Cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing.
- But it mustn't leave a moustache.
- Cinnamon or chocolate? This is so complicated.
Um, cinnamon.
- And you? - I'll have the - Look, it's Daphne! - Daphne! Oh, hello! Thought you might be here.
Please, sit.
- I just stopped in for a bag of beans.
- Oh, well - Can I help? - Two pounds of (Both) Kenya blend.
- You remembered.
- What about my order? Most people find it too intense.
I like something that holds its body on me tongue.
We've spilt something.
If you could Would you like something robust, if it didn't come on too strong? If it was a little bit sweet I might like it.
- Want to come try my special blend? - I'd love to.
Oh, nothing for me, thanks! That man is hitting on our Daphne.
How does she stand it? Apropos of nothing, how are things with you and Maris? Are you implying my concern for Daphne is less than pure? - You tell me.
- That's your shortcoming.
You're always suspicious.
You should have faith in people.
What's he doing? - Bagging her beans.
- Oh! I'm so excited.
Eric's taking me to hear his band.
It's not me night off, but I'll switch if that's OK.
Isn't he lovely? I have a nickname for him.
Eric the Red.
It favours him, doesn't it? He looks like a Viking.
- Well - Well, ta-ta.
Oh, look at me.
I forgot me beans.
Earth to Daphne.
How could she like him? He has community college written all over him.
Niles, this infatuation with Daphne is getting out of hand.
I didn't mind when it was flirtation, but I can't help thinking that there's This is symptomatic of something wrong between you and Maris.
- Is it? - I can't lie.
The truth is, Maris and I are in a bit of a rut.
We seem to have lapsed into grey, numbing blandness.
That's perfectly normal in a relationship of some years.
Try spicing things up a bit.
You mean, boudoir-wise? - For starters, yeah.
- How? Well The two of you could, uh Well, you could It's you and Maris, so you could I'm stumped.
How are you? You wanna know? Or are you making conversation? If you wanna know, I'll tell you.
I was making conversation.
- Actually, I need advice.
- About what? A subject in which you're well versed: Sex.
How can I help you? What do you do when the romance goes out of a relationship? I get dressed and go home.
Let's assume that you are capable of a long-term relationship.
- How would you keep things cooking? - Once a boyfriend took me to a bar.
We pretended we were strangers picking each other up.
That was hot.
You used fantasy, role-playing? We had so much fun we tried it again.
Next time, he got so into it he went home with another woman.
- I'm sorry.
- She was gorgeous.
One more drink I'd have gone home with her.
Women need to see the men they make love to as exciting, romantic figures.
If you want to keep her interested, create a fantasy for an evening.
Personally, I think you'd make a very sexy gladiator.
- This is not for me.
It's for Niles.
- In that case, make it a gladiola.
(Doorbell) (Persistent doorbell) Niles! Niles! I'm sorry, but something horrible has happened.
Maris kicked me out.
Dear God, why? What for? - Oh, my! - What's going on out there? Niles? Hello, Dad.
- I don't want to know.
- Wait.
There's a reasonable explanation.
All right, but I reserve the right to say "stop" at any time.
My plan was to leave a treasure map downstairs for Maris with clues to lead her to my whereabouts.
Then I'd hide in the linen closet and wait for her to find me.
Dressed like that? Actually, no.
At the time, I was wearing only my eye patch.
But is it still an eye patch if you wear it on your Stop! There I was - ooh - with my little plastic knife between my teeth.
Suddenly the closet door opened, and I found myself face to face with the maid.
She screamed - what I gather were unflattering things - in Guatemalan.
Maris stumbled upon the scene and ordered me out of the house.
I barely had time to grab my pantaloons and buckle my swash.
(Dad laughs) Dad! Dad, it's not funny.
Where did you get that stupid idea? Frasier? All I suggested was role-playing.
You came up with pirates of the Caribbean.
- I've really bungled it, haven't I? - These things happen.
Why don't you stay here now, and tomorrow you'll sort things out? What if we don't? They could use an extra busboy at the Jolly Roger.
I'll never be able to face the maid again.
I don't think it's your face she'll remember.
Come on, Niles.
Everybody has an embarrassing story.
Did I tell you about getting locked out, in my underwear? - Every Thanksgiving.
- Don't worry, I won't be telling that story this year.
Canadian goose down pillow, Egyptian cotton sheet, - and a vicuna throw for if you're chilly.
- Perfect.
The service would've done you boys the world of good.
- Good night! - Good night.
Maris and I have had difficulties before, but nothing this serious.
I feel terrible having her mad at me.
I wish I knew how to cry.
- Don't be embarrassed on my account.
- No, it's not that.
I just don't cry.
It's not in my nature.
When Maris' uncle died, I shut my hand in a door, just to make a decent show at the funeral.
You're a complex little pirate, aren't you? - Well, good night, Niles.
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