Why are we watching the Business Channel? Because the other day I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.
Sometimes it takes two or three hours before it comes up again.
But when it does, it's exciting.
Okay, honey, you really need a job.
Dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
Right there! That's the third sign today.
Right there.
On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say, "Huh?" No, you just said "dad.
" And everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father.
Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet.
Which is my father's last name.
And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the "s" at the end.
And there was a rotisserie with a spinning chicken.
His lndian name? No.
Because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him.
So coincidences? I don't think so.
-Very freaky.
-Eerie.
Who wants the last hamburger? That's it.
Now I have to go see him.
Why? Hamburger? McDonald's? Old McDonald had a farm.
My dad is a pharmacist.
And ei ei oh, It's what your mom said when you father left you.
Yes! really? No! The One With the Bullies Man, I am so beat.
You wanna forget racquetball and hang out? Yeah, all right.
-Hey, you're in our seats.
-Sorry, we didn't know.
We were sitting there.
Okay.
There is one more way to say it.
Who knows it? -Was that supposed to be funny? -Actually, I was going for colorful.
-What's with this guy? -What's with you? Nothing.
Nothing's with him.
Enjoy your coffee.
What just happened? I just took your hat.
See, I can be funny too.
My joke is that I took your hat.
That is funny.
Can I have it back? You know what? I think you're very funny.
Kudos on that hat joke.
But come on, guys, just give him back the hat.
Why should we? Because it's a special hat.
He bought it because he was feeling down one day.
So he got the hat to cheer himself up, you know? -Chandler -Stop talking.
Stop talking now.
Let me get this straight.
You're stealing my hat? You got a problem? I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
I'm telling you Rach, I've gone dead hunting with Phabby before.
It's a very scary thing for her, and she is very vunlerable.
That's why we are there.
You know, be supported or crap.
Ok, will you just let me know when to do witch.
How'd the interview go? It bit.
It was a 50s theme restaurant.
I'd have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter.
I was a sous chef at Cafe des Artistes.
How can I take a job where I have to make Laverne-and-Curly Fries? -Don't do it.
-How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank! Monica, relax.
Go get a beer.
I don't want a beer.
Who said it was for you? What's the matter? Some mean guys at the coffeehouse took my hat.
-No! -You're kidding? It was ridiculous.
These guys were bullies.
Actual bullies.
We're grownups.
This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
Oh, no, wait a minute.
I have no one.
Let's go down there and get your hat back.
Forget it.
It's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
-I went up! -What? My stock, MEG, it went up two points.
Do you realize that if I'd invested my $127 in myself yesterday that l'd, like, have a lot more than that today.
You know what? I'm going to do it.
-Do what? -Put all my money in me.
You don't know a thing about the stock market.
What's to know? Buy, sell.
High, low.
Bears, bulls.
Yes, Manhattan.
Telephone number for the stock selling store.
See? I told you these pillows would be a good idea.
Oh, God.
Here we go.
For the first time in my life, I'm gonna say, "Hi, Birth Father!" -We love you.
We're here for you.
-Good luck.
Thanks.
Hey, Rach, you want some sandwich? What is in that? Olive loaf and ham spread.
No mayo.
No, because mayo, that would make it gross.
-Run, Phoebe, run! -No, no, doggy, please! I do so want to love all animals.
Please, no.
Back off! -You got a bone? -Are you kidding? Look, kibbles! Bits! Get the hell off my leg, you yippity piece of crap! Okay.
All right.
We have a problem.
Why don't you take his trampoline? Okay, here, I know what we can do.
Okay, doggy, get the sandwich! Go get the sandwich! Good doggy.
Get the sandwich! The dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich.
What does that tell you? -lf he's not going to eat it, I will.
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