F R A S I E R (10x01) - The Ring Cycle - I, Daphne Moon, do take thee, Niles Crane, as my husband.
I promise you my fidelity and my support, my laughter and my tears, my constant friendship and my unending love as long as we both shall live.
I, Niles Crane, do take thee, Daphne Moon, as my wife.
I vow to you my fidelity and my support, my honor and my respect, my honesty and my protection.
You are my comfort, my joy, and my one true love.
I will cherish you all the days of my life and treasure the journey that has brought us to this most wonderful perfect place.
For most folks that's one too many free cocktails, am I right? Seriously, do you have the rings? Oh, no.
In my rush to get here, I completely forgot about them.
- Does this mean we can't get married? - It would if we didn't offer seven different wedding band packages for you to choose from.
Now, depending on your budget, we can offer you anything from: the "B-Steel My Heart", that's genuine stainless right there, to the "Never Ending Love", which can be returned for up to 90 days, no questions asked.
They do seem the nicest.
Oh, damn, who could be calling at this hour? Wow, you certainly don't see six and a half karat gold every day.
- Hello? - Daphne, it's Roz.
.
Quick, turn on your TV.
My building's on the news.
- What? - Some murder/suicide thing I'm gonna wave to you from my balcony.
- Darn, I'm not home.
- Where are you? -You're not going to believe this but Niles and I flew to Reno and we're getting married right now! - You are not! - I am so! Apparently it's some sort of dolphin emergency.
I should go.
I'll tell you everything when we get back.
Okay, bye.
Sorry.
You may exchange rings as a symbol of the promises you've made here today.
By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, county of Washoe, and the all-new Lucky 7 Resort and Casino, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.
Good luck! Hey, don't forget to check out our topless buffet.
- He never said, "You may kiss the bride.
" - You may kiss the bride.
BLAME IT ON RENO Chop, chop, Dad! Let's get a move on! The last time I was late for the farmer's market, I got the worst of the squash blossoms.
- Oh, whatever shall we serve the Duchess? - What?! I said "I'm coming.
" And it's not my fault I'm late, it's Daphne's.
- I don't know where she is, I had to make my own lunch.
- Oh, dear lord, give it here.
Two bags of chips, three puddin' cups, - and a root beer.
- What's wrong with that? A, this is not a lunch, and B, I fail to see how it took you so long since you did not make anything, but simply transferred smaller containers into a larger one.
Let's go! - Oh, hello all.
- Hi.
- Where have you been? I had to make my own lunch.
- Oh - We've got some big news.
- Yes, um, maybe they should sit down.
- What's going on? - Well last night, I told Niles that I wanted to marry him right then and there.
And once I realized she was serious, we rushed out into the night, fully intending to.
But then we found out that in Washington, it takes three days to get a marriage license.
- Well, thank goodness! - Why? - Why?! If we had missed your wedding, well it would have just killed me.
It would've? Well of course it would! Niles, we've been there through the last ten tortured years of your courtship.
How could we not be hurt if we missed the wedding? But surely you could understand if, if someone were carried away by their emotions Well, I'm just glad it turned out the way that it did, because it would've just broken my heart.
Well, we didn't come here to break anyone's heart.
We came here to tell you that there's a wedding in three days! Isn't that big news? Yes, we're going to have a simple ceremony at the courthouse.
That is just wonderful! And you know what? By way of a celebration, please allow me to treat us all to dinner at Couer du Singe.
- How does that sound, eh? - That sounds wonderful.
- Hey, Martin.
- Hey, how ya doin'? - You want to go to the dog park? Oh, my God! You guys are here! Well, I'm here too.
- Um, we were just talking about our wedding.
- Oh, good, I want to hear all about it.
We're going to have a small civil ceremony on Friday.
Huh? - Yes, if you'll excuse me, I'm in a rush to get to the farmer's market.
- At this hour? I hope you like listless radicchio.
Okay, what the hell? I thought you guys got married in Reno.
We did.
But as we were trying to tell Mr.
Crane and Dr.
Crane, they told us how hurt they'd be if we got married without them.
Yes, which, in the moment, failed to occur to us.
So, to spare their feelings, we're having a fake wedding on Friday.
Well, that works for me, because Alice is still counting on being a flower girl.
- Of course.
- Great.
So if you guys have two weddings, when's your anniversary going to be? Well, to keep up appearances, I suppose it'll have to be the second one, won't it? Well, we could celebrate two anniversaries.
A public one and then a second, secret one just for us.
Oh, I like that.
Sort of sexy having an anniversary only two of us know about.
Three of us.
- I still can't believe we're married.
- It's our one-day anniversary.
And we're the only ones who know.
You know, we should celebrate.
- How about going to the dog park? - Well, that doesn't sound very romantic.
I'm not talking to you.
- Nervous? - Less than last time.
- I guess it helps to have had a rehearsal.
- It wasn't a rehearsal, it was the real thing.
This is just a touring company performance.
Right.
It's a bloody miracle we're here in one piece what with the way you drive.
I'm better at it when someone's not screaming in my ear.
Well, in my day people didn't drive so recklessly.
Do you know why? Is it because you rode dinosaurs? You should talk to your daughter.
When we get home, you're getting ice cream.
- We're all here, your honor.
- Why did we all have to be here just to pick up a bloody license? Couldn't we have met at the church? - Mum, we're not going to the church, we're getting married here.
- You're what? - We're having a civil ceremony.
- Without a minister? Out of the question.
- Mum - That's enough, Daphne.
I am your mother, and I will not bear witness to a Godless union.
Gertrude, I was in favor of a church wedding too, but this is their day, not ours.
Maybe we should just let them decide how it's gonna be.
If people got to decide things for themselves, no one would go to church! - If I may - I'll handle this, Your Honor.
Mrs.
Moon, you have my personal guarantee, that this will not be a Godless union.
For if you truly believe in the omniscience and omnipresence of the Lord, then surely are we not always in His presence? No, He lives at the church.
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