(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
REPORTERS: Mike! Mike! Mike!
I'm hearing that some banks may
be requiring a federal bailout.
Bailouts are not on the table.
It is possible some banks may
require massive capital infusions.
That's the literal definition
of bailing something out.
There will be no bailouts.
I was clear on this point.
- Very clear on this.
- (CLAMORING)
So, next up on the hit parade,
we get to decide which
banks to bail out.
Well, I hope to fiscal fuck
the Fed has a trillion dollars
stuffed in a mattress somewhere.
There are three banks in
danger that are gonna need
massive infusions of
cash over the weekend.
Essentially, we can only
afford to bail out two.
And if we do nothing?
Go to the ATM Monday and
dust will come out.
This is not a decision we
can make based on politics.
- No, definitely not.
- But we've got to save Janders Capital
- because they're based in Illinois.
- We need Illinois.
That's one.
Paulsten-Berheim
or EM Wheelright?
Well, Wheelright is
Charlie Baird's bank.
So
My pick is EM Wheelright.
You know what, Tom? I think
oh, yes.
What he just said.
Um, could everyone who doesn't absolutely
have to be here please leave the room?
- Thank you.
- (DOOR OPENS)
Ma'am, you cannot bail
out Charlie Baird's bank.
Why not?
'Cause that's gonna look like you
care more about your boyfriend
than you do the economy, normal people,
and everything else you're
supposed to care about.
- AIDS for example.
- Thanks, Kent's autism.
Look, there is no love lost
between me and Charlie Baird.
Though it pains me to say
it, his bank is stronger.
- That's my point.
- It's the right call for the future.
Ma'am, you are not going to have a
future if you bail out Charlie.
All right, I'm gonna
need some more time.
At least when Truman made the
decision to drop the bomb,
he wasn't fucking anyone in Hiroshima.
That we know of.
Hello there.
I'm Jonah Ryan.
(GRUNTS)
And I grew up right here
in the awesome state of New Hampshire.
The Granite State of the United States.
ANNOUNCER: For your
family, for your future,
vote Ryan for Congress.
My name is Jonah Ryan and
I approve this message.
So, now you have all seen the ad
and we want to know what
you think about it.
- Anyone?
- I didn't like the guy.
You don't like him? Okay.
That wood he's chopping,
it's not gonna burn right.
To burn the wood
is not going to burn.
What else?
His head is too big for his body.
But then sometimes his body
is too big for his head.
- He's the wrong shape.
- Uh, shape is wrong?
Does anyone have anything
positive to say about the ad?
- I like the kid.
- Yeah.
Like the kid in the ad, the little boy.
But I did not like that
he was next to that guy.
- I was like, "Run, kid.
"
- (LAUGHTER)
Oh, surprise, surprise.
Look who's here.
Do you morons really not understand
that this is a two-way mirror?
Seriously? Are you shocked
by that technology?
I work in the fucking West Wing,
you Pepperidge Farm ad motherfuckers.
- Fuck you.
- Watch your mouth.
Sit your fucking mom
jeans ass down, dude.
JEFF: You've got to learn to
control your fucking temper!
- (WOMEN SCREAMING)
- SELINA: Wow.
Lord.
This is beyond language.
MIKE: I know the world of focus groups.
I think maybe we picked
the wrong candidate.
Uh-huh.
How is Catherine
there and also here?
- She's not here, ma'am.
- Since when?
- Last week.
- Oh, my God.
And then to put a fucking
cherry on this shit sundae,
did you guys see that
article in "Politico"?
"Meyer's Five Biggest
Economic Mistakes"?
No.
"Recession Has a New
NAME: the Selina Slump"?
No.
Gary, you have the machine?
- Yeah.
- Listen to this.
"In a further sign of low morale"
No, you've got to read it properly.
- Nope, that's not it.
- You've got to spin it.
Here we go.
Why does it
keep doing the turning?
"A high-level West Wing staffer
was recently overheard
calling the president the C word.
"
Can you believe this shit?
- Oh, wow.
- That's crazy.
Yeah, this is broken, by the way.
Ma'am, I think that we
need to resume our focus
on relaunching Jonah's campaign.
We need a Jonah whisperer,
except somebody who's gonna, like,
yell in his face and call him stupid.
- Oh, we need Dan Egan.
- Dan turned us down.
But I've got some interviews lined up.
- We'll make the right choice.
- Well, are you doing it?
You're just sitting here
farting into my couch.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
SELINA: Amy, I need to
talk to you for a moment.
Yes, ma'am.
I want you to find out
who called me a cunt.
- Ma'am
- Listen, with the votes and the banks,
we can't have a traitor
in our castle, right?
Yeah
- You need to bring me a head.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey, Dan.
You want to go to lunch later
at Hansong Korean Barbecue?
Come on, I've got a
Groupon, expires Monday.
50 bucks for $100 worth of food.
It's in Annandale, Mike.
No one
from DC goes to fucking Annandale.
Hey, how about an $80 in-home
massage for 40 bucks?
- With release?
- No.
Then what's the point?
Hey, why did you turn
down the Jonah job?
(SCOFFS) Come on.
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