Earl, time to play "Marry, Sleep with, or Kill: Diner edition.
" Ladies, booth one? Sleep with, sleep with, slept with.
Nice.
Okay, Max, the dude at table ten.
Is there a "Throw food in the cage and run" category? Hey, jump in.
We'playing "Marry, Sleep with, or Kill:" Diner edition.
" No, if I slept with anyone in this diner, I'd kill myself.
Even in a fictional scenario, I cannot permit myself to go there.
Girl, you'd take the fun out of the punch bowl full of cocaine.
Okay, fine.
Sleep with Earl, marry you.
Not us! Jeez.
What are you, a freak? I feel uncomfortable, Caroline.
Like, I don't know how to look at you anymore.
Now, I can only see you in a creepy lady tux.
You said it was just a game! I'm not in love with you.
Back off! It was just a joke, Earl.
The things we say in jest, darling.
The things we say in jest.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh And the Big Opening Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Oh, my God, look at the RSVP list for our opening party.
Max's Homemade Cupcakes is at capacity.
Hey, we might even be overbooked, because in my experience, even when guys say they're not going to come, they do.
Caroline, booth two has been waiting for service for ten minutes! And Han knows how frustrating that is, 'cause he's been waiting to be serviced for years.
Not that it's any of your business, Max, but I have a very active sex life.
So then, Han, will you be bringing a date tomorrow night? Ah, no.
You do understand that sex involves two people, right? And that one of those people has to be you? What is all this dirty talk? This is a diner, not a dirty talking place.
Sorry, Han, I know we still work here at night.
I'll go right over to the booth.
We were just talking about our big opening party.
All you ever talk about is your big opening.
Now who has the potty mouth? Max, I need your guest list names.
Oh, okay, I'm still waiting for them to confirm, so just put me down for ten.
Okay, but I need their names asap.
I'm running a tight door.
I got a bouncer from a local club to donate his time.
I told him it was a charity event for eczema.
What? We'll make a big donation when we're successful, but, for tomorrow, every now and then, scratch a little? Hi, everybody! I got great news.
What? You finally found the thing we lost in there? No.
I knew we should've tied a string on it.
No, look.
I got a fax from Poland.
My dream house is done! Isn't it amazing? It is amazing.
I haven't seen a fax in, like, five years.
Sophie, it's so pretty! Look at all this sweet gingerbread woodwork on the porch.
Oh, I'm so excited.
I'm going to be on Air Poland flight right after big party.
You are going to Poland? That's news.
And when were you going to tell me? Um, now, yeah.
Um, I'm going to be gone for a month.
Oh, okay.
It will be good to have some time away from the old ball and chain.
Yeah, he's not talking about me.
We use a ball and chain in our lovemaking.
That's the thing I can't find.
All right.
Okay, yeah.
Well, buh-bye.
I'll see you tomorrow night at my big going away party! Sophie, the party's for our cupcake business.
Oh, see, this is why I don't like you so much.
Guys, thanks again for donating your time.
It's fundraisers like this that will help put an end to undescended testicles.
Hi! I'd like to meet the owner of this awesome and totally cool cupcake shop? Oh, nevermind! That's me.
Max, you got a blow-out! Yeah, I'd figured I finally see what all the fuss about getting blown is.
Oh, hi, we're not quite ready for guests yet.
Girl, I'm your doorman, Nevel.
Oh, I'm confused.
I thought my doorman was-- Straight, white, and boring? He was.
Then, boring came down with the flu.
Now, you've got gay, black, and definitely not boring.
So what's the charity tonight? - Eczema.
- Undescended testicles.
People with eczema and undescended testicles.
Lord, child.
That is a cross to bear.
Get me the door list, and let's make those poor, itchy boys some money.
Another fake charity? You've got some balls, even if they aren't descended.
Max, we so lucked out.
Nothing says "successful party" like a bitchy, gay doorman! Give me your guest names.
I'll write them down.
Okay, fine.
Put down Tommy, Dylan, Robbie, Johnny-- Robbie and Johnny? Wait, Max, are these all your ex-boyfriends? Perhaps.
Max, the invited guests were all supposed to be business contacts.
See, this is why I didn't tell you sooner.
You're a control freak.
And for the record, these guys have all had contact with my business.
You're using our launch party to get back at ex-boyfriends? Uh, yeah! That's what success is for, to say "suck it" to people who dumped you.
"See my blown-out hair? Suck it! "See my cool cupcake shop? Suck it! See these in this blouse? You wish you could suck it.
" And here, it is not just boyfriends on my list.
I also invited the lady from Staples who gives me attitude.
She can suck it too.
Fine, but how is inviting Johnny and his new wife a victory? Oh, like this.
"Hi, Mrs.
Johnny.
Nice to meet you.
" You got him, but I got these "And all this, so suck it.
" I'm not so sure this is healthy.
Are you kidding me? This is the healthiest thing I've done in my life.
I even thought about inviting my mother to come and suck it, but then she'd realize maybe I didn't commit suicide two years ago like my note said.
I'm about ready to open.
Shouldn't we be putting up some testicle banners, or scrotum posters, or something? Also, there's a cute blonde boy out here asking for you that I'm about to eat alive.
热门英文电视剧
老友记 Friends摩登家庭 Modern Family绝望主妇 Desperate Housewives破产姐妹 2 Broke Girls权利的游戏 Game of Thrones黑镜 Black Mirror爱,死亡和机器人 Love, Death & Robots杀死伊芙 Killing Eve第二十二条军规 Catch-22神盾局特工 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.豆瓣高分英文剧
瑞克和莫蒂 Rick and Morty老友记 Friends火线 The Wire怪诞小镇 Gravity Falls探险活宝 Adventure Time with Finn and Jake无耻之徒(美版) Shameless飞出个未来 Futurama欢乐一家亲 Frasier 成长的烦恼 Growing Pains兄弟连 Band of Brothers飞哥与小佛 Phineas and Ferb风骚律师 Better Call Saul少年正义联盟 Young Justice亿万 Billions咱们裸熊 We Bare Bears副总统 Veep鬼屋欢乐送 Ghosts伦敦生活 Fleabag绅士杰克 Gentleman公关 Flack梅尔罗斯 Patrick MelroseCopyright © 2021 TaiCiShe.com 版权所有。 联系我们