God, that is really bad.
Can't we get this shit out of here? Not until the shutdown is over.
The garbage collection is suspended Wait, what? Did I hear the VP scream? No, that was me.
And it was a shout.
There was a rat on the garbage, so I shouted to scare it off.
- That was a man's voice? - Yeah, 'cause I'm a man.
I have a man's voice.
Yeah, that's right.
Walk away.
Walk away.
I swear to God, it was massive.
- It was like a pony.
- Squeak, squeak.
God! Stop! That's not cool.
Okay, guys, I'm not gonna drag this out.
We're in shutdown mode.
I've got to have a skeleton staff.
- So Keith stays, right? - What? Keith.
He's skinny like a skeleton.
Ma'am, please.
I can't afford to be furloughed.
- No, you're not.
But, Dan, you are.
- Ma'am.
Yeah, you know, you two do similar jobs.
It just makes economic sense for you to go, Dan.
Does that mean he makes more money than I do? Anyway, the deal is it's not going to be long because I've got a meeting with the Speaker today.
- Is that correct? - Today, yes.
So I'm gonna shut down the shutdown.
It looks like it's between you and me.
Without me, this office will implode.
Gary, the Secret Service is calling you Girly Shirley Temple.
- So you need to just cut - Sue.
- Yeah? - You're going home.
Oh! - Yeah, I'm sorry.
- Fine.
I need a moment.
Oh, man, that's tough.
Oh, my God.
I feel so bad for her.
- Come on, she had to go.
- Poor Sue.
- Poor Sue.
- I guess I'll be heading out.
Okay.
I need to remind you you cannot make work-related contact with anyone from this administration and you're forbidden by law from entering the West Wing or EEOB.
Actually, you did not need to remind me of that.
- I know, but I wanted to.
- Laters.
Wow, he's taking that well.
He's like Spock.
He doesn't show his emotions.
- Ever? - Ever.
Ever? - No, not even then.
- You're kidding me.
I saw him laugh once really hard when the security guy fell off his Segway.
Is laughter an emotion? Full day spa package.
No, I think you'll find it is possible.
Sue Wilson.
Valued and, if need be, aggressive client.
Can you set up a lunch with him? Great.
No, no, no.
Just browsing the store of life.
Section marked "what if.
" No, no, network the bejesus Network the bejesus out of me.
I want people to be sick of the sight of my face.
Very funny, Carl.
Gary, I don't know how to do that.
Oh, ma'am.
Oh, oh, oh.
Sorry.
Andrew donating to both parties is all over the blogs.
- Who the hell keeps stirring the shit pot? - Roger Furlong.
Thought that, too.
So obvious, Furlong.
Wow, it's like anal leakage.
The donations, the shitty book about me and Andrew having some sort of fake relationship, the land deal from, like, ages ago.
Somebody bring me the chinless head of Roger Furlong.
Well, in the acknowledgments, the author says Why do you have a copy of that? So I can refute it to people.
It's my refuting copy.
Get rid of it.
Refuse it.
Okay, look, if the VP did have a window, it'd be a high one and she'd push you out of it.
- Ooh, that's very good.
- I'm doing my impression of Sue.
- Yeah, that's very good.
- What? You're pregnant? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I did not mean that.
Listen, if you call next week, I can probably fit you in, okay? Congratulations.
Well, 'ello, governors.
Pickle me eels and tickle me belly 'cause I am off to merry London Town for a right fuckabout, eh? Innit, though? Huh? Are you going to the G8 conference in London? Yes, I am, Gary.
Thank you for asking.
Yes, I am.
It is a city where women are literally drunk all day.
And I am going to mind their gaps, my friend.
But I need my passport renewed, so can I speak to the veep? Why do you need her for that? Well, cum-for-brains, the government is shut down, so all the passport offices are closed.
So I need Selina to pull some strings for me.
So get Sue.
Where's Sue? Where's Sue? Who's the new Sue? Me.
Would you like an appointment, Mr.
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