I tell it all the time.
- It's funny.
â- To you.
Okay.
Listen up, guys.
This guy walks into his shrink's office and he says, "Doc, what's wrong with me? I'm a teepee.
I'm a wigwam.
" And the doc says, "that's your problem.
You're two tents.
" Do you get it? Two tents.
That's bad, Claire.
That's really bad.
You made her like that.
If you let her feel things, maybe she'll know what is funny.
Don't care what you people think.
Me likey.
Mm.
What is wrong with "me likey"? - Claire â- Yes.
- I love you.
- Oh, then stop saying it! - It just seems a little childish.
- Really? 'Cause you're the one who can't stop playing with his pogo stick.
- You know what? â- Mm-hmm? Maybe you'd be happier - if you played with my pogo stick once in a while.
- Oh, my god! What's sad is they're actually talking about a pogo stick.
What's sad is you love electricity more than me.
It's like we have a deranged second grader bouncing around the neighborhood.
- When did you get so old?! - Oh! I mean, I love you! All right, Cam, it's been a pet peeve of mine since I was a kid, and I've asked you so many times that when you ignore me, it feels a little passive-aggressive.
And when you nag me constantly, it feels like I'm talking to my mother.
When I have to nag you, it makes me feel like I am your mother, which could be why it's been a month since we played with each other's pogo sticks.
- Oh.
- Ay.
Oh, my god! How do you think we feel, Mitchell?! Oh! Miss, this is not going the way it should be.
Why don't you tell us how to fix this? I'm so sorry.
I have to go.
No, no, no! You have to help us put this back together! It's a family emergency.
Trust me, it cannot be as bad as this one.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! But I have to go pick up my son because my idiot ex-husband loaned his car to his latest Tinder whore.
We paid good money for this.
No, it was only $84.
Excuse me? I would've paid more, but nobody else was bidding.
That's great.
You know what? I deserve it.
This is what you get for dumbing down 30 years of research for a trite analogy of a junk drawer.
Just because my editor told me it would get me on the "Ellen" show.
You were on "Ellen"? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I danced my way into America's heart, and that's why I'm stuck here on a Sunday afternoon for 80 bucks.
Wait.
You can't leave now.
All our junk is out! - Hey.
â- Hey.
That's a cool shirt.
You look nice.
I have to cut you off right there.
The shirt stays on.
I have to hang up on this booty call.
Wait, what? You and me, this -- This has to stop.
I'm so racked with guilt.
I keep giving money to different charities.
I even fronted a Zach Braff movie on Kickstarter.
Andy, slow down.
No, you're not gonna talk me into it.
I'm even wearing embarrassing underwear just in case.
Oh, god, you're making this so much easier.
Look, I texted you to say the same thing.
You did? Yeah.
I'm trying to be a better person.
And, ironically, you're one of the reasons why, but A better person does not hook up with an engaged person.
So, what now? I don't know.
We're still gonna see each other.
You work for, like, half my family.
Do I remove you from my calling circle? I think that's between you and your wireless carrier.
I guess that's that.
It's not like it's goodbye forever.
It's just When we run into each other from now on, we keep our clothes on.
Yes.
Totally.
But, you know If things were different -- I know.
Bye, Haley.
Bye.
So, that's it? It's over? I can't believe she just left like that.
Great.
Now what? I know what you're all thinking, and, yes, I will take over as group leader.
No one's thinking that.
I'm the only one with improv experience.
Oh, really? Or was I the only white member of Ha Ha Blacksheep? I seem to remember bringing down the hizouse with such classic characters as a scared tourist, quarterback, and Bryant Gumbel.
I'll tag you in if I need you.
All right, everyone.
This first exercise is called entrances and exits.
Let me go first.
I'm leaving to watch the football game.
- No, señor! â- Jay, no.
Oh, dear god! The only reason we stirred all this up is 'cause Mrs.
Magoo here thought she was bidding on a home organizer.
I knew exactly what I was doing! I have tried everything.
I just needed a new way to get you to express your feelings and to allow other people to express theirs.
I need you to be fine with Manny dancing around the living room when he's happy and Joe crying when he's sad.
- You don't see the downside to all this? - No.
Mitchell, you want to weigh in here? âWe're all reliving it.
How about you two? You feel good about getting all this stuff out in the open? Let me just make one thing perfectly clear.
There were two tents.
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