Previously on desperate housewives does this relationship have a future? Can't we just keep Going the way we are? Jackson left.
Orson's lying to me again.
Bree made a decision.
So i think i have to divorce him.
Karl signed up.
Karl, what are you doing here? - Well, i just enrolled evan.
- Wow.
And susan confessed.
Mike and i got in a car accident.
Mike was driving, right? That's what we said, But it wasn't true.
He took the blame for me.
on this street, The bargaining begins at sunrise an old woman offers a paperboy a generous tip If he'll throw the paper onto her porch a wife tells her husband she'll make his favorite dinner If he'll bring home roses a man tells his neighbor he'll take in his garbage cans The day she finally mows her lawn.
Yes, on wisteria lane, Everyone knows how to bargain-- Absolutely everyone.
I don't want oatmeal.
Can i have pancakes? Katherine's not a short order cook, buddy.
If she made oatmeal for breakfast, we're having oatmeal.
I tell you what, m.
J.
If you finish just half of it, I will make candied apples for your sleepover.
I love candy apples.
She's letting you off easy.
You should thank her.
Thank you, katherine.
You are so welcome, you sweet thing.
Dad, are you gonna marry katherine? um That's, um i don't know.
Why not? Oh, well, oh, because we haven't talked about marriage.
Why not? M.
J.
, you're being rude.
Oh, i'm not offended.
Don't you wanna marry katherine? well i love her.
She's absolutely fantastic.
So why don't you marry her? Can you help me out here? Are you kidding? Buddy, um, when it comes to marriage, The truth is wow.
Would you look at the time? I'm late for work.
we're gonna have to talk about this later.
Coward.
You got that right.
How'd i do? You were great.
But he didn't answer me.
Doesn't matter.
Issue's on the table.
Yes, on this street, The negotiating begins at sunrise, And it doesn't end here's the ice cream i promised you.
Until someone gets exactly what they want.
Desperate Housewives s5e21 Walter bergen was a divorce lawyer, And the women who hired him always had something to say About the men they were divorcing.
He's always talking to his grandmother, Who died six years ago.
He spends all his money on hookers, Who may or may not be women.
He says he needs more money for the children, And by "children," I mean racehorses.
Yes, walter bergen thought he had heard it all Until the day when one of his clients actually said my husband is a decent man, and i want to do right by him.
Women who seek my services rarely take that attitude.
Welli like to think of myself as a good person.
I'm sure you are.
And i wouldn't worry about your husband.
The income he'll derive From his half of the catering business alone should-- Wait.
I'm not planning on giving him half.
It's my business.
Which you started after you were married.
That entitles him to half.
I-I may have overstated things When i described my husband as a decent man.
He actually has a wide variety of psychological problems.
Mrs.
Hodge, it's state law.
What do you want me to say? I want you to say that for $300 an hour, You have some lawyer tricks up your sleeve To help me protect my business.
Surely you're not asking me to do something criminal? Mrs.
Hodge, didn't you say You like to think of yourself as a good person? Well, clearly, i like to think of myself As a rich person even more.
Oh! Full house.
Bree takes the high.
Gaby gets the low.
- Split the pot.
- Oh, i hate splitting the pot.
Well, that's the rule.
There's nothing you can do about it.
So stop bitching.
Well, you can't talk to me like that.
I am the wife of fairview's latino businessman of the year.
- Hey! - So he finally won? yeah.
There's gonna be a huge dinner, And we're taking a picture with the mayor and his wife.
Oh, not necessarily.
I hear they're getting divorced, And it's gonna get ugly.
really? How do you know? The wife hired The sleaziest, most unethical divorce lawyer in town.
Oh.
Who--Who's that? My ex-Husband.
Oh, right.
Karl's a divorce lawyer.
Yeah, and a total shark.
The worst thing about our divorce Was that i couldn't hire him to represent me.
But i thought you just split everything done the middle.
Oh, not with karl.
By the time he's done finding loopholes and hiding assets, There's nothing left to split.
You don't say.
Hey, ladies.
Uh, lynette, ahem.
It's getting kinda late.
Are you kicking us out, tom? Uh, no.
No, just reminding lynette That it's, uh, ten minutes till midnight, Which means ten minutes till tomorrow.
I got it.
I'll be right up.
What was that about? Tom and i are reading this book that suggests Couples make a pact to have sex every night for a month.
Let me guess.
Written by a guy? Was his name carlos solis? we've been having some problems, So the theory is it creates intimacy and brings you closer.
- Is it working? - I've gotta say it is.
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