Where have you been? We're on in two minutes! Forgive me, but I was busy preparing your schedule for tomorrow.
Lunch with the manager, flowers for your sister-in-law in the hospital.
Oh, yes.
Maris' facelift.
- I didn't know she needed one.
- She doesn't.
All she needs is a little sun, some exercise and a personality.
- What are those? - Copies of your schedule.
Why are you running to the Xerox room for copies of my schedule? - Is it because of that new intern? - Eli.
- He's probably all of 19! - That's legal.
Well, koo koo ka choo, Mrs Robinson.
He's so gorgeous you just want to bite him all over.
Haven't you seen him? No.
I've been eating out lately.
You're not serious about dating him? Why can older men date younger women, but not the other way round? I don't make the rules.
I just enjoy them.
You're on.
Hello, Seattle.
This is Dr Frasier Crane, KACL 780.
I'll be with you for three hours.
Roz, who's our first caller? Linda, calling from a car phone.
Hello, Linda.
I'm listening.
'My husband and I are in the middle of a fight.
'We're on our way to the Antique Mart.
'We're lost, but he won't stop and ask for directions.
' Yes, this is a common source of friction among couples.
Some men need to be in control.
They see asking for help as weakness.
'Everybody knows that.
I called to ask 'how we get to the Antique Mart from Cherokee and 14th Street.
' 'I don't need directions! I know where I am!' 'We're lost, Walter.
Face it, we're lost.
' This isn't normally the kind of advice I give, but let me see.
I've lived in Seattle most of my life.
- I have a map right here.
- No, thanks, I don't need any help.
Eddie, that's disgusting! Why do animals drag things in? - What is it? A rat? - No.
A stupid doll.
He carries it everywhere.
He never did this before you had him fixed.
- Hello.
- Not at the hospital? I'm on my way now.
Poor Maris.
She has no hospital experience.
Except the usual childhood things: tonsils, adenoids, force-feeding.
- What's wrong with her? - Nothing.
Cosmetic surgery.
Her chin, her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids You'd be faster telling us what she's leaving alone.
- In my opinion, this is just vanity.
- It's not vanity, it's insecurity.
Women fall victim to our culture's worship at the altar of beauty.
Women over 40 feel unattractive if they don't have perfect hair, porcelain skin, limpid eyes, pouting lips, the voluptuous contours of a goddess.
I'm sorry.
I've forgotten what my point was.
I know just what you mean.
I fell victim to that pressure myself.
- I had a mole removed.
- Where? Just south of Manchester.
- I meant where on your body? - So did I.
So, what time is the surgery tomorrow? First thing in the morning.
I was wondering if I might have your moral support down at the hospital.
- Sure.
No problem.
- Thank you.
Well, I'd better be off.
Hey, Niles.
It's not my business, but how much is this setting you back? In the neighbourhood of $25,000.
For an extra five grand, you can get a new wife from the Philippines.
- Ah, Dr Crane.
- Dr Sternstein.
Excuse me Your wife is recovering, but it went splendidly.
- You can see her in a few minutes.
- Thank you.
All right, Mrs Patterson.
He's an incredible plastic surgeon.
Did you see that woman? - Mr Patterson is a lucky man.
- Maybe that was Mr Patterson.
Guess whose room I passed by on the way down the hall: Artie Walsh.
- Dad's old partner? - Yes, he was in for tests last week.
The results weren't very good.
- Oh, no! I always liked him.
- Yeah.
I remember him inviting us for weenie roasts when we were kids.
I'm sure he remembers you, too - asking for a salade niçoise.
- Does Dad know he's here? - I doubt it.
- Think he wants to? - No.
They haven't spoken in years.
Did Artie say why they had a fight? No, he's tight lipped.
But, with some arm-twisting, he admitted it was Dad's fault.
You should try the cafeteria here.
They've got a new chef.
He's from Yemen.
So many of the great ones are! Dad, Artie Walsh is in hospital here.
He's not at all well.
I know.
They may have to scoop out half his intestines.
Taste this meat loaf.
It's just chewy enough.
No, thank you.
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