(SCOFFS) Okay.
Well, it's
like 4:00 in the morning.
Well, I thought you might be interested.
- In bio-accumulation?
- Why not?
I'm off drugs, I'm off booze, and
now you don't want me to eat fish?
- When do you eat fish anyway?
- That's not the point.
- Then what is the point?
- It's you wanting to
- It's not about what I want, is it?
- Isn't it?
I was under the impression
it's what we both want.
Me.
Not having control over my own body.
No!
Us having a fucking baby.
I'm too tired for this crap.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Uh, Rob.
- Wh Who is that?
- Work.
I gotta go.
- Are you Come on.
What, now?
- Yeah.
Rob! Rob!
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
(PANTING)
Come on, Lumpy.
- Morning, Robyn.
- Hi.
I made you a cup of tea.
And, um, there's toast.
And I can't
remember if you eat bread or not.
Thank's for letting me stay.
Oh, no, don't be silly.
I've locked myself out of my flat,
like, hundreds of times.
It's just really nice having you here.
Oh, gosh! We can get the bus together.
Are those your folks?
- Um, yeah.
I hate that photo.
- They look really proud.
Um, I I heard about what
happened with your mum.
I'm really sorry.
Is your dad still?
I haven't spoken to my dad
in maybe 13 years?
Why not?
He had an affair.
We hated him for it.
Now I kinda get it, to be honest.
He put up with my mom's shit for years.
Didn't say a single word.
Just got his head down,
worked his ass off, provided.
But eventually someone's
gonna break, right?
Mm.
Maybe you should call him.
- Is that?
- Um Um That's Simon.
My cousin.
(STUTTERS) Eh, it's my dad's
brother's friend's
Kid.
Your cousin looks a lot like
your boyfriend Craig from work.
(ALARM BEEPING)
- The toast is burning.
- Hmm?
Oh! Oh, balls!
I'll get you a coffee.
Eve, do you want one?
Coconut flat white?
Oh, and Robyn, if you need to
stay another night, that's fine.
My flatmate's away till Saturday,
and she's totally cool
with me having friends over.
So
Thanks, hon.
- Did I miss a sleepover?
- I locked myself out of my flat.
'Course you did.
Trouble at the mill?
Of course not.
What could possibly be wrong
with my perfect life?
Oh babe Life is a bag of dicks.
You spend half the time looking
for someone to share it with
and the other half
trying to escape them.
We're not built for it.
We're solitary creatures.
Like tigers.
Or honey-badgers.
What the fuck is a honey-badger?
(PHONE RINGS)
Who's that?
You guys?
- Oh.
(SCOFFS) I don't know.
- A couple of times.
A couple?
Well, you kept that one quiet.
It's nothing, you know.
Just getting my dick wet.
Oh, my God, are you talking about Tom?
It is so cute.
He is adorable.
He
called her the other day just to
OK, Pride and Prejudice.
Let's all
get a grip.
These things happen.
We all need to fill our
vaginas from time to time.
It's nothing to get excited about.
It's not gonna last anyway.
The problem is I get such
a chubby when he tells me off,
that means I'm spending the whole
time provoking him into a rage.
Which I'm sure he'll
grow bored of eventually.
- (GASPS) Oh, crap!
- EVE: What?
- CAROLINE: Robyn?
- Yep! Just saw it.
I want to know who got the
picture, where else it's printed,
and why none of the
supposedly capable grown-ups
who work in this office knew about it.
And then I want to fire someone.
I don't care who it is.
Fight it amongst yourselves.
Put your names in a hat,
gang up against the weakest.
Just clear out a desk
by the end of today.
You and you should already be in a taxi.
And take Whingy McCranky with you.
She means you.
BROOKE: I'm not having one
little tuck ruin everything.
This cannot happen.
I have a book launch in three weeks.
Do you know what
the advance was on that?
- If I don't recoup
- (WINCES)
Not to mention, I Garnier deal!
I am supposed to be the face
of their age-defying serum.
And I have already spent the money
on a traditional Finnish hot tub.
Darling, they might know
the process to
I'm not giving up on that
fucking hot tub, Jeremy.
There's no dodging this.
The picture's out there.
Our dicks are in the wind.
We just need to move forward and
come up with a workable solution.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
I'll make tea.
What does everybody want?
I have Lapsang, Bombay chai,
vanilla bean.
What about just coming clean?
The name of Brooke's blog is untouched.
If people find out she's
as pumped full of toxins
as the rest of us, she's fucked.
No offence, B.
What's it like under there?
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Can't we just deny it? Say it wasn't me?
Who's gonna issue the denial?
Look at you.
You look like
the Invisible Man.
I could post something online,
I'll just say that I'm in Botswana
filming a documentary
about monkeys or something.
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