1
[alarm beeping]
[slurping]
Ahh.
[touch tones]
[phone line ringing]
Mayo's Voice: Hello.
You've reached
the Davis residence.
We've moved to Los Angeles.
If you want to
buy our house,
please call my mom,
Muriel,
care of the Alamo Motel.
Or just leave a message.
- [beep]
- Mayo: Hey, house.
I just thought I'd
call and say hi.
Mourning doves,
I know you're eavesdropping,
so I'll say hi to you, too.
Remember, don't eat Horace.
I know he's just a slug,
but he's a pretty good guy.
Sailor rubber ducky,
sorry you
fell out of the box.
I'll come back
to get you soon.
I like it here.
But the truth is,
when I first got to the Alamo,
I wasn't so sure.
Neither was mom.
When she took the job
at the motel,
I don't think she knew
how hard it would be.
And I guess I didn't know
how strange it would be.
There is this girl,
Calamine Jones,
she wears a sailor suit.
And she hated me,
but I didn't know why.
Then there's this
business man kind of guy.
His name is Mr.
Cavendish.
He likes playing
this weird game.
It's just weird.
[whispering]
I often dream of otters.
I'm sorry.
I really don't have time
for the game right now,
Mr.
Cavendish
[sighs, whispers]
I often dream of otters.
I often dream of otters.
[louder]
I often dream of otters!
I often dream of otters!
[shouting]
I often dream of otters!
I often dream of otters!
I often dream of otters!
You win again,
Mr.
Cavendish.
Mayo: And then there's
this kid Lance,
who, I gotta say,
was a bit of a creepster.
Oh.
Hey, Lance.
You're up early.
Yes.
Mother and I are going
to donate to the saliva bank.
Is that like
a blood bank?
[spitting]
Yeah,
but for saliva.
Good morning.
Come on, Lance,
we want to beat the lines.
They pay $10 a quart.
Lancelot Arthur Kincaid.
[sighs]
Mayo: I wasn't sure
how I fit in here,
or even if I wanted to.
Then the other day,
I heard this song.
[phone rings]
Muriel: Welcome to the Alamo,
L.
A.
's best kept secret.
We have an ostrich?
I'm gonna have to
put you on hold
for just one tiny second.
Someone left him
in the middle of the night.
People see a movie about
some super cool animal,
and they decide
they gotta get one.
Then they say, "Hey,
it's not super cool at all.
"It's a nasty, freaky,
fuzzy land bird.
"
And then they say,
"Hey, let's just
"drop this thing off
at the Alamo,
"and that crazy stray animal lady
will take care of it.
"
Not this time.
This monster's going to
an animal shelter
where it belongs.
Just don't name it,
Mom.
Whenever you name them,
you never get rid of them.
Right, Frank?
Don't worry.
So, what's up
with you today?
Well, I just saw this girl
drive by on a birthday float.
She was wearing this crown,
and she was sitting on
a purple throne.
And then she saw me.
And waved.
It was like--
And then I was like--
And-- and then
she threw taffy at me.
Okay.
Yeah, so I was wondering
if I could, you know,
head off to go
look around for her.
Nice try.
But you're always saying how
I need to make new friends here.
Well, what's wrong
with Lance?
He's selling his own spit.
That Calamine Jones
seems sort of interesting.
She doesn't talk.
I'm pretty sure
she hates my guts.
[tapping on glass]
Well, I can't just let you
wander off into the city.
And I'm too busy to
drive you myself.
Nice ostrich.
Maybe Candy
can drive me.
- Who?
- I met this girl.
He waved at a girl.
She waved at me first.
Let me see her wave.
Your wave.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can
drive him, Miss Davis.
It's fine.
I gotta go out, anyways.
This looks very important.
Please, Mom?
I gotta find her.
[mouthing]
All right,
on two conditions.
One: I get to check in with you
any time I want.
Done.
What's
the second thing?
"Attention,
Los Angeles.
"This is a special
announcement.
"If you recently saw
the hit movie 'The Awesome Ostrich,'
"please, do not go out
and buy an ostrich.
"They're not super cool,
they're not house pets--"
This is an ostrich,
people.
They do not mess around.
I'm gonna tell you
a little story.
I once saw an ostrich
take on a grizzly bear
in a cage match throw down.
And guess who won.
Anybody?
Hint: Not the bear!
Not the bear.
[chuckling]
You're welcome,
city of Los Angeles.
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