ROZ: Frasier, I knew when you bought me lunch, there was going to be a catch.
- How long is this gonna take? - Well, it shouldn't take too long, Roz.
I can't believe I'm actually scouring a science-fiction convention for X- Men comics.
I feel I'm contributing to the decline of my son's intellect.
Then why are you doing it? Well, because I said no to the eyebrow ring.
Oh, excuse me, good sir.
Could you direct me, please, to Cubby's World of Comics? - Yeah, it's right over there.
- Oh.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're a fierce but helpful people.
Oh, stop.
- Good Lord.
That's Jackson Hedley.
- Who? FRASIER: Jackson Hedley, the famous Shakespearean actor.
He came to my school when I was a teen, did a show of soliloquies, began my love affair with the Bard.
Excuse me, Roz, I think I'll just go pay my respects to Mr.
Hedley.
Excuse me.
Um, what's Jackson Hedley doing here? Signing autographs and being awesome.
They've got the whole cast of Space Patrol coming this weekend.
Jackson Hedley was on a television show? What, are you kidding? He's Tobor, the ship's android.
Where you been, man? I don't know.
Reading, attending the theatre, getting haircuts.
Hi, Roz.
Hi, Noel.
So you're a closet Trekker.
I always had a feeling we were more than mere coworkers.
This explains the heat between us.
I feel heat, all right.
Because I'm in hell.
- There you are, Dwayne.
- Thanks, Tobor.
FRASIER: Hello, Mr.
Hedley.
May I say it's an honour to see you again.
Thank you.
So, what would you like to be autographed today? Actually, I already have your autograph.
I got it after seeing your performance of Hamlet.
Oh, my.
- That was a long time ago.
- But not forgotten.
May I say, on behalf of my brother and myself, thank you for opening our young eyes to the wonders of Shakespeare.
You are more than welcome.
Tell me, do you get to do much theatre anymore? Oh, no, I'm afraid those days are over.
The show became so popular, I can't get cast as anything but an android, a cyborg, or when I get a chance to really spread my wings, a mutant.
Well, what a shame.
For you and the theatre.
Oh, you are very kind.
Well, my fans await.
It was lovely meeting you, Mr Frasier Crane.
Thank you, Mr.
Hedley.
It just breaks my heart to see that man reduced to this.
So demeaning.
Well, so he's not doing Shakespeare, but look, he's got tons of fans that worship him.
What's so demeaning about that? Hey, Tobor, would you do my kid's birthday party? Here's my card.
Travel time is extra and I eat by myself.
- Hey, look who I found at the airport.
- Oh.
Welcome home, Dad.
So how was Florida? Oh, it was a whirlwind.
Duke and I hit the dog track, and then we met the Michael Jordan of jai alai players at the Red Lobster.
But the place I went back to most of all was Captain Pete's Gator Farm.
Ah, ah.
Did you go see the Hemingway home? Well, you know, Fras, you can't squeeze everything in.
But I tell you, these gators are amazing.
You're out in the glades in this fan boat, and it's just you and Captain Pete and a cooler full of raw chickens.
To think I wasted my last vacation in Vienna.
Then he dangles a chicken at the end of a stick and before you know it, a 15-foot monster comes rushing out of the water.
And he's yelling: "Hurry up and take the picture.
This son of a bitch is heavy!" That's delightful, Dad.
- Where's Daphne? - My honey bunny has the flu.
Aww, that's too bad.
Probably got it standing in front of an open refrigerator.
Nice to have you back, Dad.
- Frasier.
- Oh, thank you, Niles.
- You will never guess what I found.
- Hm? This is the autograph Jackson Hedley gave me in junior high school.
Oh, Niles.
"Dear Coach Pellit, please excuse Niles from gym for obvious reasons.
" - The other side.
- I figured.
"To Niles, my kingdom for more fans like you.
Jackson Hedley.
" Gosh.
That's lovely.
Of course, I'm still envious that you got to see him again.
You wouldn't be if you'd been at that convention.
To see the man who defined Hamlet reduced to hawking T-shirts and sci-fi gewgaws.
- It's a terrible waste of talent.
- Tragic.
No artist should have to endure that.
If only people could see him the way we did.
Niles, how difficult would it be to mount Jackson's one-man show? It's relatively simple.
That's true.
There's minimal scenery, no supporting ca - Wait a minute, are you suggesting? - Well, why not? There's certainly no shortage of theatres in this town.
We could do it on a Monday when they're dark anyway.
We could revive the man's career.
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