触不可及 Intouchables(2011)【完整台词】

Everything's fine.

Yvonne? I'm ready.

Good. I'll be here in a minute.

Well, everything's ready.

You just have to serve.

Call me if anything's wrong.

- Call me, ok?

- Yeah.

So if you're ready, I'm gonna serve your meal.

Take these scrubs off.

I feel like in an asylum.

- Alright.

- Do you have a cigarette?

No. I don't smoke.

Not anymore.

To be honest I gave up recently...

and you should do the same.

Even if you're not exercising or something...

it's better for your lungs, your breath.

You're not going to eat.

What the hell!

Come on. Be careful.

I'm sorry.

- Good morning, sir.

- What?

It's the person you asked for...

For the head massage.

It's Mr Jacquet.

Good morning.

Get out!

Leave me alone.

Leave!

- Is it my fault?

- No, non.

He got up on the wrong side of the bed.

'got up on... '.

Idiot.

Moron.

Driss Vassary?

- Yes

- It's your turn.

You've only had your driving license for a month.

Yes, but I've been driving for longer.

I mean I drove in private ways,

out of the roads.

Parking lots...

I'm a good driver.

I read your file.

In your personal evaluation you only

wrote one word: pragmatic.

Yes.

It is important.

You forgot to mention another important

aspect in our company.

Did I?

You could just take the time

to read the poster line.

Hey, that's a twelve feet rhyme.

Sorry?

You-could-just-take-the-time

To-read-the-pos-ter-line

- That wasn't on purpose.

- Your catchphrase is 'Just in time'.

Oh that's why you put Dali's watches..

A little artistic touch.

Maybe...

- You like paintings?

- I do.

- I like Goya.

- She's alright...

...didn't sing much since Pandi-Panda.

[Chantal Goya is a french children's singer]

Yes.

I'm coming.

I'm on my way.

- Are you ok?

- Yes.

Leave me alone.

Do you need water?

A wet towel?

Get out.

- I mean I can...

- Leave me alone.

There.

- Thanks, dude.

- You're welcome.

- Have a nice week-end.

- You too.

- What's going on?

- He's not doing well.

- Where is he now?

- He was in the garden earlier.

Ok.

So...

What's going on?

What the deal with the beard?

Freud?

Abraham Lincoln?

An old dude, anyway.

Victor Hugo.

You need a good shaving.

Take care of yourself.

It was time I came back.

I'll be here in a minute.

Now what?

Now you let me decide.

Don't you like that?

A sharp fast cut would relieve me.

It's good to see you're doing better.

I did my best.

Open your eyes.

Oh my god.

It's terrible.

- It's really bad.

- No! It looks good.

No.

Look...

leather jacket, without sleeves.

A Village People-like cap.

I know!

Jose Bove.

You look exactly like him.

Really weird. An orthodox priest or something.

- The pope.

- Exactly, the pope.

Come on.

He's crazy.

What are you up to?

- I'm scared.

- No you'll see, it's awesome.

I look like my grandfather.

Really?

Oh Philippe, the moustache is turning me on.

What is happening to me?

- Ok, I'll shave the rest.

- Thank you.

Alright.

No. Please. No.

No.

No

Nein!

- Nein is what you mean.

- I'm not ok with that.

Philippe, ach.

So I'm your toy now.

You know you're mental right?

You have to get help.

Don't you feel like invading countries right now?

Ok, we're getting there...

just shave the rest.

You think it's funny?

Yes, I'm thinking about tetraplegic nazis.

How could they do the sign?

Ok, now you had fun. Shave it.

Heil.

- Hello, sir.

- Hello.

Vassary. I have a reservation at 1.

- Yes. Vassary.

- Follow me.

- Over here.

- Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

So, Philippe.

I'm not staying for lunch.

- Why?

- I'm not leaving you alone.

You just happen to have a date.

A date?

What do you mean?

Don't freak out. It'll be fine.

What the...

Only this time you can't flee.

By the way...

I took my time, but I found it.

Give her my respects.

Driss.

Driss.

What's going on?

Hello, Philippe.