5. Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook (第8季)【完整台词】

1 [Doorbell rings] Great.

The karaoke machine.

Thanks, Uncle Mitch.

It's Cam's, and he loves it.

He's never more than two glasses of wine away from treating us all to an impromptu concert.

It's 100 bucks if you break it.

- Really? - Do you want more? Who's America's favorite TV mom? Could it be June Cleaver? That must make me the Beaver.

I can't hear too well.

How hard is Luke laughing? Don't waste this gold on me.

Get over to the Hendersons' party, put your keys in a bowl, do the Hustle.

Relax.

Your uncool parents aren't gonna hang around your party and make it all lame.

Of course not.

Hey.

I just heard a story about a kid who had an unsupervised party and one of the guests broke his leg because he jumped off the roof onto a trampoline and sued the parents.

We have a trampoline.

And a roof.

I need to know that you're joking.

Mom, I have everything under control.

[Laughing] Claire, come on! He's a responsible young man! Have a little faith in your son.

These are all the emergency numbers.

That's Fire, Police, Poison Control, Homeland Security.

You're in charge.

I mean, unless you happen to have other plans.

Yeah, let's just pretend I partied too hard last night.

You're an animal.

- Mitch: Ugh! - Hmm? - Dang it! - What's wrong? Is this flower straight? I don't know.

Oh! [Laughs] Halloween prank! That's payback from last year.

A Pritchett always pays his debts.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

The Friedmans' pool party.

[Laughing] That's what I say.

[Laughs] What is -- Classic.

The old fly in the plastic ice cube gag.

Very funny! Very -- No! Ha, ha! You're melting! You're melting! I did the ice cube.

Well, now you're the one who's wet.

Not really.

Most of it's on the floor.

[Thud] Phil, are you okay? I'm fine.

Yeah.

Hey, you know what the Beaver said when he slipped in water? - Damn it? - Damn it.

Jay, as a Catholic, I do not feel right about this.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

It's the perfect family costume.

It doesn't even make sense.

Joe should be the Jesus.

Yeah! "Joe" short for "Joseph.

" "Jay" short for "Jaysus.

" It's the only way it makes sense.

- But he's the child.

- You're overthinking it.

Huh? You get who this is, right? Harriet Tub Man? Oh, Joyce Carol Floats.

Farrah Faucet, spelled F-A-U -- Yeah, I get it.

And why are you only guessing women? I'm Dalton Trumbo, blacklisted screenwriter, wrote in a bathtub.

I'm a little worried that because of the movie, a lot of people will have this costume.

I think you're good.

Nobody going to Luke's party will ever be able to figure out that costume.

Yeah, that's why I'm going to a different party.

You're not skipping Luke's party to go to someone else's.

There's going to be a million people at Luke's.

He's not going to care whether or not I attend.

Manny, is this because Luke beat you for class president? Why can't you get over this devastating humiliation? Because something keeps me reminding me.

But it has nothing to do with that.

Sophie Chambers is throwing a party with a much more sophisticated crow-- You're not going to any party thrown by any member of that crooked Earl Chambers family.

That bastard stole my closet company right out from under me! No, no, no, no, no.

Don't say the word "bastard" when you're dressed like Jesus! And you -- never turn your back on family.

My cousin Gomez skipped my other cousin Gomez's party, and my cousin Gomez felt completely stabbed in the back.

- Because he -- - Because he was.

Come on.

The party's going to be at Sophie's grandpa's mansion.

It's the social event of the season.

You're going to Luke's! That's not fair! You heard your mother! You're going to Luke's! [Softly] - You're going to Earl's.

- What? You're gonna put dead fish in his shoes.

And I'm gonna cover for you if your mother gets suspicious.

Where am I going to hide fish? You're in a bathtub! - Happy Halloween! Thank you.

- Happy Halloween.

- They just took one, right? - Yes.

How much candy do we have to hand out before I go trick-or-treating? Can't I just take a knife and go by myself? No! No one would mess with me.

I told you she was too young for "West Side Story.

" - Hmm.

- W-What are you doing? What? It's my one and only candy bar for the night.

No more Snickers.

If you don't want to hear any more snickers [Laughing] then don't pretend that's your last candy bar.

Cam doesn't react well to candy.

Which is why I never eat it.

Except on Halloween.

And I admit, in years past, I may have overindulged.

Which leads to a crazy high followed by a tearful, self-loathing crash.

It's a Days of Red Vines and Roses.

Trick or treat! Yep, just take one.

[Chuckles] [Laugh maniacally] I know that laugh.

Not this year.

Drop it.

You're crazy.

Yeah, crazy for justice! And just because you're dressed like a villain doesn't mean you have to act like one! Oh, my God.

Can you believe that? Yes, a 9-year-old kid wanting extra candy on Halloween.

Oh, it is baffling.

Speaking of 9-year-olds wanting candy on Halloween Okay, just a second, honey.

Cam, maybe grabbing a kid's arm is where we draw the line.

I think I read that in every single law book.