1
I'm a pregnant teenage mom,
my boobs feel like watermelons,
my hormones are going crazy,
and my feet hurt,
but I still managed to watch
last week's episode of Shameless.
What the hell is your excuse?
The room, though, it's
it's here in the house?
Yeah.
Congratulations.
You're the new houseboy of Gamma Delta Rho.
Great.
We have only two jobs on this earth:
the first, to learn, the second, to cope.
You mean, uh, walking
through life shitfaced?
- Where's your bodyguard?
- Gone.
Is it okay if I sit here awhile?
That'd be okay.
Debs, meet Queenie.
This is Sammi's mom.
Let's get you some nettle leaf,
and it'll help to strengthen your placenta.
G-Dogg got a shipment
coming through tomorrow.
- Need you to run it.
- I'm going straight.
I'd like to offer my delivery
services for a package.
Nobody's gonna notice
if a little more goes missing
after we replace it with some baby laxative.
Fuck.
Hey!
Oh, shit.
What the fuck?
- Where'd you get that?
- I think it could be one of mine.
When Nikole finds out about this,
she's gonna take away my custody.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fuck!
Ah, fuck!
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
No! No, no, no!
Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
Shit!
- Slept here last night?
- Yeah.
- What are you writing?
- A letter to Sean's ex-wife.
- Oof.
How come?
- Ask Carl.
Carl, why is Fiona writing
a letter to Sean's ex-wife?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Okay, great.
I'll just stand here
and drink my coffee in silence.
Where are you going?
To the commune with Queenie.
Except you're not, 'cause
you have school, remember?
I need a supportive environment.
Not gonna get it here.
So that's it for high school, huh?
Pregnant dropout at 15.
Well played.
- Don't pretend you care.
- You got to graduate, Debs.
Have you heard of "unschooling"?
It's a widely recognized form of education.
- By who?
- Queenie says it's when
you get knowledge from life
instead of books.
Like making spaghetti,
when you measure water, pasta, salt.
- That's math.
- No, that's pathetic.
If I'm desperate, I can just get my GED.
You know, like you did.
Queenie, are you going to support Debbie
as she "unschools" her way through life?
Ignore her.
Well, I have so many friends in the commune
who have never had a day
of conventional education,
and they have so much worldly wisdom.
Like boiling pasta.
You want to quit school, Debs,
I can't stop you.
Enjoy yourself at what is it?
Soaring Consciousness Ecovillage.
A hundred acres, very peaceful.
Oh, and if you see Lip,
tell him never to stifle his passion.
Ta-ta.
- What's this?
- Hey, Frankie, baby.
- We're off to the commune.
- What?
Chuckie's probation papers came yesterday.
Grandma is a rolling stone.
That's a great idea.
Lying under the stars in a rural paradise.
Fresh air, crackling fire.
Jeez, that sounds nice.
Are we taking the van?
Don't you need to pack?
No, no.
I'm good.
Okay.
- Where's my change?
- In tip jar.
I wasn't planning on tipping five bucks.
Exactly.
What's her problem?
Well, her dad sold her into sexual slavery.
Pretty much put her in a bad mood for life.
Pacie must have fell out.
It's okay.
You go.
I take drinks.
- What's that accent, Polish?
- It's Russian.
So she wasn't born here.
Sent over in a shipping crate.
You pay her under the table?
Shit, yeah.
How do you think this place stays open?
Excuse me.
I'm Officer Lester Hibbert
from United States Citizenship
and Immigration Services.
- Wait, what?
- According to your boss,
you came to this country illegally.
- Nice.
- I didn't know he was
whatever he said.
I came here to unwind.
You treated me like shit.
And then you took my last five bucks.
Now we're gonna have a conversation.
- He's with Immigration?
- I had no idea.
I didn't see his badge.
Shit, we can't run this bar without her.
Not and raise two kids.
Hey, Olga.
Paycheck.
At last, I can retire.
Charlotte.
- Are you okay?
- And, Fiona Gallagher.
I was up all night.
I searched every inch of the house.
I found all of Carl's guns.
I I went to the police station.
I left them there, no questions asked.
Yeah, good idea.
Are you gonna tell Nikole?
I can't ask Will to hide this from his mom.
- I got to come clean.
- Okay.
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