F R A S I E R (10x03) - Proxy Prexy - A hell of a breakfast, Daph.
I'm stuffed.
- Thanks.
Now come on, let's do some exercises.
- And risk a cramp? What kind of training did you get? - Good morning.
- Hi, Fras.
- Morning.
- Want some breakfast? Um, no thanks.
Coffee will be fine.
Hi, Daph, uh listen.
I could use an objective opinion.
I am running for condo board president, and I want to know what you think of this as a slogan: "Frasier Crane: The People's Elixir.
" OK, I'm ready for my exercises now.
Please, Dad, this is serious! I have a feeling this could be my year.
- Don't you say that every year.
- Yes, I do, but this year, I am the only one running against the incumbent, which means the people will rally their inchoate yearnings for change behind my banner.
Well, you're full of catchy slogans.
Frasier, don't get your hopes up too high, I mean, name one person on the condo board - you haven't ticked off at least once.
- That's just because I have a Type-A, - hands-on, get-it-done personality.
- Seriously, name one.
You know, Fras, you might be the best man for the job, but a friendly smile and a "How do you do" in the hallway goes a lot further than being "The People's Laxative.
" "Elixir"! Well, I suppose you're right.
I haven't really established myself as the neighborly sort.
I thought that my term as fire safety captain might do the trick, but I guess I drilled them once too often.
- Maybe you could give him lessons on how to be a normal person.
- I beg your pardon? Say, I've got an idea.
Dad, why don't you just run? - Why would I want to do that? - Well, because then the people would get their regular guy, - but he would have my political agenda.
- I get it.
Your father's the figurehead.
Like Woodrow Wilson when he had that stroke and his wife secretly acted as president.
Yes, exactly, but of course Dad would be conscious, presumably.
- How did you know about that? - I'm studying for my citizenship exam.
It's about time I became an American like everyone else.
If you were like everyone else, you wouldn't know any history.
- So, Dad, what do you think? - I don't know, it sounds like a big pain.
Oh, come on, Dad.
Think of the neighbors.
Think of the building, the good we could do together.
We can actually achieve the dream of luxury apartment living that our founders intended.
Plus, I'll do all the work.
I'll tell you something I always thought we needed: wider parking spaces so the doors don't get dinged.
- All right, you do this for me, I'll make sure that gets done.
- Really? Absolutely, "Mr.
President".
I like the sound of that.
- Now I think I should still run against you.
- Why? Well, if I drop out just as you announce your candidacy, people might suspect something's up.
It's better that our political legerdemain remain sub rosa, hmm? How would a normal person say that, Dad? No one needs to know how the hot dogs are made.
This is going to be sweet.
Which brings me to my final opponent.
Martin Crane.
Now we're all aware that he is a decorated war hero and a much-honored police officer, but but does he have the building's interests at heart? Maybe.
I simply ask that you stack up his 45 years of experience against my term as fire safety captain.
Thank you.
And God bless Elliot Bay Towers.
And now we'll hear from Martin Crane.
Uh, thanks, uh, I'm Marty Crane, uh I just want to say that it's a privilege to run and, uh I'll try to do the best I can.
Thank you.
Go Seahawks! Um, here's where we hear from our third candidate, current president Jim McIntyre, but uh, last night he informed me that he was giving up condo board in order to pursue his dream of teaching English as a second language.
Dream? Or court-ordered community service? So, I guess it's time to vote.
Well, I wish we would have known that guy wasn't going to run.
- I wouldn't have had to spend all night working on my speech.
- Yes.
Plus, I would automatically be president now.
Yeah, even you couldn't lose a one-man election.
- Hmm, are you forgetting 1998? - Oh, yeah, when you lost to the dead guy.
He wasn't dead he was in a coma.
How was I supposed to compete with that? OK, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
In a surprisingly close vote of fifteen to two, our new president is Martin Crane.
Yes! I got two votes! Bye-bye.
Uh, what a great massage.
It's too bad her English wasn't better.
She could have told us some of her secrets.
Yes, but now we know that Urdu is the official language of heaven.
- I could go for a snack.
Want some pâte? - No thanks.
- Some cheese? - No.
- Pâte? - Again, no.
- How about some salad? - Or a fruit salad.
I could throw together a little melange.
I'll get it.
A melange sounds lovely.
Roz, I thought you were going out with that man from your gym.
We didn't even make it to dinner.
Here's your never-fail date purse back.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, come on in.
- Are you sure? You look like you're going to bed.
- No, we just got a massage.
Come in.
Oh.
Boy, a massage sounds wonderful.
She did the most incredible thing to my neck.
Here, let me show you.
- So how could you tell your date wasn't meant to be? - He had the same purse.
Wow, that feels so good! - Oh, hi Roz! - Hi.
- Poor thing had a bad date.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, now that Daphne's helping you to relax, do you want to join us in a little melange? - What? - You'll love it.
Niles is amazing.
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