Huh?
The hotel owner is very strict
about women who do what you do.
Ooh, you're gonna take me to a room
where the hotel owner
is going to give me
a very tough, sexy talking to?
No, you're gonna leave,
or we're gonna call the police.
- Yes, call the police.
- Gloria
I've been a very, very bad girl.
[NORMAL VOICE] This is not a part of it.
Sir, she is not a prostitute.
This is my wife.
That's what they all say.
Please.
Yep, that's probably what
I would've said.
Here she is.
Ciconi.
[BUZZING]
What do you want?
- Oh, hi!
- Hey! Wow.
You're actually hotter
than your picture.
You know, let us talk.
Hi! So, we're
- we're Luke's uncles.
- We're Luke's uncles.
- You're his uncles?
- BOTH: Uh-huh.
And you said he put sweaty moves
on brain-dead bimbos?
Okay, hadn't heard the specifics.
Okay, you know you know what?
We d We didn't mean any of that.
We're gay, and gays are snarky.
It's a cultural thing.
You know how, like, you're Italian?
[ITALIAN ACCENT] Italians talk
a lot with their hands, right
[NORMAL VOICE] and are much looser
than one would imagine for Catholics.
Okay, okay.
Let me talk right now.
Okay, Amanda, Luke's an amazing guy.
Why would I believe
what you're saying now
and not what you said before?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, maybe we were
just being snarky
- because we were jealous of you guys.
- Yeah.
I mean, seeing Luke all dressed up,
getting ready for a first date, the
the excitement of being
young and in love.
- Mm.
- Easy.
I-I remember when I first met Cam
- I'm Cam.
- This is Cam.
I knew I had met the person
I was gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
That's what I want, too
a relationship,
someone who's gonna be there for me.
Luke feels the same way.
I mean, this is a guy
who is ready for commitment.
[HUSHED] We've really only texted.
Okay, well, when I say
when I say to give Luke a chance,
it's because I-I know
what's at stake for you.
I-I mean, you think it's amazing now?
You can't even imagine
what it could grow into.
If you guys have
even the smallest chance
of having what we have
you have to go for it.
[VOICE BREAKING] Oh, my God, Mitchell.
That is the Valentine's Day card
I've always wanted.
Aww.
That was sweet.
But Luke's gone.
Drive until you hear a party.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
Good luck, honey.
- Bye, then.
Yeah, take care.
- Okay.
You see, we have the same address
and the same last name.
I was just pretending to be a prostitute
because my husband has a thing
for Jane Fonda in "Klute.
"
The body was crazy,
unfortunately, so were the politics.
Well, I guess you didn't do
anything wrong by hotel rules,
but based on my personal
belief system
We're not looking for any input.
Thank you.
I can't believe I took
romantic advice from Phil,
a grown man I've seen in
lederhosen at least three times.
Phil told you to do the role play?
Yeah, he said you were mad this morning
because I always drop the ball
on days like this.
I wasn't mad at you.
I was mad at Joe
because he didn't make me a Valentine.
So your 6-year-old kid
doesn't give you a card, you get so mad,
you throw a tire iron
through the windshield.
It's got to be deeper than that.
Manny, for the first time ever,
didn't make me a Valentine's, either.
That's not deeper.
That's just doubling down
on the same disturbing thing.
Disturbing?
When Manny was 5 years old,
he told me that he would
forever be my Valentine's.
Promises were made.
I will not be ignored!
Okay, yeah.
That sounded weird.
But the point is that I know
that you're not good at romantic things,
- and I'm fine with it.
- Don't let me off the hook.
If I did more, you wouldn't depend
on your kids for those things.
And if I learned anything
from trying to pick you up tonight,
it's how lucky I was to get you
in the first place.
I've got to do better.
And I didn't think anyone
could get any sexier
than Raoul Matadore.
I want to remember the exact moment
I fell in love with you all over again.
[SIGHS]
[SHATTERS]
What the hell have you done?
That was my father's watch!
Poor little Joe.
You don't think I led him on, do you?
No, no.
I am not doing this.
Women always blame themselves.
Well, I'm sorry, Joe.
I don't owe you anything.
You know what?
I-I think I'll handle this.
Hey, buddy.
Are you gonna yell at me, too?
Listen.
The reason Claire was yelling at you
was to protect my feelings.
She knows I can't compete with you,
which is, um
which is why I have to ask you
a really big favor.
Can you pick another girl?
I mean, you can have anyone you want,
but Claire's all I've got.
I'd be lost without her.
I don't even know how I got her
in the first place.
You are pretty silly.
What do you say?
Dude to dude, will you back off?
Okay.
Is Haley seeing anyone?
Easy.
[SIGHS]
How'd I get back to Arvin? I don't know.
I was just looking for the parking lot
when I came to a fork in the path.
Had I taken the other path,
I would've just gotten in my car
and gone home.
Instead
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
You came back!
Damn it, I did!
Why did you run off? What did I do?
Everything.
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