two and six because what I bet
your dumb ass doesn't know,
is it is easily confused
for dichlor ethane
which is what I used on Saddam
when I water boarded his ass.
Made his dick fall off.
Who's laughin now fucks?
Who's laughin now?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
I think that guy's got
a serious case of PTSD.
How bout you say thank you
soldier, god bless America?
And tell me when
I fuckin' start.
This is the hydraulic crane.
Do not tough the hydraulic crane
until you get certified. Ever.
Wow. This thing is awesome.
This thing is like a
deadly weapon around here.
Alright. I-OSHA takes
this shit serious.
I take this shit serious.
Okay, you touch this
without getting certified.
You get fired. Or killed.
Crushed to death before you
even know what happened.
I'm for real man.
Big time danger.
Dude lost an arm
first time I was here.
Who?
Kipper fuckin freaks out over
this thing 16 times a day.
Ah!
Dave where are we going?
Jack up to see the boss.
Hey, are you cool?
About the elevator?
No man are you cool cool
what do you mean?
Do you do weed?
I've done some landscaping
no man pot.
No, no, no, no.
You're gonna have to start
if you want to be cool here.
Jack shhh! Where are you going?
Follow me.
Come on.
Dave what is this?
Old crawl space.
No body knows its up here.
Pharms, you up here?
Jack this is Dave, the new guy.
Dave oh, no, I'm good thank you.
Pharms marijuana is the
only way to escape
the drudgery of this place.
Plus this is some
real good Sinsemilla.
What's this one?
Oh. Its a new
mix I'm working on.
I call it sour purple turbo.
Oh yeah.
Try it.
Keep it down, he'll hear you.
Arms up.
Up in the air.
Pharms it's, uh, tetrahydrocannabinol
and diacetylmorphine.
Basically weed and heroin.
Pharms party foul.
Sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
What is that?
Pharms Bucky the Beaver.
Our idol.
I liberated him from
the corporate office
on a peyote
induced vision quest.
Now he resides here, watching
over and protecting us.
We do not offend Bucky.
So any party foul
committed in his presence
must be apologized for.
Jack alright.
And penance paid.
I was gonna get a fritter later.
We offer to Bucky so he may
forgive us our party fouls.
And shield us from
our misery and torment.
Sorry Bucky.
Dave guys, if its so miserable
here, why don't you just quit?
I figure Kipper's only
gonna' last so long
before he gets fired
for soliciting sex from
underaged boys online.
Then they'll make me manager.
He has sex with
underaged boys, here?
I don't know,
it's just a theory.
I keep watching that to catch a
predator show waitin to see him.
I get to experiment with
chemicals all day.
Do you have any idea, the
street value of this stuff?
Do I use illegal drugs now?
Do you mean illegal federally
or more on a state level?
Because I can take the drug test
I would just need about thirty
days to you know study for it.
Mr. Kipper Jack will show you the ropes.
He's my second in command.
You'll see we have a strong
mutual respect for each other.
I run a good, solid crew here.
Otto, the two Jacks, Terra.
She used to have a bit of a
substance abuse issue.
But, I'm happy to say, we
nipped that problem in the bud.
Now she's a model employee.
We're a team.
We help each other.
So I need you to
do somethin' for me.
Relax kiddo.
I just need to get your
measurements.
Let's start with your
shirt and penis size.
I'm sorry what?
Uh, pants size. Sorry.
Damn auto correct.
So how big are you?
Pants. And shirt.
Oh, um, thirty four long.
Uh, medium shirt maybe.
Ah, Dave.
We need to look our
best around here.
So we need exact
specifications for our uniforms.
It's no big deal.
I'll just take your
measurements on your shoulder.
And let me know if I make you
feel uncomfortable in any way.
Dave okay.
Mr. Kipper
Dave, you're so tense.
It's, uh, first day jitters.
I'm a little nervous.
Mr. Kipper
oh, no need for that.
Just think of me as
your friendly uncle.
So you're thirty four in slack.
No jeans? Because I can measure.
No, nope I'm good I got it yeah.
Okay. Alright then.
Oh. Cell phone.
You'll need to check
that in with me.
Come on, whip it out.
Come on get that out. Come on.
Thank you.
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好运查理第一季(美剧)好运查理第二季(美剧)好运查理第三季(美剧)成长的烦恼第一季(美剧)成长的烦恼第二季(美剧)小谢尔顿第一季(美剧)小谢尔顿第二季(美剧)哈利·波特与魔法石 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone(2001)哈利·波特与密室 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets(2002)哈利·波特与阿兹卡班的囚徒 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(2004)哈利·波特与火焰杯 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire(2005)哈利·波特与凤凰社 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(2007)哈利·波特与死亡圣器(上) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1(2010)哈利·波特与死亡圣器(下) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2(2011)哈利·波特:一段魔法史 Harry Potter: A History of Magic(2017)无敌破坏王 Wreck-It Ralph(2012)超人总动员2 Incredibles 2(2018)12号大屠杀 Massacre on Aisle 12(2016)【完整台词】
A hardware store employee's first night on the job is disrupted by the discovery of a dead body and a duffel bag full of cash.
导演: Jim Klock / William Mark McCullough
编剧: A.J. Via / Chad Ridgely
主演: Chad Ridgely / Michael Buonomo / 吉姆·克洛克
类型: 喜剧 / 恐怖
制片国家/地区: 美国
上映日期: 2016-11-05
12号大屠杀 Massacre on Aisle 12(2016) 全部台词 (当前第3页,一共 13 页)
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