4. Sex Lies Kickball (第9季)【完整台词】

1 I wonder what Manny's doing right now.

Why don't you call him? You call him.

I don't care what he's doing.

I'm trying not to bug him.

He said that he needed some time to adjust to college, so I'm giving him Stop the car! - [TIRES SCREECHING] - [ALL SCREAM] Why would you do that?! I think that's Shorty.

Shorty and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember.

He and his wife, Darlene, moved to Costa Rica a few years back for, uh I don't know why.

Ruin his life eating beans, fighting malaria, drinking water people bathe in? This.

This is when you sound racist! You come to town and you don't tell me? I ought to punch you in the neck, you son of a bitch.

Jay! I want to kick you in the knee, you stupid idiot! That might not be a thing.

You're a terrible best friend.

Don't yell at me.

I'm only here a couple of days.

It was last-minute.

I was gonna call.

This Joe? You're huge.

Eh, I can be bigger.

What are you doing? Where are you staying? I'm checking in at the hotel over there.

No hotels.

You're as bad with money as you are with pants.

What's going on down there, anyway? These? Palazzos.

Never felt so comfortable.

Everything goes where it wants to go.

[CHUCKLES] Shorty, why don't you come and stay with us? You will even get your own room 'cause Manny's off to college.

College?! How's he doing? I wish I knew.

He needed some space.

In the meantime, she sends him a care package the size of a Fiat, which included a pack of my favorite sausage.

I did not put the sausage Well, where did it go, then?! I know what I ate! There's too many things upsetting me right now.

Go get your stuff.

Meet us back at the house.

It's done.

- You got it! - Yes! It's gonna be so nice since Manny's gone to have somebody fun again in the house.

Are you ready for this, big boy? Oh, I'm ready.

And it's gonna get pretty messy.

Mm! So, do you want to be blue or gold? I'll be blue.

'Cause I'm cool Aah! That tickles! Claire recently went to a bachelorette party where they gave everyone a passion painting kit.

The idea is that you and your partner cover one another in paint get down on the canvas.

And then get down on the canvas.

- [LAUGHS] - Stop squirming, Phil.

I'm never gonna get this paint on you.

Okay, I'll do you.

You're gonna be so gold, you'll like an Oscar.

[CHUCKLES] - So many people to thank.

- Oh, yeah.

[CELLPHONE RINGS] Oh, crap, it's Alex.

Just ignore it.

I can't.

What if something's wrong? Hi, honey.

Everything okay? ALEX: Yeah, I'm just, uh, letting you know I'm sleeping at home tonight.

Uh, h-how far away are you? About 20 minutes.

Oh, that leaves 10 minutes for cleanup.

Also, is it okay if, um, Ben stays over tonight? [SIGHS] Sure.

I guess if his mommy says it's okay.

[SCOFFS] Mom, you don't have to take a shot at Ben every time he comes up.

[SCOFFS] Yeah, right, like I wouldn't ask my mom.

I'm really supposed to ignore that? Listen, he is my boyfriend, - and I'm getting really tired of this.

- Oh, calm down.

- It was just a joke.

- Well, it's not funny! When you attack Ben, you attack me.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

[SIGHS] Ugh! Now, where were we? Honey, I kind of think maybe the moment has passed.

[CELLPHONE RINGS] Ohh, it's my dad.

What now? Just ignore it.

I can't.

What if something's wrong? - JAY: Hey, honey.

- Hi, Dad.

Shorty's in town! I need that set of golf clubs I gave to Phil.

That bonehead's certainly not putting them to any good use.

Why, Dad? Why do you always have to attack him? Oh, calm down.

It was just a joke.

I'll pick them up in the morning.

He pisses me off so much! Come on! Let's do this! This doesn't feel like it's about me.

I'm gonna hop in the shower.

What? What's been going on with you lately? You look so handsome.

Oh, well, thank you, sweetie.

You know what, I added a serum step to my skin-care regimen.

W-Wait a minute.

You're just angling for horseback-riding lessons, aren't you? - Come on! - No.

You're not gonna become one of those over-scheduled kids that burns out at 13 and wears combat boots to the beach.

I'm the least-busy Asian kid in my school.

Great.

Take the other end of this sheet and help me make up the bed for Lionel.

Lionel's staying here tonight? - Yes.

- Yes.

Pepper and Ronaldo are dropping him off.

Last year, Pepper and Ronaldo told us that they wanted to become parents and were on a quest to acquire Rihanna's eggs.

And we said, "Or, you rich queens", you could provide a home for a child that needs one.

" So they adopted, and we are a little nervous about how it's going because, um, when they first introduced us to Lionel, we could tell that it wasn't a great fit.

Hi, Lionel, it's nice meeting you.

Hey.

Cool shirt.

It's a basketball costume.

Jersey.

Jersey.

Right.

Like "Jersey Boys.

" Okay, somebody fix me a drink.

We just got cheeseburgers out of a window and ate in our car.

Do we have to disclose that when we sell it? It seemed like a bit of a rocky start, but Pepper said it's going well.

Parenting does change you.