They did not know any better
until, one day, the white man arrived.
What is this?
The white man took pity
on these primitives
by teaching them to cultivate the land.
But their kindness
was mistaken for aggression,
and a war began.
What kind of school is this?
- This is what I was taught.
- What?
Eventually, peace was restored,
and we bestowed them with
our nation's highest honor
naming football teams for them.
Joe, what play is this?
I wasn't in a play!
I don't go to school anymore!
All right, fine.
We got kicked out, okay?
Little argument with the principal.
You've been lying to me
while I was celebrating you
as an amazing father?
Hey, Gloria, this is weird.
You know, I downloaded
your My StepCounter data
onto my computer,
and it's showing your path this morning
was the same route
my mom took in her race.
Hmm?
I was never going to get
100,000 steps.
But then I learned that Claire
was going on a Turkey Trot.
The second time I hugged her,
it was a little harder
because she was really wet.
So I'm basically just
your StepCounter mule?
I thought you cared about my race.
I love you very much, Claire,
but your exercise
doesn't really interest me.
Hang on.
When did Claire
run past Pritchett's Closets?
'Cause this thing says
she never got near it.
Well, it's probably
the StepCounter made a mistake.
Oh, yeah, did it? Or Or
Or did you take a little shortcut?
No, I was probably going so fast
it couldn't even keep up with me.
I have a picture of it.
Luke?
And there you go.
That is me clearly running
in front of Pritchett's Closets.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
With a Reagan/Bush poster
in the window, huh? The photo is a fake.
It's not my fault.
Manny made it.
Manny was Photoshopping everything?
So Joe was in real danger?
I did not realize how easy it would be
for you to connect those dots.
Pretty disappointed in you, Luke.
Well, you know, it's easy to
see where he learned it from.
His mother's a cheater!
What?! Oh, don't get
so hot and bothered.
Your makeup's already running,
and what do
Do you have a Chinese character
on your bruise?
Yeah, it's probably an imprint
from the intruder's ring.
He was I'm sure he was
in a gang of some sort.
Just give it up, Mitchell.
He knocked himself out
with some nunchucks
that I confiscated
as acting vice principal.
Oh, my God! Kung Sue is back.
Daddy, did you hear that?
Well, Cam Cam didn't
really win the football game.
Uh-huh.
He stole the last play
from the lady coach!
Accidentally! I overheard it
on a walkie-talkie
that I require
as an acting vice principal,
which is a position I'm pretty proud of
because I'm basically a sheriff.
- You're not basically No.
- Yes, I am basically a sheriff!
- [INDISTINCT ARGUING]
- I wear a hat!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Dad is doing his trick,
and he's never done it before.
He could die.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Come on!
- What trick?
Oh, Phil.
Honey, wait!
- You don't have to do this.
- Yes, I do!
I'm the only loser in
a remarkable family of winners.
No, no, no!
We are not all winners!
It turned out we all stink!
It doesn't matter! I don't want
to live a life ruled by fear!
I have to do this trick today.
[BREATHING RAPIDLY]
Although, it is getting hard to breathe!
Don't stop, Dad! You can do this!
I believe in you!
- That's not helping, honey!
- Very interesting.
Okay, I'm just gonna try
to barrel through this.
It's Normandy.
I'm an American
G.
I.
named Tony Ranzetti.
I'm from Brooklyn, and I love
my mama's home cooking!
But I don't think
I'm gonna be able to get out!
Is he talking
as Tony Ranzetti or as Phil?
What is wrong with you cowards?!
Phil needs help!
- [CLAIRE]: Kung Sue's back at it.
- [CLINK]
- Hey! Hey!
- Oh, God!
- Ohh!
- Ah!
- It's too late to get out!
-No!
This was a mistake!!
Something's wrong.
Dad?
Oh, God.
Phil! Phil!
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
- [SCREAMING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
- Oh, my God!
- What What
Holy crap, where'd he go?!
Private Ranzetti reporting
Operation Overlord is a success.
- Oh!
- Wow!
Cocktails are on me.
- That was amazing!
- Gotta hand it to you, Phil.
You get the big turkey leg.
Let's take this party to the table!
Come on, hippies.
- [STEPS]
- Cam, it's late.
Cam, I have work early in the morning.
Cameron! I cannot sleep!
Well, you should have thought about that
before you challenged me
that I couldn't do
100,000 steps in a day.
Well, how close are you?
- 125.
- Okay, fine.
[FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE]
Wait.
125 left?
- Nope.
- Oh, my God.
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所属电视剧:Modern Family
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