F R A S I E R (10x07) - Bristle While You Work - - Well I suppose you looked in the classifieds under "Housekeepers"? - Check.
- And you asked people in your building - Check.
- And you called the employment agencies? - Again, check.
I heard you the first time.
Who thought it'd be so hard to get to find someone to clean your house? Well, over the years Daphne's managed to scour her way into our hearts, so to speak.
And I just don't want to hire someone who's only in it for the money.
So you want to find someone who's in it for the joy of cleaning? - Ah, may I? - Of course, Gil.
- Take a load off.
Nice outfit, Roz.
Somehow you and a peasant blouse just go together.
Thanks.
Haven't worn it for years.
I mean, how long can something stay in the closet? Say, uh, Gil, - are you pleased with your housekeeper? - Oh, you mean Chung? Oh yes, he's marvelous.
He's efficient, he's dependable and he still hasn't figured out American money.
Between you and me, I told him when they made Lincoln's picture bigger, it was worth more.
Very funny.
Do you suppose that your Man Friday might be available - on a Monday or a Tuesday? - You want to steal my Chung! No, no.
Not steal him, just, just borrow him for a day or two a week, - until I can re-staff.
- Oh, a dangerous notion, Frasier.
- You know how employees gossip about their benefactors.
- Well, I have nothing to hide.
Yes, but suppose while on your premises he lets something slip about me and Deb, and our heart-shaped bed? I would refuse to believe him! - Did I mention he's a drug mule? - Oh, he is not! You're just saying that because you don't want to help me out! Oh, such insight.
It's a pity more people don't listen to your show.
Thank you for coming, Mrs.
Wilkins.
Of course, we have several other of Never! Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever find anyone that meets our standards.
You're being too picky.
It's just housekeeping, not rocket science.
I beg to differ.
You don't even know half of what I used to do around here.
Like dusting the plant leaves or rotating your underwear.
- Excuse me? - Every month I used to throw out your oldest pair and put in two new pairs.
Did it ever occur to you that you didn't have to buy underwear - in ten years?! - Thought I got hold of a good batch.
- Now let's see, who is our front runner thus far? - Oh, I don't know, they're all the same to me.
Honestly, Dad, I am starting to get the slightest bit chaffed with your attitude.
You haven't even graded any of the candidates, you've simply doodled a war plane dropping bombs on a soldier.
- That's not a soldier.
- Well, then why is he wearing a helmet? It's not a helmet.
It's someone with a big head! - Yes? - Hi, I'm Trish Haney, I'm here about the housekeeper job? - I'm really sorry I'm late.
- I had you down for over an hour ago.
I know.
I got stuck in line waiting to buy tickets to the Sonics game this weekend.
Really? Come on in! I should have guessed everyone and his brother would want - to see Vince Carter play.
- Not everybody.
Or his brother.
Wow, this is a beautiful place.
- Here's my resumé.
- Thank you.
Won't you be seated.
I'm Dr.
Frasier Crane, this is my father Martin and my sister-in-law Daphne.
Now, I'll get right to the interview.
First question: What is the best way to combat rings on a wooden table? Um, I heard you can rub mayonnaise on it.
The best way is to provide coasters.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Started me out with a trick question.
Right.
So, how do you think the Sonics will defend Carter? Um, you have to have someone body up on him and then double team - when he gets the ball.
- Thank you.
Trish, if the washing machine has a twenty-five minute cycle, and the dryer has a forty minute cycle, what time does the second load have to go in the washer to be done by five o'clock? Uh, well, that's sixty-five minutes, so 3:55.
- You may want to take some time to think about these questions before - Daphne, she's right.
- Well done.
Hey, I got a question: Can you clean a house? Yes, and if I do say so myself, I'm pretty good.
Next question: Can you start Monday? Well, we're getting just a bit ahead of ourselves.
We still have several people to meet.
- Thank you for coming by.
- Oh, sure.
That was the interview, huh? Two questions.
Well, it was really more of a pre-screening.
We'll be sure to let you know.
Oh, just to let you know, I'll be out of town until the first.
Fine, then I'll be sure to call you the second I lose my mind! - What? What was wrong with her? - In the first place, she showed up late.
She doesn't take the interview seriously, how can we expect her to take the job seriously? Oh, you just don't like her because she's not all stuffy.
- She did seem a bit cheeky.
- Which YOU never were.
Well, I'm afraid so far our best candidate is the young man from Jeepers Sweepers.
I will move out if you hire that prancing moron.
All right, fine.
Who would you hire? This Trish, I suppose.
Well, I was right about Daphne.
Doesn't that count for anything? You didn't even want to hire her, you thought she might steal.
- Did you really say that?! - Of course not! I don't remember.
Well whoever gets hired is someone I'm gonna have to spend a lot of time with, and I don't need a lot of quiz questions and score sheets to get a feel for someone's character.
Did I look like a thief? Was it me shifty eyes? Look, if you don't trust my judgment, Frasier, just have the guts to say so.
You know, all right, fine.
You can hire whoever you want to.
You want this Trish, fine, call her.
Right.
I'll call her right now and tell her she's hired.
And I'll tell her where you keep your valuables.
Oh, would you give it a rest?! - Hey, Niles, have a seat.
- Oh, thank you.
I'll have my usual.
Oh no bottled water, room temperature.
Gee, slow down, little man, what are we celebrating? I can't drink anything that's too hot, I have a toothache.
- Oh.
You been to the dentist? - Yes.
He said the tooth is perfectly healthy, but I still have this throbbing pain.
- I think I may have to go to the doctor.
- Oh, it's probably just - a sinus infection.
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