So...
you'd prefer to keep
your whereabouts a secret.
Very interesting.
Who are you?
What is this business
you have to discuss with me?
I have no business with you.
What do you want?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess maybe it depends
upon what you're hiding.
- Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter.
- Give me that. That's mine!
Oh, how very impressive.
This ought to fetch
quite a lot.
Please give me that paper.
It's personal property.
Oh, haven't you heard?
There is no personal property in the Soviet Union.
Everything belongs
to the people.
Will you please
give me that paper?
It is a private matter,
and I am not at liberty to discuss it.
Yes, of course. Of course.
One shouldn't interfere in private matters.
It's considered gauche.
There you are.
Now, I must be off.
- Where are you going?
- Ah, the eternal question.
Quo vadis?
Well, if you must know,
I am "vadising" off to gossip with the secret police.
- "Secret police"?
- Well, what can I do, old cock?
After all, I am a patriotic
citizen of the Soviet Union.
It is my sacred duty
to turn you in.
Now, maybe if you weren't such a selfish pig,
we could do business.
- I can't.
- I'm going.
- Wait.
- Why?
- Let's talk.
- About what?
- Things.
- What things?
- I don't know. Situation...
- I'm going.
- Wait.
- Why?
- Let's talk.
- About what?
- It.
- What's "it"?
- You know.
- I know what?
- What we're talking about.
- We're talking about nothing. I'm going.
- You mustn't.
- I must.
- Why?
- The reward.
- What reward?
- For turning you in.
- Wait.
- Why?
- We'll talk...
- About what?
About the diamonds,
the diamonds, the diamonds!
The diamonds.
And most of this stuff
was purchased...
for about 50,000 rubles, hmm?
Yes.
That means that today...
they'd probably be worth
between 150,000 and 200,000.
As much as that?
Not a kopeck less.
And maybe more.
I've got to find
those chairs.
[Cackles]
Tikon is back.
- Tikon, come here.
- Coming, master.
- Tikon...
- Coming. I'm coming.
Coming, master. I'm coming.
Coming. Coming. Coming.
Coming. Coming.
Coming. Coming.
I'm coming, master.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
I'm coming, master.
I'm coming.
I'm coming, master.
- Tikon.
- You see? I'm here.
Tikon, the furniture.
What happened to the furniture?
- The furniture.
- Yes, the furniture.
- What happened to the furniture?
- The furniture?
What happened
to the furniture?
[Snoring]
Tikon. Tikon.
[Snoring Continues]
[Sighs]
Well, cross-examination
of the witness...
will have to be adjourned
until tomorrow morning.
Let's go to bed.
[Chorus Vocalizing]
Oh, thou who knowest all...
You know.
[Snoring]
[Rooster Crowing]
[Crowing Continues]
Tikon.
Tikon.
Master. Hmm.
- Oh, master, you're still...
- Shh.
[Vorobyaninov]
Where is the furniture?
- The furniture?
- Yes, Tikon.
Where is the furniture?
You mean upstairs
in the house?
[Vorobyaninov]
Yes.
Some of it is still there.
The velvet sofa is there.
It's a mess now.
And the andirons.
They kept the andirons.
Did they keep the chairs?
There was a dining room suite
with 12 chairs...
made by Hambs of London.
They were upholstered
in gold brocade.
Do you remember?
Twelve chairs. Walnut.
Covered in gold brocade.
Yes! Yes!
That's them! That's them!
They're gone.
[Growling]
- All but one.
- Where is it?
The pantry,
outside the kitchen.
Sits there.
A major. A beauty.
Good. Now what happened
to the other 11 chairs?
One morning, a big van came...
from the Bureau of Housing,
took everything.
- The Bureau of Housing?
- Shh.
Now, think, Tikon, what street is
the Bureau of Housing on?
Headache! Headache!
I have such a headache!
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《十二把椅子》是个极其有趣的讽刺故事。它通过一个贵族出身的小公务员和一个流氓找寻十二把藏有财富的椅子的曲折离奇经历,尖锐地讽刺了许多卑污可笑的现象。
导演: 梅尔·布鲁克斯
编剧: 梅尔·布鲁克斯
主演: 朗·穆迪 / 弗兰克·兰格拉 / 多姆·德路易斯
类型: 喜剧 / 冒险
制片国家/地区: 美国
语言: 英语 / 俄语
上映日期: 1970-10-28
片长: 94 分钟
12把椅子 The Twelve Chairs(1970) 全部台词 (当前第3页,一共 11 页)
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