14. Heavy Is the Head (第8季)【完整台词】

1 Breathe it in, girls.

My journey begins today.

Finally bringing something into this world I can be proud of.

As children, the Wright Brothers dreamed of flying machines.

Oprah dreamed of hiding presents under chairs.

And I dreamed of building something magnificent.

Well, recently, Jay and I bought a vacant lot on which we are building Dunphy Tower.

What I wouldn't give to reach back in time to tell the 15-year-old dreamer who drew this, "We did it, kid.

" Hey.

- Claire, you look terrible.

- Thanks.

No.

I mean, you're all locked up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess the spa day that I booked for you tomorrow came at the perfect time.

Oh, right, that.

I have to be very delicate with Gloria around my birthday.

Last year, for some insane reason, she got me this gift certificate for ridiculous salsa-dancing lessons.

Like I'm ever gonna use that.

Come on.

Anyway, somehow, she's convinced herself I didn't "appreciate" her gifts.

You know.

[Scoffs] Some people.

So, tomorrow at work might be a little bit hectic.

Just a lot of stuff going on at the office.

And it's not that I don't want to do it, 'cause I do.

No, Claire, let's not do this dance again.

We all know how you feel about dancing.

- [Camera shutter clicking] - Proud, proud day, Phil.

Thanks, partner.

Maybe we should get this show on the road.

The photographer's been taking shots of Haley when she's not looking.

That's weird.

I didn't hire a photographer.

Dunphy, right? Jared Cook.

- Nice shovel.

- Thanks.

I painted it myself.

This is my partner, Jay Pritchett.

I represent Jetatech.

- Are you familiar with us? - Not in the least.

Oh, you'll have to forgive Jay.

He's a bit of Luddite.

Anyway, our building is two doors down, and we're looking to expand our campus.

We want this lot, and we're prepared to offer you 20% over what you paid plus expenses.

That's a nice offer, Jare, but I don't think you understand what's happening here.

It's not about the huge profits.

We're building my son-in-law's dream, and it's gonna be a giant success because this is man of vision.

Oh, I know all about dreams.

Someday, I hope to get into encrypted packet switching.

Good luck to you, gentlemen.

Jay, this man's vision just got blurry with tears.

Would you get ahold of yourself.

I just said that crap to drive the price up.

- He'll be back.

- I don't want him to come back.

Whether you meant it or not, this is my dream.

We're in this to make money.

And we will.

By the power vested in me by the Commercial Zoning Board, I do hereby officially break ground on the future home of Dunphy Tower.

Oh, that's strong soil.

That's a good omen.

I'm gonna pogo it.

[All shout indistinctly] Anybody else bring a shovel? Oh, thank God you're here.

It's a nightmare.

The staff is in an uproar about these budget cuts.

Telling them there's no more overtime was bad, but when I had to tell them there were no more bagels, someone threw a cup at my head.

I don't know what else to do.

Sales-wise we didn't exactly have the Christmas I was hoping for.

What do people give each other, anyway? Well, just spitballing here maybe we could fire Kenny from the warehouse.

No one's getting fired.

But he does a really hurtful impression of me.

[Sighs] Come on, guys.

Everybody gather round.

I don't like these budget cuts any more than you do, but I want you to know I'm in this with you.

I've cut my expenses.

All the execs are flying coach.

But I do want you to feel like you have a voice in this.

So, not only is my office door always open to you, I've actually had it removed.

That's a very powerful metaphor, boss.

[Nasally] That's a very powerful metaphor, boss.

[Laughter] Kenny, thanks for keeping it light.

[Laughs] So good.

Gloria: Happy birthday! - What are you doing in here? - You said that you were too busy to get away from the office to celebrate.

So I brought the celebration to you.

- Snap.

- Oh.

- Is that caviar? - Yes! And something to wash it down.

- Oh, yay, champagne.

- [Chuckles] Get me a door.

If I don't win the science fair with this thing you built me, it's rigged.

- Amen, sister.

- [Door opens] Oh, come on, you started without me? No, we finished without you.

Yeah, we wanted it work.

I guess you also wanted it to be really simplistic, because right there, you can make it better - if you just added Okay.

- [Drill whirs] So, right there, you can make it better - if you just added Okay, - [Drill whirs] I thought you said you were done! Okay, Mitchell, - I love you.

- But? No "but.

" Yet we both know I'm the more mechanically-inclined daddy.

I'm handy.

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't do anything, either.