Know where we should go tonight? Frannie's Fish and Chips.
Dad, we're taking Niles out to boost his spirits, not his cholesterol.
Oh, please.
That French food you guys eat is full of butter and cheese.
But at least it's not prepared by a woman working a deep fryer in a batter-dipped brassiere.
- Hey, isn't that Niles? - Where? Driving that old hatchback.
No, Niles would never be seen in anything called a hatchback.
Although it does look a lot like him.
My God, he's running away.
Well, catch him, Mr.
12-Cylinder-German-Engineering.
- Hello? - Niles, what the hell are you doing? Well, I'm just pulling into my parking garage.
- You on your way? - What are you talking about? - You're driving up Second Avenue.
- You're in that little red thing.
No, you must be mistaking me for someone else.
See you when you get here.
He's getting away! He just turned right at the corner.
- Hello? - Niles? What are you running for? I can see that it's you.
No, you're mistaking me for someone else.
That is ridiculous.
I can hear my own horn through the phone.
Frasier, I may lose the connection.
I'm stepping onto my elevator.
I'll see you when you - What's the matter with him? - Maris repossessed his car.
That must've been all he was able to afford.
He's just ashamed to admit it.
- Hello? - Niles, do not hang up on me.
We know what's going on.
We're right behind you.
I was afraid this would happen.
I was petrified someone I knew would see me driving this humiliating car.
It looks like some buggy derailed from a carnival ride, except that this has no safety features.
Oh, Niles, you're worrying over nothing.
What kind of person judges you by the sort of car you drive? - Mitzie Gill.
- Well, yes, she might.
- She drives a Bentley.
- She's parking on the corner.
She'll see me.
Everybody all right? Dad, come quickly.
I need your help.
Oh, my God, what is it? I need you to get up here and pretend this is your car.
My shoulder is killing me.
Good Lord, did you bang into the steering wheel? No, I've been parallel parking all week without power steering.
- Let me get you some aspirin.
- Oh, thank you, Dad.
Check upstairs in the bathroom off the study.
Pardon the disarray, Frasier.
I've had to cut my cleaning lady down to two times a week.
Yeah, looks like a bomb went off.
I gather your financial situation's gotten a bit shaky.
Oh, yes.
Every since I rejected Maris' attempt to woo me back, she's been quite vindictive.
She's frozen all the accounts.
Sherry? Thank you.
My salary isn't even covering my legal bills.
Well, what do your lawyers tell you? Well, mostly that my salary isn't even covering my legal bills.
You know, Niles, if this siege is going to continue, you may have to tighten your belt a bit.
Perhaps we should make up a list of your expenses.
All right.
Here.
Thank you.
Oh, not with that pen.
No, that once belonged to Noel Coward.
- I just purchased it.
- It is stunning.
But if you're gonna be economizing, perhaps you'll have to forgo the decorative antique pens.
Could we at least review my list before we make any drastic decisions? - Very well.
- That's my rent.
- That's insurance.
- You pay that much in rent? Well, that includes the building newsletter.
It's outrageous.
- Niles, are you there? - Yes, Dad.
Well, you can't blame me for the housing market.
This is a simple apartment.
I'm in some room with a lot of books, but it doesn't have a bathroom.
Oh, that's the library, not the study.
Go down the hall, make a left.
Yes, well, this simple apartment of yours is gonna bankrupt you.
You must admit it's a bit large for one person.
Well, don't forget I have a pet.
Are you telling me that your bird requires both a study and a library? All right, I will return the Noel Coward pen, but this is my home.
This is a basic necessity.
Okay, I found the aspirin, but I'm lost again.
I'm in a blue room with big rolls of paper.
That's the gift-wrapping room.
Look for the stairs.
The only stairs I could find go up.
You have a third floor? It's practically a crawlspace.
Go out the door to the left.
Don't look at me like that.
I have to have a roof over my head.
Niles, you have three roofs over your head.
For God's sake, come to your senses.
Look at the numbers.
They don't lie.
I'm afraid you don't have any choice.
All right, now I'm stumped.
How do I get down? There's a bookcase blocking my way.
- The bookcase is a secret door, Dad.
- How do I open it? - Poke Mrs.
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