19. CHiPs and Salsa (第9季)【完整台词】

Not again.

I just came from an intervention.

Oh, no, no, Nicole, this is a staff meeting.

You asked us to be here.

Oh.

Here you go, Kato.

Yes, I wanted to talk to you all about something very important.

So, what plant has been revered for its healing properties for millions of years? Aloe.

'ello to you, too, but let's stay focused.

- Peppers.

- Peppers.

Weird, we are so in synch these days.

I want to be in the pepper business, people.

And I need ideas now.

[SNAPS FINGERS] I haven't come up with a single product idea in weeks, so I'm on thin ice at NERP.

And I don't mean the low-calorie ice cubes we sell on our website.

Well, my my step-grandmother, she is from Colombia, and she sells a salsa that is supposedly made with these magical peppers.

Peppers? I was just talking about them.

Yeah.

When can I meet her? Sell my sauce business to NERP? HALEY: I think you could get a lot for it.

When Nicole wants something, she just throws money at it.

She bought her next-door neighbor's house because she liked the mailbox.

I don't know.

I do.

Dump it.

That thing is worth less than a bachelor's degree.

Please, Gloria.

I really need this.

No one takes me seriously at that office.

I don't even have my own cubicle.

I share one, giant bean bag chair with the interns.

I want to help you, but something feels wrong.

Just go to the meeting and hear what the offer is.

Okay, fine.

I will go.

I will listen.

But I am not selling.

[SIGHS] - What do you think? - JAY: It's gonna be tough.

She's got a lot of practice not selling that sauce.

Whoa, what's up with the blazer and the t-shirt? Thought you were going to a college interview, not doing stand up in 1988.

I'm starting to think maybe college isn't for me.

There's this guy at the club who said I could be a model.

He said he's gonna take me out to the desert this week - and take some pictures.

- I'd put a pin in that.

Of course you're going to college.

What are you talking about? I don't know.

I wasn't very good at school the first time around.

Maybe I'm just Hey! Don't you dare call yourself "an idiot".

I wasn't going to.

I was gonna say, "Maybe I'm not ready.

" Honey, it's just nerves.

Change is scary, but in the end, I promise, it is all worth it.

Your mother's right.

You dig deep, you make your best effort, - that's where you find the glory.

- Exactly.

Like that time I beat her in that race.

Maybe 10 years ago, Phil challenged me to a race.

I don't believe it! Daddy wins! PHIL: Do you believe in miracles? U.

S.

A.

! He was feeling adrift because the kids were back at school, so I let him beat me.

[LAUGHS] He has not shut up about it since.

- Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God, Usain Bolt wins again! Can you even imagine what that feels like? Oh, I don't have to, sweetheart.

I lived it.

All appeared lost, but I turned on the afterburners He's heard the story, Phil.

And I pull off one of the greatest upsets in the history of husband-and-wife competition.

Okay, I'll go to that college interview and hear them out.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

I think what you and I did right there was called "great parenting".

Might be time to retire that story.

I am so sorry.

That was insensitive.

I didn't realize how much it must bother you to relive that loss.

Phil, I am just feeling Hey, don't you dare call yourself "a failure".

I let you win.

You what? Oh, I had you beat, easily.

I didn't even break a sweat.

As a matter of fact, I almost pulled a muscle holding back.

But, I saw how much it meant to you, and I let you win.

Oh, wow, yeah.

No, that makes a lot of sense.

I get it.

Like the way all the other horses wanted Secretariat to feel good.

Now you're Secretariat? I don't know.

Was Secretariat married to a crazy person? Oh, God, Phil, I 100% let you win.

Then, you could 100% beat me again.

Oh, I could.

Same course? I've only gotten stronger.

How 'bout we add a few challenges? - Monkey bars? - Great! Rope climb.

I love it.

Tires.

Why not? Noon? - Fine.

I have a showing.

I'll move it.

- Hope it's not too heavy.

The release form for this ride-along is is shockingly thorough.

I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.

I can't bury another ride-along.

I'm kind of the precinct cut up.

Okay.