Despite your healthy teen scepticism, Jeremy, problems that seem crushing now can actually serve to shape your life in positive ways later on.
JEREMY [OVER PHONE]: You're just saying that.
No.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Perhaps I can convince you with a story.
I recall a young man who suffered from involuntary bed-wetting until he was 12 years old.
Or was it 13? Boy, you'd think I'd remember.
I slept in the lower bunk.
The point is, it was very difficult for him, what with, uh, the alarms and the bladder-stretching exercises, and the incessant teasing he suffered once his schoolmates found out.
JEREMY: How'd they find out? Well, the point I'm trying to make here is that this man today is a prominent and respected psychiatrist.
And, you see, his afflictions served to make him stronger, more empathic, and extremely hygienic.
- So hang in there, Jeremy.
JEREMY: Okay.
- Thanks, Dr.
Crane.
- Thank you.
And thank you, listeners.
This is Dr.
Frasier Crane saying good day and good mental health.
That was kind of brave to admit you were a bed-wetter.
Oh, Roz, pay attention.
That was Niles, not me.
Well, you know, I've gotta run.
I'm putting the finishing touches on my speech for the Boston conference.
- Did you come up with a title? - Yes.
Niles will be introducing me on: "Notes for a Critical Approach to Radio as Mediating Gateway to the Process of Psychological Demystification.
" Good speech.
What's the title? [FRASIER CHUCKLES] Well, it promises to be a fun family weekend for all, actually.
Oh.
So, what have you got planned? Actually, my sorority sisters are coming in for a visit.
I suppose you'll be sharing the secret handshake, doing skits, that sort of thing.
Yeah, right.
Only problem is, it's just my apartment is just too small for everyone to stay, and Hey, your place will be empty.
[CHUCKLES] - Say no more, Roz.
No.
- Why not? I'm sorry, Roz.
It's just the idea of strangers in my apartment.
I couldn't sleep.
- Sorry I asked.
- No apology necessary.
Ooh.
Oh, Roz, that reminds me, actually.
Since you're gonna be walking Eddie for Dad anyway, I wrote a list of things you could do for me as well.
"Pick up the mail and newspapers.
Water the ficus.
Fluff your pillows"? Yes.
Thank you.
Oh, and please don't forget to mist my bedroom with rose water.
It likes it best at dusk.
FRASIER: Oh, I love returning to Boston.
There's just something in the air.
Perhaps the toxic gas spewing from your gigantic mouth.
Oh, please, would you just let it go? I didn't mention your name.
No, you just said it was someone with whom you shared a bunk bed who is now a psychiatrist.
I'd say that narrows the field down to, hmm, me.
But only to someone who knows that you're my brother.
- And who would that be? - My patients.
- The guys at work.
- One of the flight attendants.
Oh, so that's why she looked at me that way when I told her I spilled my drink.
Would you come on? I wanna see my bag come down the chute.
FRASIER: All right, Dad.
You can forget about my introducing your talk.
Oh, Niles, you can't be serious.
I wouldn't even be here if Daphne didn't wanna see Boston.
Yes, I do.
So you two make up, and let's go and get one of those famous Boston lobsters.
No, it's Maine that's famous for lobsters, sweetheart.
Boston's famous for beans.
- Beans? NILES: Mm-hm.
What kind of a city brags about bloody beans? MAN: Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, your common pumpkin was once, uh, 600 times the size of the present-day variety, thereby allowing the entire fiefdom to feast the whole winter on the, uh, meat of a single seed.
- Cliff Clavin.
- Frasier.
FRASIER: Ha, ha! - You old dog.
How you doing? FRASIER: Good to see you.
Say hello to the family.
This is my brother, Niles.
CLIFF: Hey, Niles.
- And his fiancée, Daphne Moon.
And this is my dad, Martin Crane.
CLIFF: Hey, Marty.
- Nice to meet a fellow civil servant.
- You're one of the brethren, are you? - I was a cop for 30 years.
Oh, yeah.
Couldn't pass the mail-carrier's exam, huh? You know what, I can't believe you brought your entire family here for my retirement party.
FRASIER: Well, actually, l You know, when I didn't get your RS-s'il-vous-plaît, I figured you weren't gonna show up, but, uh, ha, ha, you son of a gun, you wanted to surprise me, didn't you? [FRASIER LAUGHING] Yes.
Surprise! You know what, I gotta go meet Ma's plane.
She's bringing in ten gallons of punch.
See you guys tonight, huh? - Eight o'clock sharp.
FRASIER: Right.
At Cheers.
Oh, no, no, no.
Sammy's got it booked for a, uh, Red Sox reunion tonight.
Uh, we're gonna be at the, uh, Somerville Town Crier.
Why did you do that? This is our one free night.
I had to pull a lot of strings to get dinner reservations at L'Espalier.
You saw how thrilled he was.
I couldn't say no.
Besides, it'll be a chance to see my old friends.
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