Hello, Roz.
Hey.
So, what are you up to? Oh, they put in phone jacks so you can go on line.
I was just talking to this guy who sounds really great.
(sighs) What? I'm a very busy person.
How else am I going to meet people? Just seems so impersonal, Roz.
I mean, my God, what ever happened to human contact? Engaging people face-to-face, eye-to-eye.
There's your Dad.
Oh, don't let him see me.
Hey, Martin.
Hey, Roz.
Hi.
What you been up to? Oh, just surfing the Net.
Hi, Dad.
You know, I never got into that Net stuff.
ROZ: Really? You really ought to give it a try.
It's a great way to keep in touch with your friends and your family.
Family? Gosh, you know, that's nice to know that some people still care about their family.
Dad, please? Well, I got to go.
I'm going night fishing with Duke and Eddie, of course.
You know, I wouldn't leave Eddie.
You don't turn your back on your family.
What isthatall about? Oh, our Cousin Dodie's wedding was last week.
Oh, excuse me-- Cousin Dodie's weddin'.
It's a Western theme.
On the response card, it asked for our chili preference-- mild or kick-ass-- oh.
Anyway, Niles and I told her that we had a conference to attend at the Therapists' Guild.
There is no Therapists' Guild, is there? No.
Dad found us out.
Wait.
Didn't you have a "Therapist's Guild" conference on Alice's last birthday? The point is, it struck a nerve with Dad.
Sorry, Roz, it's just that, you know.
he thinks we're ashamed of his family.
It's been an issue with him for years.
Now he hasn't spoken to me for days.
Oh, thank God, I don't have to deal with this tonight.
I've already earmarked a fine bottle of Chateau Beychevelle.
Ah, hot date? (chuckling) No, no.
Niles is coming over to watch The Antiques Roadshowwith me.
I guess you'll be coming in late tomorrow.
It's our favorite show, Roz.
Party.
Whee! All right, stop it.
That's enough.
Oh, I think theRoadshow is from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, tonight-- Amish country.
Ooh, quilts.
I'll uncork the wine, Niles.
You set out the cheesecake.
Dad.
Dad.
Uh, I thought you were going night fishing with Duke.
You can't keep this up forever, Dad.
Well, all right, fine; I hope you don't mind but Niles and I are planning on watching a television show.
Oh, really? Well, I'm surprised you don't have a conference to go to.
Dad, we said we were sorry about Dodie's wedding.
Yes, and we did send her a baby gift.
Well, Duke canceled out on me.
You can have the TV in an hour.
I just want to watch my game show.
(groans) Dad, please, not a game show.
I happen to like it, all right? People bring in all their junk from their attics, and these experts tell them what it's worth.
Are you talking aboutThe Antiques Roadshow? Yeah.
Well, that's the program Niles and I are going to watch.
I'll just check outside and see if the world has ended.
Well, if you want to watch it, no one's stopping you.
Oh.
Wonderful.
(chuckles) APPRAISER: And you have no idea what this writing desk might be worth? WOMAN: No.
My husband bought it at a garage sale.
Ooh, that's a lovely piece.
I'd say it's Sheraton.
APPRAISER: At auction, this would bring in more than $8,000.
Whoa! Ka-ching! WOMAN: What about this chair? Is it an original, too? Oh, it certainly looks it.
Nah, nah, they always do this-- set them up on the first one and then lower the boom on the second one.
I think that carving looks authentic.
So does the inlay.
No, no, no.
APPRAISER: I'm sorry to say this chair is a reproduction worth at best $150.
WOMAN: Oh, what a shame.
Keep watching, boys; you'll get the hang of it.
WOMAN: Well, I guess we still have the desk.
APPRAISER: The real clue here is the veneer.
Veneer.
Veneer! Veneer.
HOST: And now for some background information on the beautiful city of Harrisburg.
Mute! (laughing) Evening, all.
Oh, hi, Daphne.
Hi.
Hi, Daphne.
Wow.
Don't see the three of you watching the same show very often.
What's going on? Pavarotti jumping the Grand Canyon? It'sThe Antiques Roadshow.
So what you got in the box? Oh, it's Donny's mother's wedding gown.
He wants me to wear it at our wedding.
What if I don't like it? Daphne, if you try it on, we'd be glad to have a look.
Just go put it on.
Oh, Dad! Dad, turn it up.
SARA BRIGGS: But the real masterwork is this unique art deco headboard.
It features a variety of veneers.
Veneer.
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