by ashirogi27 Here it is.
The Phineas-and-Ferb-edge-of-insanity-kiss-your-butt-goodbye-gravity's- a-stone-cold-sucker-nightmare-rail-skate-track-obstacle-course of doom! You ready, Ferb? Oops.
Ooh.
Ah.
Op.
Oh! You know, it occurs to me we could get hurt.
I guess the "of doom" in the name should've tipped us off.
Well, Ferbooch, unfortunately, there's only one way down.
The stairs.
Okay, Linda, you may feel a little pressure.
There you are, Mom.
*Candace? Phineas and Ferb have built a giant skateboard obstacle course of doom on top of the house! You have toâ *Oh, you have got to be kidding me! *If you haven't noticed I'm kinda in the middle of something here! Is that even English? Out! Alright, alright, jeez! Don't take it out on me, I'm the good guy here! Okay, let's get back to your root canal.
*Ah, thank goodness.
Hi, Phineas.
Hey, Isabella.
What's up with the getup? I'm going for my Intrepid Reporter Patch.
Can I report on what you guys are doing? Sure.
Cool! Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, the Fireside Girl Gazette.
What'cha doin'? Ferb and I have built the ultimate extreme skate track obstacle course! Awesome! I knew I could count on you for the coolest story ever! Have you attempted a run yet? Well, we decided we still need to make a few tweaks and adjustments, so, we can, you know survive and stuff.
Okay.
I'll be back in an hour.
Hopefully I can make the Early Mid-Morning Edition! See ya! Hm Instead of modifying the track, maybe we should modify ourselves.
Together, we could be the most ultimate skateboarder ever! Hey, where's Perry? Agent P, we've begun emergency evacuation plans omega.
We've just received this tape from Doofenshmirtz.
Watch closely, Agent P, and join us in girlish panic if youâre into it.
Hey, guess what, Tri-State Area, I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have seized control and I'm now your supreme leader.
Seriously, life as you know it is over.
Thank you, and remember, doof you, doof me, doof us! I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz and I approve this evil message.
While Doofenshmirtz is in charge, no man, woman, child, or hat-wearing mammal is safe.
You must find out how this happened then stop it.
Until then, Carl and I will be on the lamb, incognito.
Good luck, Agent P! Okay.
We have to blur the line between skateboard and skateboarder.
We can combine dirt biking, ATV racing, in-line skating, street luge, motorized scooters, and Bulgarian folk dancing.
Of course, all this extreme fun requires extreme safety, shoulder pads, goggles, gloves, Bulgarian folk athletic supporters, and rocket boosters, razor wire, grappling hooks and laser blaster.
Then, we lock it all together with an indestructible titanium exoskeleton that increases strength, jumping ability, and other physical attributes 100 times, including the senses and folk dancing ability.
What, you think we should have more Bulgarian-folk-related elements? Oh, less! Less Bulgarâ Okay.
Wow, I thought we were on the same page, but no.
It's cool.
Whatever.
Time to suit up! Okay, video link active.
How you doin', Ferb? Oh, cool! Look what it does to my voice! Oh, yeah! (Song: Yippy Ki Yi Yay!) How about a little test run? three, four Catch me if you can I'm like a bullet, man On the edge of my seat By the skin of my teeth Wheeeee! Yippy ki yi yay! Wheeeee! Yippy ki yi yay! Wheeeee! Yippy ki yi yay! Wheeeee! Yippy ki yi yay! Help! Wheeeee! Help! Yippy ki yi yay! Help! Hey, what's that? Turn down the music.
He's stuck in the tree, and I can't get him down! Sounds like Buford's in trouble.
Hey, Ferb, maybe we can use this suit to help him.
Hold on tight! Hit the rocket boosters! Whoa! Yeah! Hey, Ferb, check us out! We're flying! Phineas, I'm back! Phineas? Ferb? Well, I guess there goes my Early Mid-Morning Edition story.
Look, there they are! Help, my nerd is stuck in a tree! Look, it's your favorite calculator and some math problems! Ooh! Fractions? Baljeet! I got you! What is that? This is so much worse than hitting the ground! He saved my nerd! Wow! That was amazing! I can't believe Phineas and Ferb missed it.
It's not fair.
