Ahh! I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for hours! Give it a rest, you two! Sorry! A Fishful of Dollars Good morning, class.
I trust you've prepared for today's final exam.
Excuse me, I've missed a few lectures.
What subject is this? Ancient Egyptian algebra.
What a nightmare! Mr.
Fry, are those your underpants? Young man, it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed-brand briefs.
Lightspeed fits an active lifestyle, whether you're working or having fun.
Lightspeed.
Style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.
Oh! What a weird dream.
I'll never get back to sleep.
You say they broadcast commercials into people's dreams? - Of course.
- How is that possible? It's very simple.
The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg.
Although in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.
That's awful! It's like brainwashing.
- Weren't there ads in your time? - Well, sure.
But not in our dreams.
Only on TV and radio, and in magazines and movies, and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons, and bananas and written in the sky.
But not in dreams.
No, sirree.
Quit squawking.
Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.
We all have commercials in our dreams.
We don't run off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.
Care to sample our fragrance from Calvin Clone? No, thanks.
- And you, sir? - No, thanks- What a lovely face! We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.
Cool! Can I try these on? I can't let you open the package.
But you can try on the demo pair.
Ooh! Ho, ho, ho.
Hi, Bender.
Great new sweater.
New?! What sweater? I came here with it.
I don't know you people.
$30, please.
$30! I can't afford that.
Unless Do you take Visa? Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.
- American Express? -600 years.
- Discover card? - Sorry, we don't take Discover.
Hey! You buying Lightspeeds? Pretty ritzy.
No.
I can't afford them.
Being poor sucks.
They advertise things nobody can afford.
Quiet! There's an ad coming on.
Hello, shoppers.
It's me, Mom.
Who's the rocker jockey? It's Mom, the world's most huggable industrialist.
When my robots start to squeak like an old screen door that's when I reach for a can of "Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.
" Tasty.
And remember, Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand.
"Mom", "love", and "screen door" are trademarks of Mom Corp.
Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.
- I'm boned! - Freeze, scuzzbot! There's obviously been some sort of a mistake here.
I'm sure there's- I say, I'm sure there's- That is, I'm sure there's a very reasonable Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine? Crud! We're 50 cents short.
I'd love to chip in, but Bender stole my wallet.
That's my old bank! Maybe my account's still open.
We don't have your retina scan, fingerprint or colonic map on file.
I did open the account over 1000 years ago.
What about my ATM card? Remember your PIN number? It's the price of a pizza and soda where I used to work, Pinucci's Pizza.
Okay.
You had a balance of 93 cents.
All right! And at 2 percent interest over a period of 1000 years that comes to 4.
3 billion dollars.
To Fry! Cheers! I know Fry's rich, but do we have to wear these hats? Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is.
In fact, I think I better put on a monocle.
Pizza dinner on me! All right! Just keep the tab under 50 million dollars.
I haven't got all day.
What kind of pizza you guys want? We'll have one with everything but anchovies.
And one with my all-time favorite, anchovies.
Invalid selection.
What are you talking about? You know, those little headless fish.
Does not compute.
Does not compute.
I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200s.
- What?! - Oh, my, yes.
Fished to death.
About the time your people arrived, wasn't it, Zoidberg? I'm not on trial here.
So none of you ever had anchovies? You don't know what you're missing.
They're salty and oily, and they melt in your mouth- Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying, "One more can't hurt," and then they were gone.
We're sorry! I wish I could show you how great they were.
I'm rich, but I can't buy back things I miss from the 20th century.
Maybe you're forgetting how rich you are.
Huh? Huh? Yeah! Hmm? What do you think? I know you spent a lot of money, but it's awfully primitive.
The floors are made of such hard wood.
Hey, get a load of this pathetic 20th-century TV! What's wrong? Besides causing eye cancer, they had a lousy, low-definition picture.
True.
On this TV, I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.
That's cute.
- Sold! - Yes! I just don't get it.
Who was this Ted Danson? Why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton? - I have an idea for a sitcom.
- Leave him alone, Leela.
So he's going wacko with his money.
It's okay.
You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.
Yeah.
It is cute.
Now our final item.
This unopened can of Angry Norwegian-brand anchovies, circa 1997.
Anchovies! The last known can in existence, guaranteed fresh and edible.
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