- So I read your book.
- Okay.
Great.
Well, it's got some great twists.
- True.
- But I just
- I couldn't help but notice
- Come on, just spit it out!
- just one or two little inconsistences.
- Okay, sure.
So, the world was made in seven days.
And on the first day, light came and
then a few days later the sun came?
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
But you believe that?
It's not a fact, it's poetry.
It's moral code.
It's for interpretation to help
us work out God's plan for us.
What's God's plan for you?
I believe God meant for me
to love people in a different way.
I believe I'm supposed
to love people as a father.
We can arrange that.
A father of many.
I'll go up to three.
- It's not going to happen.
- Two, then.
Okay, two.
- [LOUD THUMP]
- Oh, shit.
Pam.
She's not happy.
[HE WHISPERS]: We should go outside.
Do you think I should become a Catholic?
No, don't do that.
I like that you believe
in a meaningless existence.
And you're good for me.
You make me question my faith.
- And?
- I've never felt closer to God.
[LAUGHING]Fuck you!
- [RUSTLING]
- What was that?
It wasn't a fox, was it?
- I don't know.
- Is it a fox?
Shine something.
Boo! Baa!
- Oh, God.
I bet it's a fox.
- Oh, God!
No, I'm not being funny,
foxes have been after me for years.
It's like they have a pact or something.
I'm not kidding.
I was on a
toilet, a toilet of a train,
and when the train stopped,
a fucking fox tried to get
through the window of a train!
Its face was in the window!
And once, when I was at a monastery,
I woke up just feeling a bit
weird, like there might be
a fox about, and a fox
was sitting underneath my window
looking up like this,
pointing at me like,
"You, we're watching you.
We're having you.
"
Lucky God got there first.
- Well, yeah.
- You could be a fox boy by now.
And we all know what happened to them!
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
Do you think I'm mad?
Because of the fox thing
or because of the God thing?
You're obsessed.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Do you ever have doubts?
Yes, of course, every day.
It's part of the deal.
I just don't think I could do it.
Especially the
What?
- celibacy and
- Oh, it's a fucking fox!
- [RUSTLING]
- Chill out about the fox!
Ooh! Sorry.
I just don't know
what they want from me!
Sorry.
Celibacy.
Go.
I just
I couldn't give up sex forever.
It's just too
It's too
Celibacy is a lot less
complicated than
romantic relationships.
What if you meet someone you like?
I talk and drink and laugh
and give them Bibles,
and hope they eventually leave me alone.
What if you meet someone you love?
We're not going to have sex.
I know that's what you think
you want from me, but it's not.
It won't bring any good.
- Well, it might
- It won't.
I've been there many times.
Before I found this.
Many, many times.
How many times?
Many.
I'd really like to
be your friend, though.
I'd like to be your friend, too.
We'll last a week.
What was that?
What?
Where did? Where did you just go?
What?
You just went somewhere.
There.
There.
Where did you just go?
Nowhere.
Okay.
[THEY SCREAM]
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