Go ahead, Tom.
I'm listening.
Hi, Dr.
Crane.
Uh, it's about my girlfriend.
My problem is, I don't know if I love her for herself Or because things are so great between us physically.
Well, how long have you two been together? Six years.
And the sex is still that good? Oh man, Dr.
Crane, every morning, night, three times a day on weekends.
But I'm not sure we have much else in common.
Well, common interests are of course the foundation of three times, you say? Is that abnormal? Well, uh, no, no, it's not abnormal.
It's not fair, but it's not abnormal.
Um, but you know, perhaps you share more things than you think you do actually.
I'll tell you what, try this: why don't you pick up a catalogue from a local university, go through it with her and see if there are any courses you'd like to take together? That's a good idea! Thanks, Doc.
Have a great weekend.
Well, I'd wish you the same but it hardly seems necessary.
Well, that's it for today, Seattle.
This is Dr.
Frasier Crane, wishing you all good mental health.
Niles called from the airport; he wants you to call him back.
He sounded frantic! I'll call him from the car.
He's flying to a conference in Switzerland; I promised to talkhim through it.
Surely he's flown before? Well, not coach! Roz, is this the dress you're wearing to the wedding? I have to, I'm a bridesmaid.
Is there a reason it has to be so, so? Hideous? It's supposed to be, so that way, the bride, By comparison, will glow! Next to this baby, she'll light up like a bug zapper.
You know, of all my friends in Wisconsin, this girl was the last one I thought would beat me to the altar.
Not the Dairy State's comeliest chunk of cheddar? Let's just say she works in her father's ice cream parlour and she eats her mistakes.
The groom's family makes cones.
Oh, well, we don't need Freud for that, do we? The whole thing is just so depressing.
Lately everyone I know is settling down, getting married, having children.
What am I doing wrong? Well, do you want me to answer as a friend, or a therapist? As a friend! See a therapist.
Frasier! Well, Roz, I think your whole problem stems from some unresolved issues that cause you to choose the men you date.
Always flashy and superficial, offering no prospect of a lasting relationship.
Why would I do that? Maybe fear of commitment, fear of being hurt.
But maybe it's time you started looking at different kinds of men.
You know, men who are more settled, a little less flash and more substance.
You're probably right, Frasier.
Hey, if I were smart, I'd go out with the next guy I see I'm not the least bit attracted to.
Roth, Roth, I juth bit my tongue.
Can you kith it and make it better? The next one after him.
Oh, Doc, Doc.
Here's my video camera.
Oh, thank you, Bulldog.
What do you need it for? Well, I'm going to record my father.
I'm going to have hislife on tape so Frederick can enjoy it in years to come.
What a good idea! Whoa! That's the ugliest thing I ever saw! I'm going to a wedding.
Oh, I love weddings.
Never been to a wedding where I didn'tbag at least one bridesmaid.
And the uglier the dress, thequicker they want to get out of them.
This one would hit the floor before the rice! I've got to get going.
Can you believe I actually have to be seen in public in this thing? Well, Roz, it's only for a few hours.
After that you can donate it to the Salvation Army and one day make some Irish drag queen very happy.
What's the point of going to Switzerland without spending a day on the slopes? So I ducked out of the conference and who should I run into, but Maris? She'd just flown in for heryearly goat placenta treatments! Good Lord, is it placenta treatment time again already? We had a set-to on the slopes.
She ran, I tried to followher tracks in the snow, but alas, she made none.
Oh, dear What is it? What's the matter? I just spotted someone.
It's my least favorite patient.
The man's a compulsive womaniser.
He goes through so many women, he calls them all by the same odious nickname, "Sunshine," to avoid slip-ups.
Oh, God.
Frasier, what do you do when you don't like a patient? Well, it's a tricky subject, isn't it? How long have you been seeing him? Six months.
We've made no progress whatsover.
Sometimes Ifeel he comes in not so much for help as to brag.
He claimsto have been with, at last count, one hundred and fifty women! Oh puh-leease! A hundred and fifty! As if anything over, say seven weren't absurd.
Well, I would say eleven, but I get your point.
Oh, now serving one hundred and fifty-one.
Good God! He's here to see Roz? Yes, well, no doubt they met when Sealy Posturepedic named them Man and Woman of the Year.
Niles, you don't understand.
She-she'sbeen very vulnerable lately.
Well, I hope you'll forgive me if I don't stick around.
I'd like to leave before she makesintroductions.
I've got to warn her! Warn her how? What I just told you was in strict confidence, therapist to therapist.
You can't go repeating it! But-but- No! Oh of course, of course, you're right, I won't.
But that is the last man that Roz should be with! Well, don't worry.
Knowing Roz, he won't be.
Hey, Frasier! Oh, Roz! I'd like to introduce you to someone.
This is Ben Collins.
Frasier Crane, pleasure.
Likewise.
Is it all right if we join you? Oh, why not?? I'll grab our coffees.
He is the greatest guy! You know, when I first met him, I thought, "He's not my type.
" Then I remembered what you said.
And I'm so glad you gave me that advice, Frasier, because without it, I would never have given him a second look.
Well, Roz, let's not rule out that all-important third look.
Would you stop worrying about me, Frasier? This one'sdifferent.
I can tell he really cares about me.
Here you go, Sunshine! Why can't you be like other dogs? Why can't you bring home bones or animals you kill? Give me those! Relax, I'm just going to put them with the roses you picked yesterday.
Oh hey, Dad! Fresh from your walk? I think now is as good a time as any to crank up the ol' camcorder.
Nah, maybe later.
Oh Dad, you've been saying "no" for weeks now! Well, gee, some people would take that for a hint! All you have to do is just sit here and talk about yourlife.
Life's got nothing to do with it! This is about me dying and you having something to look at after I'm dead.
The wholething gives me the creeps! I can't believe you're refusing to record your history, thestory that only you, Martin Crane, can tell, because it gives you the creeps! OK then, I'll tell you the real truth.
My Indian heritage forbids it.
I'm afraid your magic box will rob me of my spirit.
I don't know why you're being so negative about this.
It'snot really for when you're dead.
It's for when you've lostyour mind.
Hey, Frasier.
Oh hello, Roz! Why, after waiting for forty-five minutes, did I assume you'd forgotten our appointment? Sorry, but uh I was on my way out, when Ben called.
Oh yes Ben.
Oh, what's with you? Every time I bring him up, you make thatface.
I'm getting the sense that you don't like him that much.
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