But I really, really appreciate it, Frasier.
Oh, a basket of fruit would suffice! I am changing for my date! Don't look at me! Turn around! Turn all the way around! I'm driving! Fine! Hand me my jeans, will you? Here.
Oh, oh, great! That's just what i need! There's a police car behind us.
Please don't turn on the red light.
Don't turn on the red light.
Don't turn on the Damn it, Frasier! Don't worry, you're not going to get a ticket.
You're a celebrity, use a little juice! Oh, I refuse to do anything of the sort! OK, fine.
Enjoy traffic school.
Good Evening, officer.
I'm Doctor Fraiser Crane If there's any problem I'm listening.
I clocked you doing sixty-two in a forty-mile zone.
Well, this is interesting.
Usually both people are in the backseat.
It's not what you think.
See, we were just coming back from KACL, where I do my radio show.
Uh-huh.
You see, we ran a little late, because I was on with a very troubled caller, with a very complex psychological problem on my radio show.
Hey, wait a minute.
You're Dr.
Frasier Crane! Drat! My cover is blown.
I love your show! I listen to it all the time.
Oh well, thank you.
It's always nice to License and registration, please.
Be arrested by a fan.
Roz, if you could delay ablutions? I'm in custody here! Hey, it's your birthday today.
Is this a little celebration? No, no, I'm simply taking my producer to meet her date.
Frasier, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I'd have thrown you a party at the station! Question asked, question answered.
I'm just going to be dropping her off, then have a cold plate of deli, and get to bed early.
Almost makes you feel sorry for me, doesn't it? I spent my last birthday subduing a drunk-and-disorderly at a sleazy bar.
Don't you hate to work on your birthday? He was my date.
Tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to let you off.
Just think of this as a little birthday gift from me.
Thank you.
But slow down.
I'd hate to see you get hurt.
I'm listening.
OK, let's go! Do you sense a little moment there? What are you talking about?! Well, between me and that very attractive officer.
It just felt like there was something there.
Yeah, major sparks.
Now, just the right pedal.
The big pedal? Now, just a minute.
We'll see if she's watching me.
If she's watching me, she's interested.
Oh, yes! She's turning around, she's looking up! Move your vehicle! Oh, yes.
I've cast my spell.
Crane, make a wish.
Oh, why bother? I made the same wish last year, it didn't come true.
Come on, son, blow out the candles! Oh, what a surprise.
Look, they're lighting again! What sorcerer's magic is this? You know, Dad, I had a nice little birthday bonus today.
On my way home, I was pulled over for speeding by a very pretty policewoman, who let me off.
I got the distinct impression that she found me attractive.
Now, that sort of thing happens, doesn't it? Oh, sure.
I was always leaning against somebody's window thinking, "that bloody chainsaw in the backseat looks kind of iffy, but she's got a cute smile!" Oh, ha, ha.
I'm telling you, there was something there, though.
Well, of course the whole conversation's academic.
I don't even know her name.
I suppose I could call down to the police station and try to find out who was on traffic duty.
But, uh, I don't suppose they'd give that sort of information to a civilian.
You'd have to have some conduit to the police department, an insider who could break that damnable code of silence! All right, I'll make the damn call.
You, Dad? Why, I didn't even think of? Oh, shut up.
You know, I haven't felt such an instant attraction to a woman in quite some time.
Well, considering the difference in our backgrounds, it's really rather puzzling.
Oh, pish-tosh! It's painfully obvious what's attracting you the gleam of her jackboots, her dangling nightstick, the glint of her handcuffs hanging on her leather belt.
You're off on some lurid little disciplinary fantasy.
Oh, Dr.
Crane, shame on you! You got icing up and down your sleeve! Oh.
I am a naughty boy.
Well, certainly a messy one.
But mainly a naughty one.
Hey, Charlie, yeah, Marty Crane, how ya doing? Hey, listen, Charlie, I'm trying to track down a woman officer who was on traffic tonight, uh, near Blanchett and Fourth.
Blanchett and Fourth.
Great, OK, thanks.
Her name's Maureen Cutler, and she usually goes to McGinty's after work.
Charlie said she's probably there now.
Thanks, Dad.
Are you going to go? Well, I don't know.
A police bar? If I go in there alone, I'll stand out like a sore thumb! All right, I'll go.
Sit down, Niles, I'll go with him.
You know, after all these hoity-toity, caviar-sucking egghead types you've been dating, I think a lady cop would be a nice breath of fresh air.
Oh, all right, I'll go! Give me a second, I'll put some fresh collar-stays in, and-oh, oh, I've got a fabulous brand-new cashmere jacket I've been dying to premiere! Oh, yeah.
This is gonna work.
You see her yet? I don't know.
What about her? No, that's not Maureen.
No, I mean, what about her? Oh, there she is! Wow, she is a looker! Well, come on, let's go say hello.
Oh well! Oh my God, fancy seeing you here! Hey, Frasier Crane.
Oh, you remember me? Come on ?sixty-two in a forty-mile zone with a half-naked girl in the backseat? Roz.
Oh.
Oh, uh, this is my father.
How do you do? I'm Maureen Cutler.
Marty Crane, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Say, Maureen, how about a drink? Yeah, why not? Let me get them.
I'm a beer drinker myself, what about you? That's fine by me.
Beer, huh? Oh, what the hell, I'll try one.
So, what brings you guys here? This is mostly a cop hangout.
Well, I used to be on the force.
Really? Yeah.