11. Ricksy Business (第1季)【完整台词】

He only wanted you to accept him, and he hopes that his final act would redeem him in your eyes.

He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick.

He died.

Well, at least he didn't die in vain.

He got these crystals.

And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba, lubba, dub, dub! Play something.

Somebody, play something.

Wait a minute.

What? Put your right foot forward and your left foot back then slide around like on a nordictrack move to the left step to the right wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light it's the, it's the it's the Rick dance it's the, it's the it's the Rick dance Slow mobius, hit me with the clock beam! It's the, it's the it's the Rick dance That's the Rick dance! All right! Whoa, man! What the hell was that?! I thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or something! What? No, no, no.

I can get us home whenever I want to.

But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? I'm starting to come down, Morty.

Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high.

That's what I think of your crystals, Rick! Oh, Morty, you idiot! Does anybody else have any more k-lax? B-birdperson? Uh, squanchy? Don't squaunch at me.

All right, everybody, party is officially over! Rick, take us home now.

All right, all right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill! Boo, boo! Morty sucks! Boo! You suck, whatever your name is.

Boo! Morty, you're the worst, Morty.

But these gears just started turnin'.

Almost finished, Jerry? Uh, almost.

I haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes.

I'm sure it's good enough.

Move! Every weekend, Jacks and Roses have their Titanic experience in this car, and I have to mop it up.

The floor drops out to make it easier.

But now it's my turn.

We're going to get it nice and steamy in there, and I'm going to slam my hand on the steam and leave a nice handprint, and then you're going to love inside of me.

No mess.

No clean.

Beth! Bet you're glad I think kindles are dumb now.

I can't help but feel a little guilty.

I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.

What does a rapist look like exactly, Beth? Is it a slavic man wearing a denim jacket with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne wafting over his blister-pocked lips? What? Well, at least you got all this free stuff.

Should be enough to satisfy your Titanic Jones for a while.

I'm not going to fit.

Beth, listen to me.

You're going to get out of here.

You're gonna go on, and -- Jerry, just leave the door.

It's not a door, Beth.

- It's debris.

- I don't care.

Just leave it.

Yeah.

Okay.

"Cape fear"! "Cape fear"! I'm -- I'm doing -- I'm -- I'm going to do like from "cape fear".

Hey, squanchers! The party's squanching on at my place! Cool.

I'm coming, too.

Uh, no.

You're not squanchy enough for a squanchy party.

What? Nancy told us what a bitch you are.

Guys, seriously.

Nancy? Summer, you're a bad person.

All you care about is having popular people like you.

That's not what Abradolph Lincoler stood for.

Well, I-it was hard to pin down what he stood for, but it's certainly not what he died for.

Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus on getting totally wrecked.

You're so wise.

May I assist you with that? Uh, sure, yeah.

Thanks.

Morty, do you know what "wubba lubba dub dub" means? Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.

It's not nonsense at all.

In my people's tongue, it means, "I am in great pain.

Please help me.

" Well, I got news for you.

He's saying it ironically.

No, Morty.

Your grandfather is, indeed, in very deep pain.

That is why he must numb himself.

Come on, um Birdperson.

Come on, birdperson.

Rick's not that complicated.

He's just a huge asshole.

Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed to continue on your adventures together? It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity to free yourself of Rick forever.

You know what? You're right.

I shouldn't even care.

This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

I'm sick of having adventures with Rick.

My people have another saying-- "gubba nub nub doo rah kah".

It means, "whatever lets you sleep at night".

Guys, mom and dad are, like, right around the corner.

This is your moment, Morty.

Choose wisely.

Tammy! Caw! Wow.

We are so screwed.

- Rick, wake up.

- Huh? What? Wait? What? What? Stop.

Rick, you got to do something quick.

My parents are home.

Uh, all -- all right.

All right.

Hold -- hold on.

Ahh! So good.

Oh, my God.

They're walking up the driveway.

- Bring me the thing.

- What -- what thing? The thing.

The thing.

The -- the -- it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it.

It -- it -- it beeps.

Rick! That describes everything in your garage! Do you mean this? Summer for for the win.

All right, that should do it.

Whoa! What did you do? Uh, s-see for yourself.

Whoa! Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time.