Previously on Desperate Housewives.
There was flirtation.
Here's my card.
If you see anything suspicious, I want you to call me.
Or even if you don't.
There was confrontation.
After all those years that I supported you, took a back seat to your career, you couldn't do the same for me.
There was a fight.
Leave me alone! And there were consequences.
Susan Delfino was charitable to a fault.
She just couldn't resist lending a hand.
There wasn't a lost pet she could ignore, a girl in uniform she could refuse, or a struggling artist she could say "no" to.
So when it came to a neighbor in need Oh, my God! Paul, what happened? Susan was only too eager to help.
I started having chest pains, passed out, came to and dialed 911.
They've been running tests all night.
Well, I'm gonna be here for you till they figure it out.
I brought you these, magazines, water.
You're unbelievable.
I've got a street full of neighbors, and the only one who comes to see me is the woman I yelled at.
Sorry about that.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't have asked you about getting my house back.
I sounded like a vulture.
Mr.
Young, we've got your test results.
Could you excuse us for a moment, Susan? Oh, yeah.
I'll wait outside.
Well, good news.
Your EKG came back normal.
So it's not a heart attack? It's not a heart attack.
It says here you've been experiencing dizziness, nausea, stomach cramps.
That's right.
What do you think it is? I think, unless you've been poisoned or you're pregnant, it's probably just stress.
Poisoned? Yeah, I remember this case when I was an intern.
A man came in with the same symptoms.
Turns out his wife was putting antifreeze in his oatmeal.
Little bit every day so it wasn't obvious.
But eventually it killed him.
Good lesson for all of us.
Don't piss off the old lady.
What'd he say? He thinks it's stress.
Just stress? That's a relief.
So you must be starving.
What can I make you for dinner tonight? Yes, Susan Delfino just couldn't resist lending a hand to a neighbor in trouble.
I'm sure anything you bring will be a huge help to me.
Which was about to cause her some trouble of her own.
No matter how secure we are, we all experience moments of dread.
It may be just before we open our credit card bill or hand over a note from our teacher.
Or step on the scale after a week away from the gym.
Yes, we all experience moments of dread.
And sometimes, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Daddy's home.
How are my Shh! "Bloody Stranger Two?" She can't watch this.
Daddy, no! This is about some stranger who comes to town and starts murdering slutty teenagers.
Yeah, it's a good lesson for when she's older.
Don't be a slutty teenager.
Gabby, this is way too violent.
Oh, the kid's used to violence.
You've seen me make her eat carrots.
Besides, Juanita knows the movie's fake.
Right, honey? Duh.
There's no way one spear gun could shoot through three heads in real life.
Exactly.
Two maybe.
Maybe.
Hey Oh, Carlos, relax.
Juanita's tough.
She'll be fine.
He's out there! Calm down, sweetie.
Who's out there? The bloody stranger.
He was standing on our lawn looking at our house.
The "bloody stranger.
" Nice.
No Honey, we talked about this, remember? How it's all pretend? Can I sleep in here with you guys? You can sleep with her.
I'm gonna sleep in your bed.
Celia's in my bed.
Then I'll sleep in Celia's bed.
She wet her bed.
Come on in.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Look who's home in time for dinner.
Yeah, well, I couldn't miss spaghetti night.
Spaghetti night's Tuesday, Dad.
You made it home for taco night.
Taco night? Ay, caramba! Oh! No.
I'm kidding.
Hey, your mom made a lovely dinner.
So the least that I could do was bring home dessert.
Plane tickets? That's right.
I planned the family vacation this year.
You did what? Seven days, six nights at the Royal Kailua Spa and Resort in Hawaii! Oh, my God.
I've never been there.
Dad, well done, sir.
Come on, baby! Yes! You bought the tickets without talking to me first? Okay, not exactly "Wow, Tom, you're the greatest husband in the world" But I told you I already planned our vacation, just like I've been doing for the last 16 years.
Well, there you go, you deserve a year off.
Wait until you see the water slides at this place! Cool! Yeah.
Yeah, cool.
Except I just spent two weeks mapping out a route for a camping trip.
And I put a deposit down on an RV.
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