1
Table for two.
And don't worry, he just went.
So did the guy at booth three.
(laughs)
Max, that cop has a drug-sniffing dog.
So, it was nice knowing you.
(gasps)
What's that, now?
- You're moving out?
- Max, put that away!
It smells like Willie Nelson's
bandana drawer in here.
Max, have you seen the olicepay ogday?
Uh, that pot was too strong.
There's a chipmunk talking to me.
Heavens, that's a drug-sniffing dog!
Earl will spend the rest
of his life behind bars.
So, like, two weeks?
Earl, heads up.
Narc dog at 1:00.
Or it might be 6:00.
But it's definitely 420.
So, she can bring that dog in here,
but I can't bring
my emotional support hooker.
I can't watch a dog
tear Earl to pieces.
Hey there, fella.
Sit.
All right, now give me that paw.
Now here's what I got for you.
There you go.
I have a way with dogs.
Well, my marijuana biscuits do.
That's why I call them Hush Puppies.
Hey, Han, if it's cool, me and the dog
are gonna go see the
new Star Wars movie.
(Peter Bjorn and John)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(cash register bell dings)
Max, guess what Bobby and I
are doing tomorrow night?
Where have I been dying to go?
Besides a doctor's office
that's not in a Chipotle.
Sorry, Dr.
Pizza Hut
has a waiting list.
Hey, everybody!
Oh, I'm worried that
Barbara's not smart.
Yeah, she doesn't even
return my e-mails.
I think she has Oleg's DNA.
So do most of the chairs in here.
That's why I bring my chair
from home every day.
I mean, it's awkward on the subway,
but I don't wanna sit
on those seats either.
Sophie, don't blame me.
My family's very smart.
We won Family Feud in Ukraine,
and it takes intelligence
to kill another family.
Who are we kidding?
You're a gorgeous moron.
But what are we gonna
do with a dumb baby?
Maybe we should ask Han.
He's a dumb baby.
Hey, don't call Han a dumb baby.
He managed to pull that stupid vest
over his giant potato
head all by himself.
Nope.
I had to help him.
Starting to think the Splenda
packet I came out for
wasn't worth it.
- Hey, gorgeous.
- Hello, yourself, beautiful.
Bobby, great news guess what
we're doing tomorrow night?
Tomorrow night? I can't.
I have a hobby that I
haven't told you about
because I don't think
it's something you'll like.
Oh, so is your hobby getting to
the point of a story quickly?
It's definitely not acknowledging
my new Caesar salad recipe.
Still waiting.
Still nauseous.
Well, I bet you Bobby's
into doing dead people.
Yeah, he just has that look.
Bobby, for the love of God,
just tell me.
Whatever hobby you have,
it can't be worse than that.
Fine, Caroline, I'm just
gonna come out and say it.
I like to bowl.
And you're sure you don't wanna
go with the dead people thing?
But bowling's just a hobby, right?
Something you only do
Every Tuesday night.
I'm on a team.
I have a
locker at the alley.
And that tattoo I told
you was the moon,
it's a bowling ball.
Why didn't you tell me?
We don't talk about me a lot.
I thought it would be more important
to tell you about my nut
allergy when I had the floor.
You have a nut allergy?
Bowler? Nice!
I was on a bowling team in juvie.
We were called The Girls Who Escaped
when the Guards Took Us
to the Bowling Alley.
That'd be hard to put on a shirt.
Oh, we didn't wear shirts.
Caroline, I knew bowling
wouldn't be your thing.
You don't pronounce any
of the Ns in Au Bon Pain.
That's because it's
(in French accent) Au Bon Pain.
We can have separate things.
Bobby, you know what?
Part of being in a relationship
is being open to trying new things.
And since I'm not ready
to try being on top yet,
I'm gonna come watch you bowl tomorrow.
Really? Okay, great.
Hey, Max, you wanna come too?
Got some cute guys on my bowling team.
Well, just some guys
that aren't that fat.
It's a bowling team.
Beer-based recreation? Men with curves?
Are we going to a
bowling alley or heaven?
Max, I'm ready to go bowling.
You look like you're
ready for a greaser
to feel you up at Make Out Point.
I've waited long enough
to have a boyfriend.
I can learn to like anything.
I mean, it's not like it's bowling.
(gasps) Oh, my God, it's bowling!
Well, I loved it.
But I hung up my back brace
after I bowled a 300.
I wanted to go out on top,
like Rob Schneider.
(knock at door)
And from what I hear,
apparently not you.
Hi, girls.
Yeah, Barbara's even dumber
than I thought.
Yeah, she had a play date
with the baby next door.
And he can read.
Jimmy?
He's 37.
He's a little person.
And a tax attorney.
Well, I did think it was odd
that he lived alone.
We're taking Barbara bowling.
Between the flashing lights
and the fist fights,
nothing's more stimulating
for a baby's brain
than a bowling alley.
How about a book?
On bowling?
So, this is a bowling alley.
This actually isn't so bad.
(bowling pins clatter)
What was that?
The sound of people going nowhere.
Hey!
If you're here for the
sock hop, it was 40 years ago.
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