F R A S I E R (10x09) - Don't Go Breaking My Heart - So what's the plan? Are we going to turn off the lights and jump out and yell "surprise!" Oh yes, Roz, let's startle a man who just had open-heart surgery.
- Sorry, I can't get used to thinking of Niles as "sick.
" - Oh, Niles is great.
All these exercises he's doing, he's going to be just as strong as he ever was.
- Here's the guest of honor.
- Niles, good to see you out and about! - You look great! - Thank you! Thank you, I tell you it's good to be out after being cooped up in that apartment all week.
Hello.
I never thought I'd grow tired of reading Flaubert.
Oh please, he's been parked on his ass watching soap operas.
- Niles! Not the soaps! You can't be serious.
- Well, I'm hardly hooked.
They fascinate me as-as cultural artifact.
I was telling Gertrude: their use of stock figures is reminiscent of "commedia dell'arte".
Yes, uh, Esther is Punchinello, Victor is Flavio, and Nikki well, she's just the town pump.
- Now do you see why I need my own telly, Daphne.
- You have one in Manchester.
Here's champagne and sparkling cider for you, Niles.
- and help yourself to brunch whenever you're ready.
- I would stay away from the sausage.
They're not sausages, Dad, they're "soysages.
" Niles is on a postoperative diet.
We are trying to support him.
- Oh, sorry.
What about the bacon? - "Fake-un.
" Okay, everyone, I'd like to propose a toast.
To my family and friends, your love and support - have been overwhelming.
- Oh, Niles! - No,no.
You know during my operation, I was technically dead for several minutes.
- Yes, we know son, you told us.
- But, it gave me a fresh perspective on everything.
It took a brush with death to remind me how lucky I am to be alive.
And Gertrude, thank you for giving up the guest bedroom so that I don't have to climb all those stairs.
Oh, no, I'm happy to sleep on that sofa bed with its hard metal frame.
You have a nice soft bed in Manchester.
Oh, Daphne, it's okay.
Her bracing honesty reminds me that I'm alive.
You you oh, you! You are a treasure to me.
I cherish every day we're together.
Oh, thank you, Niles! There may be others around here who could benefit from a near-death experience.
- Well, let's eat before the fake-un loses its shape.
- Wow! - Niles is really loving life with a vengeance.
- I did too after I got shot.
My first day back at the precinct I went around hugging all the guys telling them all I loved them.
- How long did that last? - Until they started calling me "Martina.
" - It is kind of weird seeing Niles all lovey-dovey with Mrs.
Moon.
- Believe me when you're in that state, you can find something to love even in the biggest jerk.
Roz, I want to tell you, you are a treasure.
Maybe I don't say it often enough, but you are.
Shut up, "Martina"! Hi.
- I know that song.
- Yes, Mozart Symphony No.
40: Molto Allegro.
I just bought this new recording for Niles.
It is fantastic! - I've never heard such string articulation.
- Oh, I remember what it is! It's that commercial with the singing cats.
- One of the cats was wearing a tiny tuxedo.
- Good! So few cats dress for the symphony anymore.
- Oh, hi guys! - Guess who just walked a mile on the treadmill? Oh way to go, Niles! The doctor says he's in the 95th percentile of patients recovering from bypass surgery.
- 95%! That's wonderful, Niles! - Well, now Frasier, good health is not a competition! When you've heard time's winged chariot hurrying here, as I have, every day is a gift.
Oh, yoiks, what tone-deaf prankster gave you this? - You'veheard it? - Well, as much as I could bear.
Did you hear what the conductor - did to the Andante? I just hope he bought it dinner first.
- I couldn't agree more, Niles.
- Frasier, you said you loved that CD.
- Niles has convinced my otherwise.
- You know, I'm in the mood for a scone.
Help me pick one out.
- All right.
- That was weird.
- I'll say.
Who can't pick out their own scone? No.
I mean you and Niles.
Usually that would have been a long argument - ending in tears and cursing in Italian.
- Those days are over, Roz.
- What happened? - Well, it's a long story.
Okay.
When Niles was in the hospital and he was being wheeled into surgery he looked so frail and vulnerable, so I I took my case to a higher power.
Hello, God.
It's me, Dr.
Frasier Crane.
Though I don't talk to you as often as I should, I want to thank you for all the times you've indulged me in the past - although I have yet to see the inside of the Empire Club.
Just kidding.
Anyway, today I ask you to look after my brother Niles Crane.
I love him, even if I don't always show it, and I regret all the time he and I have wasted in petty quarrels.
If you spare him, Oh Lord, I promise to cherish every moment we have together.
But Frasier, you don't think God is going to strike Niles down if you get in an argument? Well, technically, the way it's structured, he'd come after me, seeing as I was the one who initiated the deal, you see.
Oh, oh, uh, let's get this to go.
My soap starts in twenty minutes.
Ashley might come out of her coma today.
You know, since your recovery's going so well, maybe we should check you out, make sure all your equipment's working properly.
You're not talking about my exercise bicycle, are you? Mmm-mmm.
The doctor said it would be OK.
If you need second opinion, maybe Nurse Naughty could make a house call.
I could use a checkup but we should err on the side of caution.
In a few weeks, I have another stress test.
And if all goes well, Nurse Naughty will be one satisfied health care professional.
- See you! Bye! Bye, guys! - Bye.
Oh, Niles, wait.
Frasier says the string articulation is really good.
In this? Frasier, I hold your opinion in highest regard, but are you nuts? - Perhaps I am, Niles, thank you.
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