Okay, Thornhill knows how to throw a ball, Pierce may be a sitting fuck, but the main targets here are Maddox and Chung.
Well, hit Chung with inexperience and Maddox with resignation.
Actual and general air of.
Yeah, I want their heads on my wall.
Actual heads.
God, I love this kinda talk.
Gets me aroused.
Sorry, I meant roused.
No, did I I meant aroused.
Aroused.
- Hi, Catherine.
- Hi.
- Americano, dash of cow.
- Thanks.
Whoa! Who the fuck is smiley-faced coffee boy? That's Jackson.
I hired him to sharpen up Selina's answers.
He's a writer.
Yeah, you know, speeches, one-liners.
Just me and my iPad, which I like to call the "Zinger Sewing Machine.
" Oh, so you threw away Dan and you kept the voodoo doll, huh? I know, it's terrible that the First Lady tried to kill herself, but our carrying on is what she would have wanted Does want.
Okay, let's rehearse the debate.
Congressman Furlong, can you be Joe Thornhill? Let's see.
"I don't know anything about NAFTA, "but I do know about baseball.
"Baseball, baseball, baseball.
"Look at my muscly chest.
Vote for me.
" Ben, you are Owen Pierce.
"Well, I'm a baby-faced, "know-nothing congressman from Shit Stain, Nevada, "uh, who's got the newly dropped balls "enough to think that I can run for president.
" Kent, you are former Sec Def Maddox.
Don't do the voice, though.
I've only ever used this voice, even as a young child.
Okay.
Sec Def Maddox, where do you stand on crime? Well' right now I'm coming across pretty hard-lined, so I'll go soft to outflank Mr.
Chung.
Oh, well, I'm the hip-hop governor of Minnesota and I'm coming off as too soft, so I'll try to out-hard Sec Def Maddox.
They've got more flip-flops than the cast of Baywatch.
What? Oh my God! Well, maybe.
I don't know if it's gonna be Baywatch.
There's probably a more up-to-date reference we would You know what, son? You should only talk if someone pulls your string, okay? And even then, you just say, "Tickle me.
" I like his jokes.
They're jokes, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay, everyone, a drumroll.
That's not really a drumroll.
She's coming.
She's coming.
Ready? I think Gary's about to come.
- She's coming.
- Don't do it.
It's too much buildup.
It's too much buildup.
Rebranded.
What do we think? I love it.
Ha-ha! Love it, love it.
Looks great.
I never knew you had so much neck.
- I know! - I mean that in a good way.
- Right.
- I think necks are neat.
I'm going to go show everybody myself.
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go do it.
Just imagine, that's what you'll look like when you become a boy.
Ma'am, this is the haircut that your head has always wanted, but was too afraid to ask for.
Right.
Everything about it says - Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.
Yeah.
Hello.
Oh, no, don't be shy.
If you feel like you must applaud, then, you know.
Oh! No, it's fine.
Don't, don't.
Look at that, Mom.
People are gonna start to think we're sisters now or siblings.
Well, that's not the haircut.
That's always been the case.
We always get that.
Hi.
- Ma'am.
- Yes? Would you sign this to the max, please? Yes.
Getting nothing here.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
"Short hair for the long haul.
" - That's good, I like that.
- Thanks, guys.
- Very good.
- What is it with you two? It's like flirting, but sexless.
Well, look, it's George Looney.
Hey, Kent.
Dan, what are you doing here? Everybody needs to be somewhere, Mike.
I need to be here.
So, did they cure you or whatever? No, I did not need to be cured, Michael.
I diagnosed myself with an acute case of "everythings fine.
" Can I get anybody a coffee? - Ah, yes, please.
- Yeah? Okay.
Milk and two heaping spoonfuls of whatever the fuck you're on.
Me, too.
'Cause it frames my face.
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