'I had a really good year.
So why not reward myself? 'So I bought a 48ft cabin cruiser.
'I'll tell you how much it cost me, '300 grand plus $20,000 for the custom teak decking.
'My problem is that my wife wants to call 'this incredible vessel "Lullubelle", after her mother.
"'Lullubelle!" I want to call it "The Intrepid".
'So, what do you think, "Lullubelle" or "The Intrepid"? ' At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of equipment known as the "tunnelling electron microscope.
" This microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the minute building block of our universe.
If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
Thank you for your call.
And now, "Hungry for Chinese? I always" I'm sorry.
We're experiencing technical difficulty.
Let's go to a pre-recorded commercial message.
What's this? I don't do personal endorsements.
- The other personalities do them.
- They aren't doctors.
If I allow myself to become a pitchman, I lose all my credibility.
I am a wise man, a shaman.
Zip up your fly, wise man.
Whoa! Doc, this is a radio studio, not a bus terminal.
Look who's here, Noël Coward.
I hate to mix business with revulsion but Frasier, as usual, will not do this promo.
Love to, no problem.
Doc, with all due respect, you're an idiot.
These promos are easy money.
It's a question of integrity.
Integrity.
Hello! We're talking mucho dinero.
But the more you turn these down, the more Liver Snaps for the Bulldog.
(Barks) What is this with my name on it? The Hunan Palace gig contract.
It's how much they'd pay you.
- I'll change the name to "Bulldog".
- They pay you that much to read copy? Yes.
Bulldog adds his special touch.
(Gong) (Chinese accent) You will come, chop chop to Hunan Palace, where Peking duck is always extra crispy.
(Duck whistle) We're gonna get sued this time for sure.
Damn it! Put a dent in my bumper when I pulled into my parking space.
What happened to the tennis ball I hung over my space so I wouldn't pull up too far? He was bored.
He needed a toy.
Go ahead and throw it.
He'll run and get it for you.
He didn't think that was funny and he knows where you sleep.
A situation has arisen over at work, I'm not sure how it should be handled.
Maybe your objective viewpoint could be helpful.
Sure.
Should I publicly endorse a product? Oh, you mean like Cher does? Thank you, one against.
Dad? - What's the product? - It's for a Chinese restaurant.
What's the problem? I hold a position of trust in the community.
People do what I tell them to and I could be accused of abusing that.
The thought of a doctor selling things is distasteful.
What about Dr Sneezy's cold medicine? Dr Sneezy is a cartoon character.
The fact that he's a giant purple hippo should have tipped you off.
Take the money and run.
I'm tempted, mainly to keep Bulldog from alienating the Asian-American community.
I'd hate to compromise my principles.
You've dedicated your life to helping people, haven't you? Yes.
If your listeners were in a quandary over where to buy good Chinese food, your commercial would help them.
Try the food, if you like it, do the commercial.
That's logical.
Why don't we all go tonight? I better make the reservations under a different name.
I don't want any special treatment.
I want to be treated like I'm just an average working Joe.
Good evening.
Yes, yes.
We'd like a reservation for three at 8:00.
Oh, nothing till 10:00? Oh.
Well, then, uh This is Dr Frasier Crane, from the radio and Yes, I thought you might.
Thank you.
We're in at 9:45.
Did I say tasty? Tasty doesn't do justice to those succulent pot stickers.
And the Kung Pao chicken.
Ooh, don't get me started.
So if you've got a yen for Chinese, hurry to the Hunan Palace.
This is Dr Frasier Crane hoping we'll see you tomorrow on KACL 780AM.
I'm getting the knack for these promos.
Did you hear my "yen" ad lib? Yeah.
By the way, "yen" is Japanese, not Chinese.
I got a call from the Hunan palace the other day.
- Isn't that what advertising does? - Yes, it is, Miss Sour Britches.
Give me a little credit.
I please the boys upstairs, I got people to try a new restaurant, and I've helped a struggling immigrant family who came to these shores with little more than a dream, a few recipes and a wok.
- Dr Crane, what a privilege this is.
- Excuse me? - Bebe Glazer, Bulldog Brisco's agent.
- Pleasure meeting you.
I'm usually not this forward, but I know nobody represents you.
How would you feel about signing on with me as a client? - No, I don't think so.
- Why? I am flattered.
But I'm not really a radio personality per se.
I've heard those spots you've done for that restaurant.
You make me want to stuff my face full of egg rolls and I don't know what.
Thank you, eh but, I dine at the Hunan Palace frequently that's why I did those commercials.
I don't want you to advertise something you don't believe in.
- I am an agent, not a pimp.
- I don't mean to offend - You're terrific.
Here's my card.
- That's not necessary Give me back my card.
It is too refreshing to meet someone not seduced by the almighty dollar.
I would refuse your call.
I've got to go, flying to Palo Alto.
My daughter's at Stanford.
Ah.
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