I was not expecting
to see you again.
- Shut up.
- I mean, don't get me wrong,
I'm chuffed to my boots, but
Oh, and thank you
for the text, saucy.
Oh, and sorry I'm late.
Oh, no, it's fine,
it was last-minute.
- It's really nice to see
- No, no, I'm such a tool box.
You know, I'd like to say I was trying
to save a puppy, or something,
but I just got my coat caught
on someone else's coat outside the Tube.
When we went to separate ourselves,
it was fucking intense.
I had to give him my coat.
- What are we doing? - It's my sister's
surprise birthday party.
Oh, my God, I love surprises, go on.
But I just thought
I need to get her a present first.
Oh, my God, what are you
going to get her?
I know this beautiful soap shop.
I mean, this stuff just gets you
straight in the bath.
Oh, I was thinking more like
Oh, yeah these places
all the time
So Yup.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
Sorry, I won't be long.
Oh, no, no.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hey, what are you craving?
Oh, just a really,
really cheap thrill.
For you?
Oh, hello.
No, it's for her sister.
It's for my very
sexually frustrated sister.
Just a basic bunny would be great.
OK, well, I'll see what I can
dig out and you go browse.
Thanks.
[VIBRATOR BUZZES]
Oh.
Oh, I think you just
do it at the bottom.
It's all in the twist.
Ooh.
Oh.
I know.
You should totally get one of those.
- A vagina?
- Yeah.
Oh, I've already got one.
Really? You have No
You've got one?
I take it with me everywhere.
You lie.
You don't have one
on you now?
Yep.
Never going to get it.
Where?
- Where's my vagina?
- Yeah.
- Where's my vagina?
- Yeah.
Ha, you got me.
I don't carry a vagina
around with me,
that would be way too provocative.
Didn't get it.
OK, so this one's really great.
It's half price because
it's quite relentless.
It's called the Burrower.
Basically it doesn't stop
until you've cum.
Excuse me.
Oh, don't worry about him,
he'll be fine in a minute.
Oh, my God, I love surprise parties.
I love them,
I love them, I love them.
Will your parents be there?
- My dad might be
- Oh, intense.
Parents adore me.
I want you to be totally in love
with me by the end of the night.
OK?
[CAR HORN TOOTS]
Who's that?
Oh, it's my sister.
- Oh, no! We're going to
ruin the surprise.
- No, no
- No, no, no.
- No, really.
- Get down.
It will be fine.
ALL: Surprise!
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
I'm so surprised.
She's very good.
How divine.
What a lovely husband you have.
Where is he then?
Ah.
Busy.
I'm blown away.
I had absolutely no idea.
Hildegard, can I just
grab you for a second?
- Hello.
- Hello.
Oh, Dad, hi.
Thank you for asking, yeah,
I'm essentially a documentary maker.
Docs.
[RAUCOUS LAUGH]
Oh, really?
What is your latest project?
Well, sir, I'm interested in life,
and how it affects lots of people
in all sorts of different ways.
Yeah, it's awesome.
- How did you meet?
- I met her on a bus.
So easy to pick up girls these days.
I was, like, "Hi",
and she was, like, "Take my number.
"
I was, like, "Yeah.
"
I'm just going to see if there are
any other wines to try.
It's lovely, I'm just going to see
if there are some others.
Excuse me.
Can't resist.
Did you find anything nicer?
Oh, I was so sorry
to hear about Harry.
Lovely Harry.
Love Harry.
Exciting news about his new job.
Yes, very exciting.
I was so pleased that you'd
found someone else so fast.
I just can't stop conjuring an image
of you sitting around that cafe,
just all alone,
feeling so terribly lonely.
Just can't stop picturing it.
I don't think you have to be
alone to be lonely.
Dad always taught me that.
Did your father tell you that
one of my pieces has gone missing?
He did.
That's awful, I'm so sorry.
So sweet of you.
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