- Hi! - Hey! So, what's the final head count on my baby shower? Twenty.
Some work people had things to do.
Your sisters can't make it.
They're not coming to a social event where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking.
As long as my mom's here.
- Oh, my God.
Your mother.
- My mom's not gonna be here? Given we forgot to invite her, it'd be a big coincidence if she was.
My God! Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.
I don't have a mother.
Often I forget Oh, give it a rest.
So my mother is not coming to my baby shower? No.
Neither is mine.
We'll take care of it.
We'll call her.
You go home and get ready.
Make sure she comes.
It's important.
It's my mom.
- I know.
What's her number? - I don't know.
Go.
I have it in my book.
Go.
If you're in charge of invitations, why am I calling her? Hello, Mrs.
Green! Hi, it's Monica Geller.
- Oh, hello, Monica.
- Hi.
It's last-minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
- My daughters told me when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
"- For what", "dear?" For not inviting me, or for lying about it? Oh, my God! My ass is sweating.
Please, please, can you come? It starts at 4:00.
- Well, all right.
I'll see you at 4:00.
- Thank you.
- Isn't it at 3:00? - Son of a bitch! The One With the Baby Shower mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 Hey! Wanna shoot some hoops? I'm practicing for an audition to be host of a game show.
- Cool! - Great! If I get it, by day, I'll be Dr.
Drake Ramoray.
But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani! You'd be perfect! That's your name! The audition's soon, and I don't understand the game.
Do you want help? Oh, really? That'd be great.
Hey, you guys can be the contestants! We can lose to junior-high girls some other time.
- All right.
Let's play Bamboozled! - Bamboozled? - Isn't that a cool name? - Yeah! All right.
Okay.
Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
Tell us about yourself, Ross.
Well, I'm a paleontologist.
I live in New York.
I have a son, Ben.
Hi, Ben! And I said, "a little bit.
" How about you, Chandler? I'm a headhunter.
I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue Third World nations.
Hi, Rasputin.
Excellent! Let's play! Chandler, you'll go first.
- What is the capital of Colombia? - Bogota.
It's Bogota, but close enough.
You can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango Card.
- What does a Wicked Wango Card do? - I should know that.
Let's see.
One moment, please Here we are.
A Wicked Wango Card determines if you go higher or lower.
Higher or lower than what? - This is embarrassing! - Can you believe how lame this is? I'm sorry.
I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
I told the stripper to be here at 5.
That's good, right? You ordered a stripper? That is inappropriate.
Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
Oh, hi, Mrs.
Green.
I'm so glad you could make it.
Thank you so much.
We're so sorry.
We could not feel worse about it.
Try.
There's my little girl! - She's still mad.
- Yeah, I know.
Isn't it great? One less person to make small talk with.
Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too.
It doesn't bother you? We've apologized twice.
I can't do any more than that.
You hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Okay.
I can do that.
- I gotta go powder my ass.
- Oh.
That face! Like when you were in high school.
If I didn't know better, I'd say you're a cheerleader in trouble.
Come, let's get some tea.
Oh, my! Look at that.
Only three weeks to go.
Did you pick a nanny? If you use your maid, it will split her focus.
Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny.
And I don't have a maid.
It's like you're a cave person.
You must get a nanny.
You don't know how overwhelming it will be.
When you were a baby, I had Mrs.
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