## [Whistling]
[Pencil Scribbling Rapidly]
## [Whistling Continues]
[Man Narrating]
This is a story of boy meets girl.
The boy, Tom Hansen
of Margate, New Jersey,
grew up believing that
he'd never truly be happy...
until the day he met "the one."
This belief stemmed from early exposure
to sad British pop music...
and a total misreading
of the movie The Graduate.
[Dustin Hoffman On TV]
Elaine! Elaine!
[Narrator] The girl, Summer Finn
of Shinnecock 'Michigan'
did not share this belief.
Since the disintegration
of her parents 'marriage'
she'd only loved two things.
The first was her long dark hair.
The second was how easily
she could cut it off...
and feel nothing.
Tom meets Summer on January 8.
He knows almost immediately
she's who he's been searching for.
This is a story of boy meets girl.
But you should know up front,
this is not a love story.
# They made a statue of us #
# And put it on a mountaintop #
# Now tourists come and stare at us #
# Blow bubbles with their gum #
# Take photographs of fun #
# Have fun #
# They'll name a city after us #
# And later say it's all our fault #
# Then they'll give us a talking to #
# 'Cause they've got years of experience #
## [Vocalizing]
# Living in a den of thieves #
# Rummaging for answers in the pages #
## [Vocalizing]
# Living in a den of thieves #
# And it's contagious #
# And it's contagious ##
## [Vocalizing]
[Beeps]
[Buzzes]
We didn't know
who else to call.
It's Amanda Heller
all over again.
You did the right thing.
[Sighs]
Now, where is he?
[Plate Shatters]
Thomas.
Rachel.
What are you doing here?
- I'm here to help you.
- Help me how?
First, put down the plate.
Drink this.
- What is that?
- Vodka.
Um, does Mom know
that you're here?
- 'Cause it's probably past 10:00.
- [Sighs] Don't worry about it.
Just start from the beginning
and tell us what happened.
[Tom Narrating]
Things were going so well.
Then what?
I think we should
stop seeing each other.
- Just like that?
- Just like that.
- Did she say why?
- I mean, this thing... What are we doing?
I mean, is this normal?
Norm- I-I don't know. I don't care.
I'm happy. Aren't you happy?
- You're happy?
- You're not?
- All we do is argue.
- That is bullshit.
Maybe she was just in a bad mood.
Yeah, maybe like a- a hormonal thing.
- P.M.S.?
- What do you know about P.M.S.?
- More than you, Tom.
- Then what happened?
This can't come as
a total surprise to you.
I mean, we've been like Sid and Nancy
for months now.
Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy...
seven times with a kitchen knife.
I-I mean, we have some disagreements,
but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious.
No. I'm Sid.
Oh, so I'm Nancy?
Let's just eat,
and we'll talk about it later.
Mmm. That is good.
I'm really glad we did this.
I love these pancakes.
What?
Tom, don't go.
You're still my best friend!
- Jesus.
- You've broken up with girls before.
Yes.
And girls have broken up
with you before.
- This is different.
- Why?
'Cause it's Summer.
So you'll-
you'll meet somebody new.
Point is, you're the best guy I know.
You'll get over her.
I think it's kind of like how they say.
There's, uh-
There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
- No.
- They- They say that.
Well, they're lying.
I don't want to get over her.
I want to get her back.
[Man] Maybe playing it safe
is the wrong approach.
The nuclear family is dead,
and we need a new holiday
that recognizes that.
May 21st.
Other Mother's Day.
Thank you.
I'd say we've got some potential here.
What do you think, Hansen?
Could you write up
some prototypes for these?
Uh, Mr. Vance, there's a telephone call
for you on line three.
Oh. Thank you.
Uh, everyone, this is Summer,
my new assistant.
Summer just moved here from-
- Michigan.
- Right. Michigan. Right.
Uh, Summer, everyone.
Everyone, Summer.
Excuse me. I have to take this.
It's nice to meet you all.
[Narrator] There's only two kinds
of people in the world.
There's women, and there's men.
Summer Finn was a woman.
Height, average. Weight, average.
Shoe size, slightly above average.
For all intents and purposes,
Summer Finn, just another girl.
Except she wasn't.
To wit, in 1998,
Summer quoted a song by the Scottish band
Belle and Sebastian...
in her high school yearbook.
"Color my life
with the chaos of trouble."
This spike in Michigan
sales of their album...
The Boy with the Arab Strap...
continues to puzzle industry analysts.
Summer's employment at the Daily Freeze
during her sophomore year...
coincided with an inexplicable
212% increase in revenue.
[Dings]
Every apartment Summer rented...
was offered at an average rate
of 9.2% below market value.
And her round-trip commute to work...
averaged 18.4 double takes per day.
It was a rare quality,
this "Summer effect."
Rare, and yet something every
post adolescent male has encountered...
at least once in their lives.
For Tom Hansen to find it now
in a city of 400,000 offices,
91,000 commercial buildings
and 3.8 million people-
well, that could only
be explained by one thing:
Fate.
[Man]
Dude, I hear she's a bitch.
Really?
Yeah. Patel tried to talk
to her in the copy room.
She's totally not having it.
Maybe she was just in a hurry.
And maybe she's an uppity,
"better than everyone" superskank.
Damn.
I know. She's pretty hot.
That sucks.
Why is it pretty girls...
think they can treat people like crap
and get away with it?
Centuries of reinforcement.
[Scoffs] You know what? Screw her.
I don't care.
If she wants to be that way, fine.
[Elevator Bell Dings]
## [Headphones Rock]
## [Continues]
[Faint] # Driving in your car #
[Elevator Whirring]
# Oh, please don't drop me home #
Smiths?
Hi.
- I love the Smiths.
- Sorry?
I said I love the Smiths.
[Stammers]
You have-
You have good taste in music.
- You like the Smiths?
- Yeah.
[Singing Along] # To die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die #
I love 'em.
[Elevator Bell Dings]
Holy shit.
There you go.
Have another piece.
- Ah.
- Drinks?
- Arthur, did you get a piece?
- Thanks.
- Want one?
- Yeah.
- Want one?
- Mmm.
- Summer, right?
- Oh. Yeah.
- Smiths fan.
- Yeah. Tom.
Want some, uh, uh-
It's not champagne.
I don't know what it is.
Sure.
So, how's it goin'?
- Pretty good.
- You just moved here, right?
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