1
Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da
ba-da-ba-da-ba
Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da
Let's go.
We'll be there
a wink and a smile
and a great, old time
yeah, we'll be there
wherever we are,
there's fun to be found
we'll be there
when you turn that corner
when you jump out the bush
with a big bear hug
and a smile
we'll be there
Hey, we're not in the center.
Turn back.
Oh, boy.
I've been waiting
two years for this movie.
I've been playing the
trailer on loop as I sleep.
- Shh!
- [Whispering] Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Announcer: Welcome to
the feature presentation.
Please be courteous.
Turn off all your cellphones,
and refrain from talking.
Thank you.
[Birds chirping]
[Panting]
[Tires screeching]
[Candy wrapper crinkling]
[Slurping]
Oh, this is the part
where he finds his father.
[Chair squeaking]
[Cellphone chimes]
Oh, and at the end of the movie,
it was his brother the whole time.
[Coughs]
[Slurps]
[Snoring]
[Chair squeaking]
[Cellphone chimes]
[Indistinct conversations]
Well, what's wrong with everyone?
I couldn't hear a thing.
- Dude, why is everyone so rude?
- Ice Bear wants his money back.
Sir, we respectfully
request your attention.
Theatre 9 has become
a cesspool of rowdiness.
Ice Bear heard wrappers.
Not hip-hop.
- We implore you to restore order.
- [Sighs] I'm sorry.
I can issue you a full refund,
but I can't refund the way the world is.
- But you're the manager.
- If anyone can do something, you can.
There was once a time when
movies were special to people,
when people acted with
dignity in this public place.
Going to the theatre was a
loved and time-honored tradition,
but that was a long time ago.
[Both sniffle]
Well, what if we helped?
[Coughs]
How could you possibly
accomplish such a task?
We'll go into the theatres,
we'll shush them with all our might.
Ice Bear will shush unshushable.
And we'll be completely
hidden wearing these suits!
- Where'd you get those?
- They're for our interpretive dance class.
This looks like it'll be tight.
Are they one-size-fits-all?
They're perfect!
These uniforms will strike fear
into the hearts of
noisemakers everywhere.
Finally, once again,
there's a chance to restore
order to the world of cinema.
Now go, and make the
East Bay Cinema 13 proud.
[Heroic music plays]
Listen up.
It's our duty to make
this theatre a safe haven
for movie lovers once
again for our children
and our children's children.
That was beautiful.
You should write poetry.
What makes you think I haven't?
But how can you do it?
You're just one man.
[Candy wrapper crinkles]
Shh.
[Cellphone rings]
Hello?
Shh!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Shh.
Shh.
[Gasps]
- Shh.
- I think flowers on a first date are perf
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Shh, shh.
Shh, shh.
[Chair squeaks]
Shh!
- Shh! Shh!
- Shh, shh, shh.
Shh!
Shh.
All: Yeah!
Wow, that was amazing.
It totally worked!
Ice Bear believes.
We did well, brothers, but
it's only the beginning.
Behind each one of those
doors is a new challenge
waiting to meet true shush-stice.
We just got to pick
the next one to shush.
Ooh! You guys! This movie!
It's the last one of the trilogy!
It's a love story between
two vampires and you
you guys look like you don't care.
Good idea, Panpan.
Let's split up.
Away!
Huh-huh-huh.
[Thud]
Shh!
Shh!
[Slurps] Shh!
[Coughs] Shh.
What? I was just coughing.
Shhhhhh.
Jared is so beautiful.
He's prettier than me.
Yeah, I know.
This is our year, Christopher.
[Menacingly] Jared.
- I hear there's more kissing in this mo
- Shh.
It is I.
Christopher.
Yet another cold night
alone and unloved.
But no matter what happens,
Christopher and Panda:
the rain will always be my friend.
- Girl: We want Jared!
- Shh!
[Cellphone rings, vibrates]
[Ringing, vibrating continues]
[Chair squeaks softly]
Shh.
[Heavy breathing]
Shh!
Shh!
I know to you I may
seem cold and unfeeling,
but it's only because deep
down, I yearn to be loved.
- Ugh.
That Jared is so phony.
- [Crying] Oh, Jared.
Shh.
Don't root for him.
He doesn't deserve eternal
love like Christopher does.
- Shh! Team Jared!
- Shh! Team Christopher.
Woman: Jared, you're the greatest.
[Indistinct conversations]
[Crying]
When you leave, my heart weeps.
Stay with me, my love.
[Women swooning] Oh, Jared.
You knock me off my feet.
[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]
- Shh!
- Ooh!
- [Grunts] Shh.
- Ugh, unbelievable.
Remember, Laura, if you ever drown,
I would dog-paddle
my way to your heart.
Oh, Jared.
You are so perfect for Laura.
Shh! No, Jared's evil,
Christopher is king.
Shh! No one is better than Jared.
Look at these abs.
Are these the abs of a villain?
[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]
Ah Ah Ah
- Christopher!
- Jared! Jared!
Ah
Ah Ah
[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]
- Jared! Jared! Jared! Jared!
- Ah-choo!
I know there's a button
to turn off the sound here.
[Cellphone rings, vibrates]
Out!
Get out.
This is how I feel about
your precious Jared!
[Audience gasps]
Team Christopher forever.
All: Boo! Boo!
Boo!
The rain will always be my friend.
[Glass crunching, cellphone powers down]
Get out! Everyone out!
[Panting]
[Chuckles]
Phew.
I think they got the message.
- How did it go for you, Panpan?
- I hate vampires.
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