- Hello, Frasier.
- Niles.
Double latte, full fat, chocolate shavings.
- The self-pity special.
- I've had a hellish week.
To top it off, our wine club president kicked the bucket.
His body wasn't even chilled before the club jackals angled to succeed him.
You've never seen such conniving.
- Who's winning? - Maris, of course, but just barely.
Matthew Pym tried to stage a coup.
Fortunately, Maris has photos she took at his wedding, showing the label on the champagne.
- Domestic? - Not just domestic.
From Connecticut.
It's that dreadful woman who works for you.
- Who? - Lady Macbeth without the sincerity.
Oh, Bebe's here.
I care for her just as little as you do, but she is a terrific agent, which is why I overlook the fact that she's pushy, obnoxious and a phoney.
- Bebe, darling, how are you? - My poor, wounded baby.
I heard what those misers you work for are trying to do.
- They're not going to get away with it.
- You heard wrong.
They extended my contract with an 8% raise.
Double cappuccino.
Move it! Well, Bebe, that is what my contract calls for.
A slave contract you negotiated before you had an agent.
- They took advantage of you.
- I thought it was generous.
Do you have any idea how hot you are? I get offers every day offering the moon for you.
- Am I really that hot? - Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
I'm Niles, a person at the table.
Niles, thank God you're here.
Give him some brotherly advice.
She's the devil.
Run fast, run far.
Bebe, I realise the station makes a handsome profit on my show, but what can I do? - I do have a contract.
- No, darling, what you have is a fever.
- What? - Ooh! You're like a furnace! I think I see where you're going with this and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
- How do you feel about being low paid? - Who makes more? Who doesn't? Nanette from "Pet Chat", the Happy Chef.
- Father Mike could buy and sell you.
- Father Mike! - He took a vow of poverty.
- Well, now he's taking a cruise.
Oh, that big, strapping chest of yours is all congested.
Say the word and I'll tell the station you have some coughing up to do and so do they.
Bebe, this fever of mine, how much higher do you think it might go? I'm guessing 30% to 40% above where it is now.
Well, what else can I say, but ah-choo.
'You wanted me to get you pregnant.
' 'I was in a coma.
' My God, in one scene they've got Sky, Zena and Slate.
I don't think someone called Frasier should point any fingers.
Is this how you spend your days when I'm not at home? When you're not home, I can hear what they're saying.
You wouldn't want to miss this.
"Oh, Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you? He loves Placenta.
" My favourite are the villains.
One guy kicked his grandmother down the stairs, embezzled money from a hospital and poisoned a puppy.
Give him credit, though.
He did show up for work every day.
If you're going to be so subtle, how will I ever get your point? I think when you sign a contract, you stick to it.
A man's only as good as his word.
My words have doubled ad revenues and they gave me a measly 8% raise.
So what? In 30 years on the police force, do you think I ever said, "Hey, I'm shooting more bad guys, how about a bonus?" You don't understand.
It's show business.
- I'll get it.
- Thank you, Daphne.
Negotiations are like a dance.
They expect me to fight my contract.
They know I'm not sick.
I know they know.
They know I know they know.
- It's all part of the negotiations mambo.
- Hello, Roz.
- Daphne.
Hey, Martin.
- How are things at the front? They painted over your parking space name.
Perfect.
Bebe told me they might.
It's a negotiating tactic.
It shows they're nervous.
They must be jittery.
They took your picture down.
- Roz, they're just trying to scare me.
- He knows they're trying to scare him.
They know that he knows they're trying to scare him.
Thank you, Dad! - It's like a card game.
- Like a card game.
It's like a dance.
It sounds like a weekend in Vegas.
I thought they'd play games, too, but they're auditioning replacements.
- They're interviewing people? - All day.
They're hot on this woman who has a gardening show.
She calls herself Ma Nature.
I can't work for her, Frasier.
You should see her nails.
There's no need to panic.
I'm sure it's all part of the dance.
The station sent me over with your stuff.
They've cleaned out my cubicle? You're up on the gossip.
They're bluffing, right? I hope not.
My audition went really well.
Nurse Bebe reporting for duty.
Blossoms for my little shut-in.
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