17. Pig Moon Rising (第8季)【完整台词】

1 - Hey, buddy.

- Nothing! Sorry.

Habit.

I'm not actually doing anything wrong.

Just checking to see if I got into A.

S.

U.

Without us?! Guys, get in here! It's happening! Claire: Phil saw videos online of families celebrating the moment their kid got into college.

For pure drama, you can't beat that thing when an entire family's nervous anticipation turns into an explosion of utter joy.

- Come on! - Come on, N-Y [All groaning] - Notre - Haley: [Squeals] - Damn.

- Claire: [Groans] All righty, here we go.

And record and - "Welcome to Arizona State" - [Both cheering] - It's happening! - Oh, my God! "Welcome to Arizona State's admissions portal.

" - [Sighs] - "We regret to inform you" - Aww, pal - [Groans] Well, don't leave us in suspense.

What did they say? Hey, I just peeked in on Lily, and guess who she was curled up with on her bed? If it's not the cat, I'm gonna be really upset about how you're teasing this out.

I love that she has a pet that she's close to like I was with my pet pig Lily.

Still no guilt, I see, after tricking me into naming our daughter after bacon.

I was very close to that pig.

For heaven's sakes, I still have her ashes in the garage.

True.

I recently started exercising in the garage, and on the first day, I, uh I dropped a couple of pounds.

[Treadmill whirring] [Thud] [Coughs] I knew Mitchell was lying.

I was just giving him the opportunity to come clean.

I had discovered the urn was empty.

Lily? You know, I was thinking tonight maybe we could bury the ashes in the back yard after we get back from your dad's.

It's a perfect night to pay tribute.

- W-why? - The Pig Moon.

- I'm sorry? One more time.

- The Pig Moon.

Every 18 years, the moon takes on a pink hue, and it aligns with Orion.

- Oh.

- It's a huge deal back home.

There's a festival, they empty out all the jails as a sign of goodwill.

So, we're having, like, a ceremony tonight? - Yes, sweetie.

- But don't we have Grandpa's? - Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

- Well, you know what? We're always looking for a credible reason to leave early.

So, what are we supposed to say? "No no dessert for us.

We got to get home.

"We got to bury the 25-year-old ashes "of a Brunswick King sow.

" Wow.

Nice attitude.

It's almost like you want Pig Moon John to fill your hunting boot with coal.

[Sighs] This is so slow! If you're on the Pritchett's Closets website, we're aware of the slowdown.

It's either a hack by the Chinese or that Chinese hack I hired to fix the website.

No, I'm trying to get tickets for tonight's Gloria Estefan concert.

That's a little on the nose.

- Joe: Mom, it happened again! - [Sighs] - Jay, sit down here and pay attention.

- Ugh! You have to move fast when it's your turn, or they'll move to the next person.

Joe, this is exactly why we're not giving you a knife until you turn 6 years old.

I missed the days when people stood in actual lines.

If you weren't willing to stand in the rain, you didn't get to see Gary Puckett & the Union Gap.

[Toaster pops] - Ow! Damn it! - [Computer beeps] What? It was one second! Gloria: [Sighs] - Okay, give it back to me.

- No need.

I got 'em.

Oh, really? And you paid? Yeah, you got your browser filling out your credit card info.

It's not super secure, but, whoever steals them will probably spend less than you.

Oh, what a B-U-tiful morning.

I joke because I've been accepted to B.

U.

Oh, Manny, I'm so proud of you! I'm six for six.

So many suitors not sure which to choose from.

I feel like Lady Mary in the last season of "Downton Abbey.

" I'd avoid the big football schools.

And tonight we're going to celebrate.

We're going to a concert.

I got the tickets online.

Easier than buying them at the venue, I guess.

What is the venue, uh, by the way? You can't buy them at the door.

It's a private concert.

It's just for the fan club.

I remember our first Gloria Estefan concert.

You were so little, sitting on my shoulders, holding the lighter.

I'm gonna leave.

Yes, before I know it.

No, right now.

I obviously need something to wear tonight.

Oh, okay.

I'll go with you.

What a great idea.

Go! Make a day of it.

No, wait, wait, wait I can't go to the mall wearing my house heels.

What a good excuse to buy a nice pair of new ones.

That's why I love you.

[Chuckles] Always remember that.

Thank you so much, Mrs.

Pasternak.

I'm sure you're wondering why I want these ashes.

Not really, but I'm gonna need the urn back.

I'm gonna turn it into a lamp.

[Exhales sharply] - Hello, Mitchell.

- Oh, God! [Gasps] [Coughs] Is everything okay? You're looking a little ashen.

I'm fine.

I-I I accidentally spilled pig Lily's ashes, and I I thought that I would You would just replace them with Morris Pasternak's? - How'd you know - His class ring is by your foot.

- Oh, yeah.

- That pig was my best friend.

Didn't you eat her mother? You know, you have no respect for anything that's important to me.

My whole upbringing is just a big joke to you.

Dad, I was thinking about the Pig Moon funeral tonight and how important Lily was to you.

Aww, that is so sweet.

You definitely inherited her compassion.