Every time I try to bust Phineas and Ferb, it's, "Candace, I'm shopping", "Candace, Iâm having root canal surgery", "Candace, I'm deliberating with a sequestered jury.
How did you even get in here?" Then myâ Oh, look, a flying man! Wait a second.
Isn't that impossible? Wait another second! Something impossible plus that thing existing in real life equals Phineas and Ferb! Well, we've figured out how to fly.
Now, we need to figure out how to stop flying.
Deploying grappling hooks! Well, at least we stopped flying.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ex-leaders of the Tri-State Area, I have called you here to help ease the people through this transition of power.
I thought you called me here to re-caulk your tub.
Um I'm only the crossing guard at Fourth Street and Maple.
I'm not really sure how much authority Iâ Silence! Are you suggesting that I attempted to gather the leaders of the Tri-State Area, but the best I could do was a crossing guard and my building super? Uh, no But, now that you mention itâ Silence! Wrong! You're wrong! Do you know who that is? It's only Roger Doofenshmirtz, the mayor of Danville! So, shut up! What do you know, youâre only a crossing guard! That's what I'm trying to tell you! Silence! I'm sorry, but if we're not actually gonna plan Mom's birthday, then I've gotta jet.
Yeah, us too.
Beâ Hey, hey, wait! Wait! Come back! I'm notâ Oh, great, Perry the Platypus.
This is all I need.
So, what did you want to talk to me aboutâ Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Whoa! Wow, the suit makes the clean-up fast, fun and 'ficient! I feel bad about missing Isabella.
I hope she found something else to write a story about.
Early Mid-Morning Edition! The Beak saves the geek! "Superhero comes to Danville, by Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.
I call him The Beak.
" Hey, I like that.
"With The Beak watching over us, everyone in Danville is free to have the best day ever.
" Best day ever, huh? We'll see about that.
Are you in there complainin' again about never havin' a good day in your life? Well, I never did! Where's my best day ever, thank you very much? Ha, I told her.
Oh! I heard that! A superhero? That's not at all what we planned to do today! Oh, hi, Isabella.
Phineas, where'd you go? You really let me down.
Yeah, sorry about that.
It's a good thing something else came along for me to report on.
Yeah, I know, butâ Hey, maybe we can make it up to you.
Really? Yeah, how would you like an exclusive? Great! Meet me downtown in five minutes! Will do.
Come on, we have to go tell Isabella we're The Beak.
Fine, we can take the suit.
I knew it wasâ Blech, blech! "Superhero comes to Danville.
" Well, they're about to get super-busted! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Well, I've gotta admit this flying thing is pretty fun.
Hey, look, there's Isabella.
Yo, Isabellaâ Take that, birdbrain! Behold, the Khaka Crawler.
I built it in my basement out of discarded washers and dryers, thank you very much.
And I'm gonna make sure no one has the best day ever! Hide my baby! Phineas, where are you? There's this giant robot machine attacking downtown Danville! I'm all alone here! Call me as soon as you get this.
Come on, Isabella, this is what being an intrepid reporter is all about! Oh, this is not good, Melanie.
I'll bet they'll try and pin this on me.
It's not like you're the one who used the unsigned proposal for defending Danville from giant robot attacks as a coaster.
Oh, wait.
You were.
Yes, it's so easy to blame the guy in charge.
The guy in charge.
That's it! And whoa! Uh, you know that whole taking over the Tri-State Area thing? I-I was just bluffing.
Iâ I-I hoped maybe if I just told everyone I was in charge, they'd be too lazy or too busy to, you know actually check.
Oh, hello, Roger.
Uh-huh.
What? You are? Me? In charge? It worked? You're kidding! Y-You're not kidding? Oh, where is Phineas? He'd know what to do.
Please, Phineas.
Where are you? Who knew wrecking everyone's day would be this much fun? Hey, you! The Beak! Oh, you're back for more, thank you very much.
Oh, great.
Now I have to restart, thank you very much.
Dude, who are you, anyway? If you're here to give Danville the best day ever, then I'm here to give Danville the worst day ever.
You can call me Khaka Peü Peü! What? Oh, come on.
It's a family name, loosely translated as "The Strong Fist", or "That Strong Fist".
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