21. Alone Time (第8季)【完整台词】

1 Daddy, want to come throw with me? - Oh, I'm actually in the middle of - Not you.

- Okay.

- Oh, uh, yeah, but just for a bit while, uh, Gloria and Joe go through some of your old toys in the garage.

- I'll fly there.

- Mm-hmm.

GLORIA: Okay, vamanos! Kid loves that cape.

So, I see your stance on sons wearing accessories has evolved.

The cape gives him superpowers.

What did leg warmers give you? Flair.

They gave me flair.

Leave me alone, okay? Everybody, leave me alone.

Hey! What's all that? (sighs) I just I'm sorry.

I just need a night away.

- Here.

Want to help? - I don't do that.

Okay.

It's just it's been a lot recently, you know, coming off of a really long trial, Cam's spring cleaning frenzy, hauling Lily all over for softball, pretending to care about softball.

Oh, I get needing time away.

I was married to your mother.

Like you are now.

I have it all planned out.

I drive to the desert.

I check into the Markham a few hours by the pool, massage, then I head downstairs for a juicy steak frites, just me and my book, which can't talk to me.

- So do it.

- (sighs) Asking Cam to go away alone is three weeks of wounded crazy that I I don't want to deal with right now.

Don't ask, tell.

Isn't that what you fought for? Okay, I don't know what to address first.

Uh, Jay, Gloria's ready to go.

All right.

Take it easy.

You have a good one, too Mrs.

Tucker.

- (door closes) - (chuckles) Why'd he call you Mrs.

Tucker? Why does he wear those boxy jeans? I don't know.

No, seriously.

W-Why is he messing with you? (sighs) All right, yeah, what the hell.

Um, I told him how I would love to go to the desert for a night.

- Okay, yeah.

Fun.

Let's go! - Hold, please.

How I would love to go to the desert for a night alone.

- I don't care.

- All right.

If you want to go alone, go alone.

I don't care.

Oh, see, you said "I don't care" twice.

Because that's how much I don't care.

Why are you still here? Cam, don't be hurt.

I'm not running from you.

- Here.

- And I'm not folding that.

I just wanted a night alone, okay? Lily's going to that sleepover tonight.

- It seemed like a good night to do it.

- So, go! You know, I don't love the implication that I'm so needy I can't spend one night by myself.

I didn't say that.

You didn't not say that.

And you're not not being needy.

Well, to show you how not needy I am, I will pack your bag for you.

It's already packed? Oh, yeah, well, this is the third time I've tried asking you.

Bye.

I love you.

Okay.

- PHIL: Oh, hello, Claire.

- Hi, honey.

I just got back from the most beaut Oh! Oh, indeed.

Welcome to your pre-recorded seduction.

Mama likes! Papa knows.

That's right.

I know my wife so well, I was able to anticipate her questions before she asked them.

Well, this is kind of fun.

The sexiest? I don't know.

The world's a pretty big place.

Help yourself to a glass of wine, my love.

Oh, it's kind of early in the day, but how often do we get the house completely to ourselves? Easy, thirsty! I've got plans for you.

Hint this won't be the last time you see me on a sheet today.

(snaps fingers) Now you.

Well, I guess your beautiful lunch will have to wait.

(door opens) Someone's here! No, Claire! - What? - Yes, Claire.

Show me those pretty feet.

- How do you turn this thing off? - The sheet said yes.

You know what's not real conducive to studying? 100 nerds crying in every different Asian language! You knew finals were coming, people.

Calm the hell down! LUKE: Oh, good.

You're here.

Do we have any corn? What is happening? Are those chickens? Epic senior prank.

Don't make it too epic.

- How will you top it next year? - Get them out.

Get them out.

- Now, now, now.

- I need to grab something upstairs.

Oh, God.

Come on, guys.

- (door opens, closes) - The door! What is going on? Guess who I found driving through the neighborhood who insisted on stopping over to say hi with his new wife and her kids! It was me! Dylan.

- You know, from before? - BOTH: Yeah.

Mr.

and Mrs.

D, this is my wife, Dr.

Elaine Kolchuck.

Doctor? Yeah, I don't know why he does that.

And these are my beauties, Betty and Janice.

- CLAIRE: Mm-hmm.