Just a quick bit of housekeeping.
I need you to confirm
that you picked box number 12.
- Yes. - Yes.
Before the show began, it was sealed
by the independent adjudicator who
seals all 22 boxes and is the only
person who knows where the money is.
Good luck.
APPLAUSE
Who's picking the first five boxes?
I am.
For those of you that haven't seen
the show, you're looking for blues,
You're looking to get
five blues in a row.
This. Andy came up with this earlier.
He said to me, "This will work."
He knows all about the horses.
He runs a book every year
at the Edinburgh Festival on the...
Don't say that,
because that's illegal!
LAUGHTER
Seven. I'd like to go with Matt Ford.
Even though he lives with Jon,
I'm following this plan.
Now, Matt.
Yes, mate.
You're friends with Jon, right?
I am, yes!
How long have you known each other?
About eight years.
Eight years!
He's good to live with. I mean, it's
a bit like living with a rescue cat.
He finds it hard to trust and if you
touch him, he'll take your face off.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
I don't know...
The integrity of Sean's
system rests on this.
If this is not blue,
this system is gone.
Not only does this have to be
the penny, but you have to kiss him
when it's the penny,
which I am very excited about.
Are you aware of the penny kiss
on Deal Or No Deal?
When you get the penny
you have to kiss the person.
How long for?
Two or three seconds.
Can I cradle them?
You can cradle them.
OK, Matt. OK, get us started,
let's open box number 7.
Good luck to everyone
playing at home.
LAUGHTER
GROANING
3,000.
I would just say
your system is bullshit.
LAUGHTER
I can't even see 2.
Oh, it's another of your friends.
Let's go with Mia.
So Mia, do you have a feeling about
your box, a feeling what's in there?
I don't...
LAUGHTER
We're going to be using
the term "box" a lot here.
Can we just please get over it?
The box.
The box.
A feeling about "the" box,
not "your" box.
OK, Mia, let's try
and find a blue for Jon.
Good luck.
APPLAUSE
500 gone, 3,000 gone.
13 next?
This is your baby.
Katherine.
This is Katherine Ryan, comedian.
Friend of 8 Out Of 10 Cats.
I think you've made
the right choice.
Right.
Let's open box 13.
We're hoping for blue here.
APPLAUSE
It's red but it's
the lowest of the reds.
Getting rid of them reds.
That is not the object of the game.
You've got three so far.
Three reds, one blue.
Right, OK.
What's the next box?
On here, it is 19.
Where's 19?
Hello.
Nick Helm. Hello, Nick.
Hello.
Got a good feeling about that box
there in front of you?
Don't really care.
LAUGHTER
Good luck, Sean.
Thanks, Nick.
Good luck, Jon.
Thanks, Nick.
Fuck you, Jimmy.
GROANING
The first big...
10,000 gone.
The next number in the system
is number five.
Another one of Jon's friends.
I'm just delighted
how many friends I have.
John, you used
to live with Jon, right?
How is it living
with Jon Richardson?
He's particular.
He's the only person
who's ever billed me for cleaning.
LAUGHTER
It's not like that was day one when
we lived together that I decided...
I was sick of tidying the house
and I thought, "Do you know what?
"If we had a cleaner
they would get paid for this."
The important thing about it is
it changed absolutely nothing!
I did not get paid
and the house did not remain tidy.
Tears are a natural cleaning agent.
OK, let's open box number 5 and see.
We're hoping for blue here.
GROANING
20,000 gone.
Interestingly, that's how much you
owe me for cleaning, as well.
That's painful, isn't it?
Shall we see what
the banker has to say?
Shall we see what Brian thinks?
You're trying to demystify him
by calling him Brian.
Yes. It's like Voldemort.
PHONE RINGS
Oh, one-nil to you, Brian!
LAUGHTER
Hello, Brian.
Seven years you've chatted
to no-one but Noel Edmonds,
you poor, poor man.
It's like the Bat Phone, isn't it?
The Penguin has taken over.
His job as the banker
on Deal Or No Deal
is to get inside people's heads.
Sean, you're not worried about.
He's easy to read,
predictable, one level.
A lot of people have made
that mistake in the past.
Brian.
Show business is littered
with fools like you.
You're worried about Jon.
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