For those of you who were too fucking busy, this is what happened last week on Shameless.
How are you doing? In general or about us? Us.
Confused.
You? Same.
There's a policy against fraternizing with the professors.
I don't want to fraternize.
I-I want to fuck you.
Sweetheart? - It's my husband.
- Her and her hubby, they have this agreement.
You know, they're evolved.
This is Lip.
This woman is just tearing me up.
I just can't shake her.
This that doctor from the other day? - Cancer? - Stage three pancreatic.
- When did you find that out? - Ten minutes ago.
Drugs, companionship, pro bono sex.
What more could a dying woman want? Can I just crash here? I got nowhere else to go.
Go home.
Make up with your wife.
It's time.
Did Theo say something? Can't leave the fucking state to be with my son.
I'm not gonna leave until I know you're okay Go home.
I called this afternoon to check.
It turns out they have been looking for Ian for a while.
Why, Sammi? Retribution.
Aah! - Ian.
- He didn't do anything! It's a shame when someone you love gets taken away.
Isn't it? Think of all the luck you got Know that it's not for naught You were beaming once before But it's not like that anymore What is this down side that you speak of? What is this feeling you're so sure of? Round up the friends you got Know that they're not for naught You were willing once before But it's not like that anymore What is this down side that you speak of? What is this feeling you're so sure of? I never liked the smell.
Every man, woman, and child should experience a single malt before their time is up, and it can't just be any bottle.
Every whiskey is different.
Can I help you? Uh we got this covered.
You see, there's the Lowland area, Highland, Islay, Campbeltown.
You have to factor in age, what kind of oak they use to-- What's your most expensive whiskey? Let's see, I've got a 30-year Highland Park for 300 and change.
Mm-hmm.
That's the best? I've got a Macallan '39 in back.
Distilled while World War II was breaking out.
Mm.
Only bottled a limited number.
H-how much? $10,100.
You're serious? It's for investors, but, um this Highland Park is a true whiskey-- We'll take the whatever you said from World War II.
The Macallan? Right.
I said I'll take it.
Uh excuse me.
Throw in a couple of those Dominican cigars over there.
I'm sure it's good hooch, but for ten fucking grand? I'm not gonna be alive to pay off my credit card.
What does it matter? Such wisdom from one so young.
Sean, everything okay? You're late.
I'm not late.
I had to meet the new produce supplier.
Uh I-I'll be right there.
Look, I wanted to make sure you're okay-- Yeah, I'm fine.
You helped me through some shit, and I'm grateful.
No, what I'm trying to ask has nothing to do with you.
Well, how could that possibly be when the world revolves around me? Look, I have to leave early, okay? I have to leave in a few minutes, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it.
Sarah's gonna take my tables.
Are you okay? Yeah.
It's just a nice day to visit my brother in military prison.
Okay.
Oh, and Ian won't be making his shift tomorrow since my heinous cunt of a half-sister called the fuck-- Oh, shit.
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, yeah.
It's just a-- It's a bunch of little shards.
Here, let me clean you up.
Come here.
So what did Ian do? Joined the Army last year, and it didn't go well.
Hand.
Now they're charging him with being AWOL and-- aah.
Aah.
And? Destruction of federal property.
Something to do with a helicopter.
And they don't know that he's bipolar 'cause he won't tell them 'cause he barely admits it to himself.
Where are they holding him? An army base in north Chicago.
- Just hold still.
- And his boyfriend was supposed to take us, but now he can't because his brothers are using their car for, I don't know, I'm assuming a a bank robbery or a driveby.
Meanwhile, I'm fantasizing about setting Sammi's fucking clothes on fire while she's wearing them.
I mean, she ratted Ian out and put Carl in juvie and-- Yeah, quit-- quit twitching.
Just breathe.
All right? Did you get any sleep last night? At least an hour.
Mm.
Here's what we do.
We take the day one moment at a time.
Sarah closes out your tables, I pull glass from your hand, you refrain from setting people on fire, then we grab my Cadillac, pick up your family, go visit Ian, all right? Hold still.
You don't have to do that.
Damn right.
It's nice of me.
Mm.
Hey, so, uh What is cocktail attire? What? Well-- well, that party tonight, you said it was, uh-- you said it was cocktail attire? Were you thinking about that while I was on top of you? No, no, no.
It was when I was on top of you, and then that part where you arched your legs above my head.
Don't worry about the clothes.
There's a friend of mine that I want you to meet.
Yeah? Who's that? Well, he works at an aerospace lab.
Could get you a job someday.
No shit? Mm.
Hey, you, uh you take all your student flings to go meet your friends, or am I special? Is there a right answer to that question? Oh, shit.
I gotta go.
Class? Gotta go see my brother at the army base.
- Mm.
- Catch a train.
To where? Uh, Great Lakes.
North Chicago? Yeah.
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