触不可及 Intouchables(2011)【完整台词】

Or George Bush.

What are you doing?

You're gonna miss the concert.

Leave me alone.

- Are you menstruating or what?

- Get out.

What's up?

Elisa.

Elisa.

- Leave me alone, goddammit.

- What did you take?

What did you do?

- Where did you find this?

- In Yvonne's purse.

Imodium?

What was your plan?

Suicide?

- You're just gonna stop pooping for 3 months.

- Leave me alone!

Wait... you took Ibuprofen too?

You're gonna die!

It's dangerous!

What should we do?

Call 911?

Why would you do that?

It's Bastien.

- What about him?

- He dumped me.

He doesn't care about me.

He called me a slut.

That's not ok at all.

Nobody would care if I died anyway.

Bullshit! Stop saying that.

Let's join the party.

Can't you go see him?

Talk to him?

- To who?

- Bastien. I'll pay you.

What do you mean you'll pay me?

You've really lost it!

Do you think I have time to deal

with childrens' heartaches?

- Please.

- Talk to Bastien?

Paying me?

Who do you think you're talking to?

Please, Driss.

How much?

You're silly.

Well, there's something.

There's a particular touch to it.

But I mean... 11000 euros for an

unknown artist seems like a lot.

Hmm...

On the other hand, if I don't buy it

it's going to be worth the triple in a year...

And you'll tell me:

'I told you'.

Am I right?

Hmm.

- You told me he has a gallery in London?

- Berlin.

Berlin?

Well that's...

I don't know...

Come on, give me something.

Does she have someone?

Yes. Fred.

What about Fred?

They've been together for two years.

But it's an on and off thing...

There's a lot of tension.

Right now...

I know it's not going that well.

- Maybe because of me.

- Yup.

- Did she say something about me?

- No.

Alright, of course she did.

A little bit.

Yes! I knew it! She's got the hots for me.

What, you're spoofing me?

- No.

- Laugh as much as you want.

One day Magalie will be in my bed.

Hope well and have well.

Careful with the appetizers,

given your stomach issues...

I'm not a doctor, but I know if

you take Imodium, something's wrong.

Pardon me. Please...

Can I ask you a favor?

A little piece for me?

No, Philippe! We were chilling.

Yes.

Vivaldi, the Fours Seasons

You'll see, you'll like it.

What about that? Don't tell me

you don't feel anything.

Nope. Nothing.

Not at all.

For me, it's not music if you

can't dance to it.

Let's try something else.

Yeah. I know this one.

It's a commercial!

For coffee, right?

I shall leave thee now.

I am expected by the king at the castle.

I'm taking the minstrels there.

Let's go.

I'm a brave and good knight.

Wow, that's creepy...

It's about naked dudes...

They're running naked in the fields.

And giggling...

Alright, alright...

Bach was badass.

I'm sure he got all the chicks with his music.

It's the 18th century's Barry White.

Oh I know this one.

Everyone know it.

Of course.

"You have reached the Paris unemployment agency"

"All our lines are currently busy"

"The estimated waiting time is: two years"

Isn't it Tom and Jerry?

Tom and Jerry...

What a jerk.

Help!

Help!

Now it's my turn. We listened to your classics,

let's listen to mine.

'Earth, Wind & Fire'.

I told you about them. So good!

It's something else.

That's something else for sure.

Am I right?

Driss.

- Driss.

- I can't hear you.

Come on, dance for Philippe's birthday.

Come on. for Philippe.

There.

So...

With all that I didn't give you my present,

it arrived this morning.

I didn't want to ruin the party,

if she was ugly or something.

You never know.

But at least she responded.

Well... Good night!

Alright, I'll open it...

So?

She does not look like a dog.

Not at all.

Oh damn...

It must be the only northern girl

with all her teeth.

There's a note with it.

'I'm coming to Paris next week. I'm waiting for your call. '

'Dot dot dot. '

You know what 'Dot dot dot' means, right?

What does it mean?

- That's good?

- Of course it's good, she wants you.

One dot, two dots, three dots,

she wants you, end of the story.

She wants me...

Feels good, doesn't it?

- I'm too excited to sleep.

- But you will.

I'm putting the picture here.

She's watching you sleep.

There.

Good night, Philippe.

Sweet dreams.

Let's try the hat again.

- Not bad.

- No.