Our topic today has been honesty.
The courage to face each other with the plain truth.
I've certainly enjoyed myself these last few hours.
I hope you have too.
This is Dr.
Frasier Crane wishing you good mental health.
Well, that was a dog of a show.
They all blend.
Oh, you got a message.
A Blaine Sternin called.
Blaine Sternin.
Call him back, tell him I'm dead.
Sternin.
Is he related to Lilith? Yes.
He's Lilith's half brother, the curse of the family.
What does it say when Lilith is the good one? He sounded charming on the phone.
Well, of course he sounded charming.
Charm is the viscous grease with which he oils his flimflam machine.
The man will say anything to get what he wants.
I can't believe I haven't dated this guy.
The only reason he'd be contacting me is to separate me from my money.
The man is always coming up with some Some sucker sob story while he's busy living the highlife in Laughlin, Nevada.
You know, he once stole from me a very precious antique.
My 18th-century English salt server.
Well, if you don't mind Elvis, you can have mine.
- Oh, dear God.
ROZ: What? This number he left.
It's local.
The beast walks among us.
FRASIER: Don't answer the front door or the phone.
Lock all the windows.
Blaine Sternin is in Seattle.
- Who? - Lilith's half brother.
Is he the scoundrel that walked off with your 18th-century saltcellar? The very same.
Blaine Sternin.
A package came for you this afternoon.
I believe that was the name on the return address.
What could he possibly be sending me? Daphne, you've got longer nails than I have.
Open it yourself.
All right.
Well, what do you know? It's my salt server.
[GASPS] I've heard you speak about it, but I had no idea it was so magnificent.
FRASIER: Just look at this beautiful gilding.
And the exquisite, but playful scrollwork.
And it has a tiny spoon.
Are you gonna read the note? Thank you, Niles.
"Frasier, I apologise for any trouble I've caused and hope you'll forgive me.
" He must think I've got turnips growing out of my ears.
He's after something.
Yeah.
Hide the pepper.
[TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello.
Crane residence.
Thank you.
That was the doorman.
Mr.
Sternin's on his way up.
So much for living in a security building.
Come on now, Dr.
Crane.
Maybe he wants to make amends.
Daphne, let me acquaint you with the curriculum vitae of Mr.
Blaine Sternin, or Brad Cunningham, as he's known in Maine.
Royce Thibideaux in Louisiana, and Santana Del La Cruz, the pride of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
This is a man who once made a living selling rare autographs until it was discovered that Madame Curie and Sugar Ray Robinson had the same handwriting.
And would you care to see the deed to my 50,000-acre kelp farm? It's hard to believe a man of your intellect could be so fooled.
It wasn't my intellect that he preyed upon, Daphne.
It was my kind and generous heart.
Well, not this time.
This time I will make it a stone.
[DOORBELL RINGS] He may come swaggering in here, but I assure you, he will go slinking out with his tail between his legs.
- All right, Blaine - Frasier, my brother.
It's been too long.
FRASIER: Hello, Blaine.
A wheelchair.
Nice touch.
Well, the truth is, I've been in a terrible accident.
I've lost feeling from my waist down.
Doctors tell me I'll be like this for the rest of my life.
Oh, hi, everybody.
Blaine Sternin.
Oh, uh, yeah, come on in.
Marty Crane.
Hey, hi, Marty.
How are you? - Miss Daphne Moon.
- How you doing? - Niles Crane.
- How are you? Bravo, Blaine.
This is the best one yet.
But you forget with whom you are dealing.
I've seen it all.
Dr.
Crane, the man is in a wheelchair.
Which means that somewhere, someone is missing a wheelchair.
Frasier, if you don't believe him, why don't you call Lilith? Good idea.
So, Martin, I see you also park in the blue zone.
Yeah, when I can.
But those spaces are always filled.
Yeah, well, that's probably partly my fault.
Boy, I sold a lot of fake handicapped plates in my time.
Boy, talk about a butt-load of poetic justice, huh? Yes, I believe that is the basic unit of poetic justice.
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