iously on the new neighbor oh,my god.
katherine.
turned out to be an old friend of susan's - and that pine tree in the back yard - it's my pride and joy.
who had a problem making new friends.
oh,it absolutely kills me to have to ask you to cut it down.
her daughter couldn't recall the past.
- i'm julie's mom.
- who's julie again? your best friend when you were little.
- but her husband had news for susan.
- you're pregnant.
- lynette revealed her condition.
- i have canr.
gaby and carlos began a secret affair.
- can you get away tonight? - are you serious? and edie uncovered a secret of another sort.
why didn't you ever tell me about your offshore bank account-- the one with $10 million in it? the great crime wave hit wisteria lane on a tuesday afternoon.
that's when residents found their barbecues upended their clean laundry trampled and their skateboards missing.
naturally,everyone began to ask who could be responsible for such carnage.
the answer lay in the home of a neighbor who,20 minutes earlier,had been engaging in an altogether different type of crime.
oh,i gotta get back.
i told edie i was just going for a jog.
do i look sweaty enough for a 5-mile run? yeah.
unfortunately,it's my sweat.
mmm.
mmm.
when are you gonna dump her? it's complicated,okay? besides,i don't see you in any big hurry to dump victor.
generally speaking, women don't leave their husbands for guys who have girlfriends.
just boot the bitch.
what are you afraid of? hey,i am not afraid of-- oh,my god! what the hell's the matter with you? edie! gaby,you in there? okay.
one second! edie! what brings you here? i'm looking for carlos.
he went for a run,but it was hours ago.
sorry.
haven't seen him.
really? because ida greenberg said that she thought she saw him on your porch.
uh,that's impossible,because he's there! there he is! what? carlos! he's at your house.
- oh,he just let himself in.
- oh.
there you go.
he's home.
okay.
well,thanks.
you told her i was at home.
so? so i'm not at home.
i'm here.
what the hell am i supposed to do? edie! edie,wait! wait,wait,wait! don't go! don't go! why? uh,you,uh,have a birthday coming up, and,uh,i don't know what to get ya.
or maybe a coffeepot or scented hangers or a nice clock radio.
gaby,i don't have time for this.
why don't you just surprise me? uh,wait,but don't go! i-i need a little more guidance! damn it,boys! you should not be screwing around in the streets! somebody's gonna get hurt! carlos! can you believe this? someone broke into our house.
oh,my god.
and so ended the great crime wave on wisteria lane.
no one ever found out who was responsible ew.
honey,you're all sweaty.
go clean up.
because it was an inside job.
you will never see despair here or rage.
you will never see the tiniest bit of regre you see,the people who live here have learned there is one sure way of hiding their secretsfrom their neighbors.
that's why,in the suburbs, there is nothing more deceptive than a smile.
so what did julie say,exactly? she said dylan's not the same girl.
not the same girl like she's changed, or not the same girl because she's been replaced by a robot? i know it sounds weird,but julie says dylan does not remember anything about living here.
well,maybe she blocked it out.
did something bahappen to her when she was young? i'm not sure.
but there was somethingodd about the way they left.
so if it isn't the early morning gossip brigade.
who are we dishing today? uh,susan.
she's standing right there.
oh,my god.
have you been there this whole time? anyway,i wanted to talk to you girls about lynette.
what about her? well,since she's been so tired from chemo, i thought it'd be nice if we did something for her, like bring her lunch? - uh,that sounds great.
- yeah,let's do it.
um,gaby,why don't you bring your vegetable lasagna? susan,you do beverages, and,uh,katherine, why don't you bring a simple green salad? i'd rather bring dessert.
oh,no need,dear.
i always bring dessert.
oh,i'm thinking my lemon meringue pie.
oh,yum.
yeah,here's the thing.
the movers lost my salad bowl.
my pie plates,on the other hand-- will not be needed.
as i said,i always bring dessert.
i know.
i will lend you my salad bowl.
you really don't wanna miss bree's pie.
it's perfect.
who am i to argue with perfection? oh,sorry.
it's justsomething has been driving me crazy.
now you're perfect.
d-does it hurt? it's a little uncomfortable,but i'm fine.
take a card.
hey,i told you i'm collecting queens.
pay attention.
you remember we played this when you were in labor with parker? i'll never forget what a trouper you were.
well,let's not compose my eulogy just yet.
i'm still troupin'.
take a card.
right.
it's funny.
we played cards on our honeymoon the day that it rained.
do you remember that? we--we lit a fire-- you're doing it again.
sorry.
hey,i told you i'm collecting queens.
shoot.
that's right.
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